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| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Overcoming Destructive Anger Bernard Golden, 2016-06-15 Readers will be drawn to this book because their lives have been affected, even devastated, by anger. Job loss, divorce, family estrangement, substance abuse, and imprisonment are just some of the potential fallouts from uncontrolled anger. Many people do not know how to start making changes to turn destructive anger into healthy anger. This book offers understanding and tools for making those changes. In helping readers understand anger, psychologist Bernie Golden explains that while anger serves a purpose, it can easily become destructive. In this book he offers strategies to overcome anger that. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Beyond Intelligence Dona Matthews, Joanne Foster, 2014-07-11 From two internationally recognized experts in the field of gifted education comes this timely exploration of how best to nurture a child’s unique gifts, and set them on a path to a happily productive life — in school and beyond. What is intelligence? Is it really a have or have not proposition, as we’ve been led to believe? Are some children just destined to fall behind? Dona Matthews and Joanne Foster answer those questions with a resounding “No!” In Beyond Intelligence, they demonstrate that every child has the ability to succeed — with the right support and guidance. But how can parents provide that support? Matthews and Foster proceed from the assumption that knowledge is power, offering parents an information-packed guide to identifying a child’s ability, fostering creativity, and bolstering effort and persistence. Using case studies and anecdotes from their personal and professional experience, they explore different ways of learning; the links between creativity and intelligence; and how to best to provide emotional and social supports. They offer critical advice on how to work co-operatively with schools and educators, and address how to embrace failures as learning opportunities. Drawing on the latest research in brain development and education theory, Beyond Intelligence is a must-read for today’s parents and educators. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Feeling Good David D. Burns, M.D., 2012-11-20 National Bestseller – More than five million copies sold worldwide! From renowned psychiatrist Dr. David D. Burns, the revolutionary volume that popularized Dr. Aaron T. Beck’s cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and has helped millions combat feelings of depression and develop greater self-esteem. Anxiety and depression are the most common mental illnesses in the world, affecting 18% of the U.S. population every year. But for many, the path to recovery seems daunting, endless, or completely out of reach. The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other black holes of depression can be alleviated. In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life, enabling you to: Nip negative feelings in the bud Recognize what causes your mood swings Deal with guilt Handle hostility and criticism Overcome addiction to love and approval Build self-esteem Feel good every day This groundbreaking, life-changing book has helped millions overcome negative thoughts and discover joy in their daily lives. You owe it to yourself to FEEL GOOD! I would personally evaluate David Burns' Feeling Good as one of the most significant books to come out of the last third of the Twentieth Century.—Dr. David F. Maas, Professor of English, Ambassador University |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Why Women Are Blamed For Everything Dr Jessica Taylor, 2020-07-16 'The kind of book that has you screaming Yes! Yes! Yes! Now I get it! on almost every page' Caitlin Moran 'Dr Taylor sets out a compelling case . . . gives voice and agency to women who have experienced trauma and violence' Morning Star She asked for it. She was flirting. She was drinking. She was wearing a revealing dress. She was too confident. She walked home alone. She stayed in that relationship. She was naïve. She didn't report soon enough. She didn't fight back. She wanted it. She lied about it. She comes from a bad area. She was vulnerable. She should have known. She should have seen it coming. She should have protected herself. The victim blaming of women is prevalent and normalised in society both in the UK, and around the world. What is it that causes us to blame women who have been abused, raped, trafficked, assaulted or harassed by men? Why are we uncomfortable with placing all of the blame on the perpetrators for their crimes against women and girls? Based on three years of doctoral research and ten years of practice with women and girls, Dr Jessica Taylor explores the many reasons we blame women for male violence committed against them. Written in her unique style and backed up by decades of evidence, this book exposes the powerful forces in society and individual psychology which compel us to blame women subjected to male violence. