Getting Reflexive And Intensive Pronouns Practice Right
I graded over four thousand essays last year. The ones that trip up most students aren't the complex argument structures or the thesis statements. It is the pronouns. Specifically, reflexive and intensive pronouns. You have probably seen this before: "My sister and my self went to the store." It is wrong, and it is everywhere. Before you start drilling worksheets, you need to understand what these pronouns actually do. A reflexive pronoun reflects the action back to the subject. The subject and object are the same person or thing. "I taught my self to code." The "my self" refers back to "I." An intensive pronoun does the same grammatical work but serves a different purpose. It emphasizes. "I my self built this cabinet." The "my self" is not needed for the sentence to be grammatically correct, but it adds emphasis. Here is the thing that most teachers skip: intensive pronouns are almost always optional. If you remove the intensive pronoun, the sentence still works. "The CEO her self approved the budget." Remove "her self," and you get "The CEO approved the budget." That is still a complete sentence. The only difference is emphasis. Reflexive pronouns, on the other hand, are usually required. Remove them and your sentence breaks. "I dressed my self quickly." Without "my self," you just have "I dressed quickly," which means something completely different.
When I worked with advanced ESL students, I kept seeing a pattern. They would use reflexive pronouns when they meant to use intensive pronouns, or vice versa. One student wrote, "I myself went to the store and bought myself a new jacket." The second "myself" should just be "me." It was not reflexive because the subject and object were not the same. I bought me a jacket. Actually, no. I bought myself a jacket. Wait. That is reflexive because I am both the buyer and the recipient. But "I myself went" is intensive. Let me try again. The real test is removal. If you can take the pronoun out and the sentence still makes sense without changing the core meaning, it is intensive. If the sentence falls apart or changes meaning, it is reflexive. "The painter painted her self." Remove "her self" and you get "The painter painted." That is a completely different meaning. The painter painted someone else, or just performed the action generally. So it is reflexive. I have also noticed that some students struggle with the word order. Reflexive pronouns must come after the verb they relate to, or after a preposition. "She looked at her self in the mirror." Not "She her self looked at in the mirror." The position matters because it determines the relationship between subject and object. "They prepared them self for the exam." Should be "themselves" because it refers to "they," which is plural.
Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
One mistake I see constantly is using reflexive pronouns with intransitive verbs. Verbs that do not take a direct object do not need a reflexive pronoun. "I rested my self." Just "I rested." The verb already implies the subject is doing the action to the subject. Same with "I behaved my self." The verb "behaved" is intransitive. "She introduced my self to the team." Should be "she introduced herself" if she is doing the introducing, or "she introduced me" if she is bringing someone else into the room. Another issue is the "my self and I" versus "me and myself" confusion. When you are the subject, it is "my self and I." When you are the object, it is "myself and me." But here is the catch: native speakers rarely use reflexive pronouns in compound objects. "He gave the tickets to John and me." Not "John and myself." Using "myself" there is a hypercorrection. People think "myself" sounds more formal, so they use it everywhere. It does not. I once had a colleague who insisted that "between you and my self" was correct because "my self" was more polished. It is not. "Between you and me" is the standard form. The preposition "between" takes the objective case. "My self" is not an objective case pronoun in the traditional sense. It is a reflexive form. Use it when the subject and object match. Otherwise, stick with "me."
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Practical Exercises That Actually Work
Do not just fill in blanks. That does not teach you much. Write sentences where you deliberately choose between reflexive and intensive. Take a paragraph from your writing and identify every pronoun. Ask yourself: is the subject doing the action to the subject? If yes, it needs to be reflexive. Is the pronoun adding emphasis? If yes, it is intensive. Can I remove it without changing the core meaning? If yes, it is intensive and optional. Here is a drill I used with my students. Take ten sentences. Rewrite each one twice. Once with the reflexive or intensive pronoun, once without. Compare the meanings. "The chef prepared the meal her self." vs "The chef prepared the meal." The first emphasizes the chef did it personally, not an assistant. The second is neutral. Then swap. "The child fed him self." vs "The child fed." The first is necessary because a child cannot feed without an object. The second changes the meaning entirely. This exercise shows you when the pronoun is required versus when it is just emphasis. Reading aloud also helps. Your ear will catch mistakes that your eye misses. "The committee appointed them self." Sounds wrong because "committee" is singular. Should be "it self." But actually, collective nouns can be tricky. In American English, "committee" is usually singular. In British English, it can be plural. "The committee appointed them selves" is acceptable in British English. Know your variety and stick with it.
Edge Cases and When to Skip the Drill
Some verbs almost always take reflexive pronouns in certain contexts. "Behave," "prepare," "introduce," "dress," "shave." "He shaved him self." Not "he shaved." Well, actually, "he shaved" can work if you mean he removed facial hair generally. But "he shaved him self" emphasizes he did it to his own face, not someone else. The difference is subtle. Native speakers navigate this intuitively. Learners need explicit practice. There are also fixed expressions. "Help my self," "make my self at home," "pour my self a drink." These are idiomatic. You cannot drop the reflexive pronoun without sounding odd. "Help me" means assist someone else. "Help my self" means assist yourself. The meaning flips entirely. I learned this the hard way when I told my host "help me" at a dinner party instead of "help myself." It was awkward. One limitation of reflexive and intensive pronoun practice is that the rules overlap with other grammar concepts. Reflexive pronouns can also function as emphatic appositives in complex sentences. "The president him self attended the meeting." Here "him self" is not reflexive because there is no verb taking a direct object that matches the subject. It is intensive. But the distinction is blurry for learners. I recommend focusing on the removal test rather than memorizing endless rules. It is faster and more reliable.
Another thing to watch for is the plural forms. "Ourselves," "yourselves," "themselves." Students often mix these up because the sound is similar. "They prepared they self for the trip." Should be "them selves." The spelling difference is small but the grammar difference is significant. Practice the plural forms separately until they become automatic. Finally, do not spend more than twenty minutes a day on this. It is not a skill that requires marathon study sessions. Five focused minutes of sentence rewriting beats an hour of passive worksheet completion. Check your work against a trusted reference. If you are unsure whether a pronoun is reflexive or intensive, apply the removal test. If the sentence still works without changing meaning, it is intensive. If the sentence breaks or changes meaning, it is reflexive. That is the shortcut that has served me well through years of grading papers.