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Beyond Blame Carl Alasko Ph. D., 2011-08-18 The inspiring new book from the author of Emotional Bullshit reveals why no one is to blame-but everyone's accountable. For many, a rare day goes by in which the need to blame does not arise-be it to cover one's own errors or just to assign an unfortunate event some kind of name (i.e., If only X hadn't said X, we wouldn't be in this mess.) And even for those who are somewhat better at keeping the impulse in check-it is still there. According to psychologist Carl Alasko, blame is such an intrinsic part of how we humans communicate that we rarely take a look at what we're actually doing-and how it can affect our relationships. In this book, Alasko reveals that the need to assign blame when something bad happens stems from a very deep desire we all share to see justice done. Understandable when a grave crime has been committed, but it can become a dangerous habit if we begin to operate as though placing blame were somehow necessary if we want to change something or someone in our world. Yet this feeling that someone has to pay is seldom productive in initiating positive change. In Beyond Blame, Alasko teaches readers to recognize destruction that blame causes in their lives-oftentimes without their even being aware-and to put an end to it once and for all. The path to eliminating blame is not a quick or easy one but, as Carl Alasko demonstrates, it is a road that must be traveled if we hope to achieve true peace in our lives. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: How Leaders Can Inspire Accountability Michael Timms, 2021-09-15 Leadership development consultant Michael Timms has discovered three powerful habits that not only make one a better leader, but also encourage those they lead to take greater accountability themselves. Using a compelling combination of teaching principles and illustrations backed by loads of scientific studies, Timms reveals three habits of personal accountability that are easy to implement and which can instantly begin transforming positional leaders into true leaders who inspire everyone to take more accountability for results. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Running on Empty Jonice Webb, Christine Musello, 2012-10-01 This informative guide helps you identify and heal from childhood emotional neglect so you can be more connected and emotionally present in your life. Do you sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions in life? Do you often act like you’re fine when you secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a good life and yet somehow it’s not enough to make you happy. Or perhaps you drink too much, eat too much, or risk too much in an attempt to feel something good. If so, you are not alone—and you may be suffering from emotional neglect. A practicing psychologist for more than twenty years, Jonice Webb has successfully treated numerous patients who come to her believing that something is missing inside them. While many self-help books deal with what happened to you as a child, in Running on Empty, Webb addresses the things that may not have happened for you. What goes unsaid—or what cannot be remembered—can have profound consequences that may be affecting you to this day. Running on Empty will help you understand your experiences and give you clear strategies for healing. It also includes a special chapter for mental health professionals. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: It's All Your Fault! Bill Eddy, William A. Eddy, 2012-02 Provides answers for keeping everyday problems in the workplace, family or neighborhood from becoming high-conflict disputes. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Thinking, Fast and Slow Daniel Kahneman, 2011-10-25 *Major New York Times Bestseller *More than 2.6 million copies sold *One of The New York Times Book Review's ten best books of the year *Selected by The Wall Street Journal as one of the best nonfiction books of the year *Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient *Daniel Kahneman's work with Amos Tversky is the subject of Michael Lewis's best-selling The Undoing Project: A Friendship That Changed Our Minds In his mega bestseller, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, world-famous psychologist and winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, takes us on a groundbreaking tour of the mind and explains the two systems that drive the way we think. System 1 is fast, intuitive, and emotional; System 2 is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. The impact of overconfidence on corporate strategies, the difficulties of predicting what will make us happy in the future, the profound effect of cognitive biases on everything from playing the stock market to planning our next vacation—each of these can be understood only by knowing how the two systems shape our judgments and decisions. Engaging the reader in a lively conversation about how we think, Kahneman reveals where we can and cannot trust our intuitions and how we can tap into the benefits of slow thinking. He offers practical and enlightening insights into how choices are made in both our business and our personal lives—and how we can use different techniques to guard against the mental glitches that often get us into trouble. Topping bestseller lists for almost ten years, Thinking, Fast and Slow is a contemporary classic, an essential book that has changed the lives of millions of readers. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Growing Friendships Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Christine McLaughlin, 2017-07-18 From psychologist and children's friendships expert Eileen Kennedy-Moore and parenting and health writer Christine McLaughlin comes a social development primer that gives kids the answers they need to make and keep friends. Friendship is complicated for kids. Almost every child struggles socially at some time, in some way. Having an argument with a friend, getting teased, or even trying to find a buddy in a new classroom...although these are typical problems, they can be very painful. And friendships are never about just one thing. With research-based practical solutions and plenty of true-to-life examples--presented in more than 200 lighthearted cartoons--Growing Friendships is a toolkit for both girls and boys as they make sense of the social order around them. Children everywhere want to fit in with a group, resist peer pressure, and be good sports--but even the most socially adept children struggle at times. But after reading this highly illustrated guide on their own or with a caring adult, kids everywhere will be well equipped to face any friendship challenges that come their way. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Play Your Way Sane Clay Drinko, 2021-01-19 Stop negative thoughts, assuage anxiety, and live in the moment with these fun, easy games from improv expert Clay Drinko. If you’ve been feeling lost lately, you’re not alone! Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, Americans were experiencing record levels of loneliness and anxiety. And in our current political turmoil, it’s safe to say that people are looking for new tools to help them feel more present, positive, and in sync with the world. So what better way to get there than play? In Play Your Way Sane, Dr. Clay Drinko offers 120 low-key, accessible activities that draw on the popular principles of improv comedy to help you tackle your everyday stress and reconnect with the people around you. Divided into twelve fun sections, including “Killing Debbie Downer” and “Thou Shalt Not Be Judgy,” the games emphasize openness, reciprocation, and active listening as the keys to a mindful and satisfying life. Whether you’re looking to improve your personal relationships, find new meaning at work, or just survive our trying times, Play Your Way Sane offers serious self-help with a side of Second City sass. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Ending the Blame Culture Michael Pearn, Chris Mulrooney, Tim Payne, 1998 This book is about mistakes and what we can learn from them. It faces up to, and explains how organizations can escape from 'blame cultures', where fearful conformance and risk avoidance lead to stagnation, to 'gain cultures' which tolerate and even encourage mistakes in the pursuit of innovation, change and improvement. Ending the Blame Culture was written as a result of systematic analysis of the content of over 200 accounts of real mistakes within businesses and organizations. This analysis provides both insight and understanding into the type of mistakes made, the context they were made in and how they helped learning and development. As a result the authors are able to distinguish between intelligent and undesirable mistakes: those which should be tolerated and those which must be avoided. The result is a book which gives sound advice on how individuals learn, practical measures that organizations can adopt to enhance learning through better management of mistakes, and the promotion of a culture which supports and fosters experimentation and risk taking. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do Amy Morin, 2019-01-10 The emergence of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have awakened society and encouraged women to find their voice and claim back their power. Contending with a host of difficult issues that demand psychological strength - in this crucial book, prominent psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Amy Morin gives women the techniques to build mental muscle in 13 steps. Delving into critical issues like sexism, social media, social comparison, and social pressure, Amy offers thoughtful, intelligent advice, practical tips, and specific strategies; combining them with her personal experiences, stories from former patients, and both well-known and untold examples from women from across industries and pop culture. Throughout, she explores the areas women - and society at large - must focus on to become (and remain) mentally strong. Amy reveals that healthy, mentally tough women don't insist on perfection; they don't compare themselves to other people; they don't see vulnerability as a weakness; they don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals. Insightful, grounded, and extremely timely, 13 THINGS MENTALLY STRONG WOMEN DON'T DO can help every woman flourish - and Amy will take readers on this journey with her, every step of the way. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Parenting with Presence Susan Stiffelman, MFT, 2015-04-20 Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons — refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests — can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment. Filled with practical advice, powerful exercises, and fascinating stories from her clinical work, Parenting with Presence teaches us how to become the parents we most want to be while raising confident, caring children. “Shows parents how they can transform parenting into a spiritual practice.” — Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now “Clear, wise, soulful, and poetic.” — Alanis Morissette |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: The Victim's Cry Steven D. Griffin, 2016-11-16 The cry of a victim's heart is to be heard, understood, and free from their pain. God listens to the victim's cry. This book describes the practical steps God established to help hurting people identify and release offenses, judgments, and disappointments in order to bring hope and healing to their hearts. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Spiritual Partnership Gary Zukav, 2010-05-06 In his first major book since the phenomenal bestseller The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav reveals a revolutionary new path for spiritual growth. A great transformation is taking place. We are evolving beyond the limits of our five senses and increasingly able to access data that we could not previously detect. A new and surprising world is emerging, around us and within us. If we choose to realize its potential, we will forever alter our experiences of ourselves, our relationships and our surroundings. Gary Zukav explains how a powerful new dynamic is at play in human relationships. By focusing attention on the interior rather than the outer causes of suffering or joy, we can reach our full potential and generate authentic power, co-creating rewarding partnerships of substance and depth for the purposes of our mutual spiritual growth. Filled with fascinating examples as well as practical guidance, this remarkable book is the roadmap to profound change, pointing towards a fulfi lling, joyful way of life for us all. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Shame and Guilt June Price Tangney, Ronda L. Dearing, 2003-11-01 This volume reports on the growing body of knowledge on shame and guilt, integrating findings from the authors' original research program with other data emerging from social, clinical, personality, and developmental psychology. Evidence is presented to demonstrate that these universally experienced affective phenomena have significant implications for many aspects of human functioning, with particular relevance for interpersonal relationships. --From publisher's description. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Laura Markham, 2012-11-27 A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish. This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years. If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Talking to 'Crazy' Mark Goulston, 2018-07-10 No matter how hard you try to reason with irrational people, it never works. So how do you talk to someone who just won't listen? You can't win by ignoring the insanity, and you can't argue it away. However, you can stop it cold. Top-ranked psychiatrist and communication expert Mark Goulston shows you just how to do so in this life-changing book for everyone trapped in maddening personal or professional relationships. Goulston unlocks the mysteries of the irrational mind, and explains how faulty thinking patterns develop. His keen insights are matched by a set of counterintuitive strategies proven to defuse crazy behavior, along with scripts, examples, and exercises that teach you how to use them. In Talking to “Crazy”, you will learn: Why people act the way they do How instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation, and what to do instead When to confront a problem and when to walk away How to activate the Sanity Cycle, which quickly transforms you from threat to ally How to use 14 simple yet effective communication techniques, including assertive submission flattery, the kiss-off, and more You can't reason with unreasonable people, but you can reach them. Talking to “Crazy” shows you just how easy it is to do it. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) Carol Tavris, 2013 Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they make mistakes? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibil. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Julie Smith, 2022-01-06 Give your mind the one thing it needs in 2024 with the book everyone is STILL talking about, from clinical psychologist and TikTok sensation Dr Julie Smith 'A brilliant book' Steven Bartlett, Diary of a CEO podcast 'Full of sound, helpful advice with life skills, from building confidence to managing stress' Sunday Times AS FEATURED IN THE OBSERVER, STYLIST, EVENING STANDARD, WOMEN'S HEALTH, MARIE CLAIRE AND GRAZIA ________ Drawing on years of experience as a clinical psychologist, online sensation Dr Julie Smith shares all the skills you need to get through life's ups and downs. Filled with secrets from a therapist's toolkit, this is a must-have handbook for optimising your mental health. Dr Julie's simple but expert advice and powerful coping techniques will help you stay resilient no matter what life throws your way. Written in short, bite-sized entries, you can turn straight to the section you need depending on the challenge you're facing - and immediately find the appropriate tools to help with . . . - Managing anxiety - Dealing with criticism - Battling low mood - Building self-confidence - Finding motivation - Learning to forgive yourself This book tackles the everyday issues that affect us all and offers easy, practical solutions that might just change your life. ________ 'Sound wisdom, easy to gulp down. I'm sure this book is already helping lots of people. Great work, Dr Julie' Matt Haig, bestselling author of Reasons To Stay Alive 'I'm blown away by her ability to communicate difficult ideas with ease, simplicity and practicality. Amazing. Go and buy it now!' Jay Shetty 'It's real, it's authentic . . . Very practical and very, very helpful' Lorraine Kelly 'Relatable, real and easy to digest . . . As if your wise best friend is chatting to you. An essential mental-health bible for adults and teenagers' YOU Magazine, Daily Mail 'If you want to feel like you have a therapist sitting across from you, empowering you with how to be your best self, this book is for you!' Nicole LePera, New York Times bestselling author of How to Do the Work Sunday Times bestseller, June 2024 Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? has sold over one million copies across all formats, The Bookseller, January 2024 |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Healthy Anger Bernard Golden, 2006 Golden draws upon more than 20 years of experience as a psychologist and teacher to offer specific, practical strategies for helping children and teens manage their anger constructively. He stresses that anger, when properly understood, tells more about wants and needs than about the person or situation that has caused the anger. 22 illustrations. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Bouncing Back from Rejection Leslie Becker-Phelps, 2019-12-01 Go beyond your fear of rejection to develop confidence, compassionate self-awareness, and resilience! Do you have a fear of rejection? If so, you aren’t alone. But if you have difficulty bouncing back after rejection, experience intense pain as a result, or if the fear of rejection is so crippling that it interferes with your everyday life, it’s time to make a change. This groundbreaking guide can help. With this book, you’ll learn why you fear rejection by gaining an understanding of your unique attachment style. Secure attachment is defined as a feeling of being protected and well-cared for. People who experience secure attachment as young children are more likely to be happy, healthy, and resilient adults. On the other hand, insecurely attached people are less likely to cope well with rejection, and may have trouble “bouncing back” after difficult experiences. Once you understand how your attachment style has informed your fears, you can begin the work needed to overcome them! Using the theory of attachment, and the five domains of awareness: Sensations, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mentalizing (STEAM), you’ll learn to relate to yourself and to others in more positive ways, even when difficult situations arise. So, whether you experience rejection in a romantic relationship, at work, or with friends, you’ll have the resilience needed to recover quickly and focus on what makes you special and unique. This isn’t a book that promises to protect you from future rejection. Unfortunately, rejection happens to everyone and is a normal part of life. But you will learn skills to handle this rejection and come to see it as less scary. With this view, you’ll gain confidence, self-awareness, and the resilience needed to bounce back, even when life throws you a curveball. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology Scott O. Lilienfeld, Steven Jay Lynn, John Ruscio, Barry L. Beyerstein, 2011-09-15 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology uses popular myths as a vehicle for helping students and laypersons to distinguish science from pseudoscience. Uses common myths as a vehicle for exploring how to distinguish factual from fictional claims in popular psychology Explores topics that readers will relate to, but often misunderstand, such as 'opposites attract', 'people use only 10% of their brains', and 'handwriting reveals your personality' Provides a 'mythbusting kit' for evaluating folk psychology claims in everyday life Teaches essential critical thinking skills through detailed discussions of each myth Includes over 200 additional psychological myths for readers to explore Contains an Appendix of useful Web Sites for examining psychological myths Features a postscript of remarkable psychological findings that sound like myths but that are true Engaging and accessible writing style that appeals to students and lay readers alike |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Marital Conflict and Children E. Mark Cummings, Patrick T. Davies, 2011-09-01 From leading researchers, this book presents important advances in understanding how growing up in a discordant family affects child adjustment, the factors that make certain children more vulnerable than others, and what can be done to help. It is a state-of-the-science follow-up to the authors' seminal earlier work, Children and Marital Conflict: The Impact of Family Dispute and Resolution. The volume presents a new conceptual framework that draws on current knowledge about family processes; parenting; attachment; and children's emotional, physiological, cognitive, and behavioral development. Innovative research methods are explained and promising directions for clinical practice with children and families are discussed. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Dare to Lead Brené Brown, 2018-10-11 In her #1 NYT bestsellers, Brené Brown taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers and culture shifters, she’s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status and power over people. Leaders are people who hold themselves accountable for recognising the potential in people and ideas, and developing that potential. This is a book for everyone who is ready to choose courage over comfort, make a difference and lead. When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it and work to align authority and accountability. We don't avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into the vulnerability that’s necessary to do good work. But daring leadership in a culture that's defined by scarcity, fear and uncertainty requires building courage skills, which are uniquely human. The irony is that we're choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the same time we're scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines can't do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection and courage to start. Brené Brown spent the past two decades researching the emotions that give meaning to our lives. Over the past seven years, she found that leaders in organisations ranging from small entrepreneurial start-ups and family-owned businesses to non-profits, civic organisations and Fortune 50 companies, are asking the same questions: How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders? And, how do you embed the value of courage in your culture? Dare to Lead answers these questions and gives us actionable strategies and real examples from her new research-based, courage-building programme. Brené writes, ‘One of the most important findings of my career is that courage can be taught, developed and measured. Courage is a collection of four skill sets supported by twenty-eight behaviours. All it requires is a commitment to doing bold work, having tough conversations and showing up with our whole hearts. Easy? No. Choosing courage over comfort is not easy. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and work. It's why we're here.’ |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Parenting Without Power Struggles Susan Stiffelman, 2012-03-13 A guide for busy parents on how to promote harmony in a family shares insights into developmental stages in children while outlining parenting strategies that promote cooperative behaviors without the use of threats or bribes. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Happier Tal Ben-Shahar, 2007-05-25 Can YouLearn to BeHappy? YES . . . according to the teacher of HarvardUniversity’s most popular and life-changingcourse. One out of every five Harvard studentshas lined up to hear Tal Ben-Shahar’sinsightful and inspiring lectures on thatever-elusive state: HAPPINESS. HOW? Grounded in the revolutionary “positive psychology” movement,Ben-Shahar ingeniously combines scientific studies, scholarly research, self-help advice, and spiritual enlightenment. He weaves them together into a set of principles that you can apply to your daily life. Once you open your heart and mind to Happier ’s thoughts, you will feel more fulfilled, more connected . . . and, yes, HAPPIER. “Dr. Ben-Shahar, one of the most popular teachers in Harvard’s recent history, has written a personal, informed, and highly enjoyable primer on how to become happier. It would be wise to take his advice.” --Ellen J. Langer, author of Mindfulness and On Becoming an Artist “This fine book shimmers with a rare brand of good sense that is imbedded in scientific knowledge about how to increase happiness. It is easy to see how this is the backbone of the most popular course at Harvard today. --Martin E. P. Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Liking the Child You Love Jeffrey Bernstein, 2009-06-09 How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Thinking in Bets Annie Duke, 2019-05-07 A Wall Street Journal bestseller, now in paperback. Poker champion turned decision strategist Annie Duke teaches you how to get comfortable with uncertainty and make better decisions. Even the best decision doesn't yield the best outcome every time. There's always an element of luck that you can't control, and there's always information hidden from view. So the key to long-term success (and avoiding worrying yourself to death) is to think in bets: How sure am I? What are the possible ways things could turn out? What decision has the highest odds of success? Did I land in the unlucky 10% on the strategy that works 90% of the time? Or is my success attributable to dumb luck rather than great decision making? Annie Duke, a former World Series of Poker champion turned consultant, draws on examples from business, sports, politics, and (of course) poker to share tools anyone can use to embrace uncertainty and make better decisions. For most people, it's difficult to say I'm not sure in a world that values and, even, rewards the appearance of certainty. But professional poker players are comfortable with the fact that great decisions don't always lead to great outcomes, and bad decisions don't always lead to bad outcomes. By shifting your thinking from a need for certainty to a goal of accurately assessing what you know and what you don't, you'll be less vulnerable to reactive emotions, knee-jerk biases, and destructive habits in your decision making. You'll become more confident, calm, compassionate, and successful in the long run. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) Brené Brown, 2007-02-01 Researcher, thought leader, and New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown offers a liberating study on the importance of our imperfections—both to our relationships and to our own sense of self The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we’re supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is the leading authority on the power of vulnerability, and has inspired thousands through her top-selling books Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and The Gifts of Imperfection, her wildly popular TEDx talks, and a PBS special. Based on seven years of her ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together. Brown writes, “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection—the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.” |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Riveted: The Science of Why Jokes Make Us Laugh, Movies Make Us Cry, and Religion Makes Us Feel One with the Universe Jim Davies, 2014-08-05 Why do some things pass under the radar of our attention, but other things capture our interest? Why do some religions catch on and others fade away? What makes a story, a movie, or a book riveting? Why do some people keep watching the news even though it makes them anxious? The past 20 years have seen a remarkable flourishing of scientific research into exactly these kinds of questions. Professor Jim Davies' fascinating and highly accessible book, Riveted, reveals the evolutionary underpinnings of why we find things compelling, from art to religion and from sports to superstition. Compelling things fit our minds like keys in the ignition, turning us on and keeping us running, and yet we are often unaware of what makes these keys fit. What we like and don't like is almost always determined by subconscious forces, and when we try to consciously predict our own preferences we're often wrong. In one study of speed dating, people were asked what kinds of partners they found attractive. When the results came back, the participants' answers before the exercise had no correlation with who they actually found attractive in person! We are beginning to understand just how much the brain makes our decisions for us: we are rewarded with a rush of pleasure when we detect patterns, as the brain thinks we've discovered something significant; the mind urges us to linger on the news channel or rubberneck an accident in case it might pick up important survival information; it even pushes us to pick up People magazine in order to find out about changes in the social structure.Drawing on work from philosophy, anthropology, religious studies, psychology, economics, computer science, and biology, Davies offers a comprehensive explanation to show that in spite of the differences between the many things that we find compelling, they have similar effects on our minds and brains. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: The Scapegoat René Girard, 1986-07-01 Widely regarded as one of the most profound critics of our time, René Girard has pursued a powerful line of inquiry across the fields of the humanities and the social sciences. His theories, which the French press has termed l'hypothèse girardienne, have sparked interdisciplinary, even international, controversy. In The Scapegoat, Girard applies his approach to texts of persecution, documents that recount phenomena of collective violence from the standpoint of the persecutor—documents such as the medieval poet Guillaume de Machaut's Judgement of the King of Navarre, which blames the Jews for the Black Death and describes their mass murder. Girard compares persecution texts with myths, most notably with the myth of Oedipus, and finds strikingly similar themes and structures. Could myths regularly conceal texts of persecution? Girard's answers lies in a study of the Christian Passion, which represents the same central event, the same collective violence, found in all mythology, but which is read from the point of view of the innocent victim. The Passion text provides the model interpretation that has enabled Western culture to demystify its own violence—a demystification Girard now extends to mythology. Underlying Girard's daring textual hypothesis is a powerful theory of history and culture. Christ's rejection of all guilt breaks the mythic cycle of violence and the sacred. The scapegoat becomes the Lamb of God; the foolish genesis of blood-stained idols and the false gods of superstition, politics, and ideologies are revealed. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: The Gaslight Effect Dr. Robin Stern, 2007-05-01 In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you'll avoid gaslighting relationship. Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time. Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back, you wonder if your mother is right and figure that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism. If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. Are you being gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs: 1) Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse? 2) When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world? 3) Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar? 4) Do you have trouble making simple decisions and constantly second guess yourself? 5) Do you frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to your family and friends? 6) Do you feel hopeless and joyless? |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Better By Mistake Alina Tugend, 2011-03-17 New York Times columnist Alina Tugend delivers an eye-opening big idea: Embracing mistakes can make us smarter, healthier, and happier in every facet of our lives. In this persuasive book, journalist Alina Tugend examines the delicate tension between what we’re told—we must make mistakes in order to learn—and the reality—we often get punished for them. She shows us that mistakes are everywhere, and when we acknowledge and identify them correctly, we can improve not only ourselves, but our families, our work, and the world around us as well. Bold and dynamic, insightful and provocative, Better by Mistake turns our cultural wisdom on its head to illustrate the downside of striving for perfection and the rewards of acknowledging and accepting mistakes and embracing the imperfection in all of us. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Breathing Room Elayne Savage, 2016-08-23 Is resentment eating away at your relationship? Are you tired of hurt feelings and misunderstandings? Would you like to rebuild connection and intimacy? Breathing Room provides practical tips to improve all relationships: --Balance your needs --Improve communication, teamwork, and trust --Bounce back from disappointments, hurt, and differences Breathing Room gives you the tools to take your relationship skills to a new level |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Running on Empty No More Jonice Webb, 2017-11-07 “Opens doors to richer, more connected relationships by naming the elephant in the room ‘Childhood Emotional Neglect’” (Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD, authors of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want). Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. “Filled with examples of well-meaning people struggling in their relationships, Jonice Webb not only illustrates what’s missing between adults and their parents, husbands, and their wives, and parents and their children; she also explains exactly what to do about it.” —Terry Real, internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author, Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times “You will find practical solutions for everyday life to heal yourself and your relationships. This is a terrific new resource that I will be recommending to many clients now and in the future!” —Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Be the Dad She Needs You to Be Kevin Leman, 2014-05-20 From the New York Times best-selling author of Have a New Kid by Friday comes a call to dads to step up to the plate and become the loving, actively engaged father that a daughter needs for life and relational success. The relationship that matters most to your daughter isn't always the one with her mother—sometimes it's the one with you, Dad. Her self-esteem, choices, behavior, character, and even her ideas about or choice of a marriage partner are all directly tied to you, as the most important representative to her of the male species. In Be the Dad She Needs You to Be Dr. Kevin Leman—internationally-known psychologist, New York Times best-selling author, and father of four daughters—will show you not only how to get the fathering job done and done well, but also how to: Make each daughter feel unique, special, and valued. Discipline the right way . . . when it's needed. Talk turkey about what guys are really thinking. Keep the critical eye at bay. Wave the truce flag when females turn your family room into a battleground. Set your daughter up for life and relational success. With some effort on your part, you can gain the kind of lasting relationship you dream of with your daughter—one based on mutual love and respect. The simple yet profound suggestions in this book will transform you into the kind of man your daughter needs . . . for a lifetime. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: What Is Psychotherapy? The School of Life, 2018 An in-depth look at a much misunderstood practice, offering a fresh viewpoint on how this science can be a universally effective route to our better selves. |
| blaming others for your mistakes psychology: Psychopaths and Love Adelyn Birch, 2015-12-28 Psychopaths aren't capable of love. Find out what happens when they target someone who is, in this insightful and practical book by a woman who was a victim. When we're imagining falling in love none of us thinks that we might fall for a psychopath. We don't even know it's a possibility. Most victims say they believed they had met their soul mate. But as the psychopath gains power and control, what seemed like heaven becomes an ever-worsening emotional hell. Don't let it happen to you. If it already has, don't let it happen again. This book -- which contains the best material from the author's popular blog PsychopathsandLove.com -- will help you gain a clearer understanding of these harmful pathological relationships. Learn what a psychopath is and how to possibly spot one if you're being pursued. Find out what makes you vulnerable. Learn how to tell if you're being manipulated. Finally, get ideas about healing afterward and for preventing it from happening again -- or for the first time. I wish I could have read this half year ago. Thanks a million. Liu I cannot tell you how much this has helped me today. I cannot get anything done because I can't stop reading! My whole life has been a mess because of these men. My eyes are finally opened - maybe a bit late, but still opened. SuckerNoMore Thank you for making me feel sane again. Tom I wish I had read this years ago; it would have saved me money, heartbreak and pain. I met a one eight years ago and I believed I was with the man of my dreams. It's been a nightmare. I often wondered how I got caught up in this crap but reading about it has open my eyes. Michelle I truly believe this info saved my life! I thank God I found it and I thank God you are eloquent enough to cut right thru to all the things I have been experiencing with this monster but was never able to verbalize! it felt like you were speaking directly to me! Thank you again for all the incredibly insightful info. Duped I have no words but thank you so very much! Anthony After countless sessions with a therapist this makes more simplistic sense of what I had been going through in marriage. Very insightful and I wish the readers acknowledged. Wellness. Eric I just want you to know what a valuable service you've provided by creating this site. I stumbled upon it the other day while doing some research on psychopathy in an attempt to understand how the individual I was involved with could do all the things he did. It was such a relief to realize, after reading several of your posts, that this monster who had me believing he was one in a million is actually just one OF a million... psychopaths. He's no more than a common, predictable set of symptoms and patterns. He fits the mold perfectly. I understand better than ever now that none of this was my fault; that he targeted me; and that the mental anguish he put me through was something I could not have resisted if I tried... because I could never be someone who thinks the way he does. Your information helped me realize that fully and take that last step of discarding any last little attempt to reconcile the unthinkable. L.B. Thank you for a brilliant and concise definition of a psychopath. This information is the best I have seen on this topic...I now know I am not crazy. Thank you. |
BLAMING | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
BLAMING definition: 1. present participle of blame 2. to say or think that someone or something did something wrong or…. Learn more.
BLAME Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
The meaning of BLAME is to find fault with : censure.
Blaming - definition of blaming by The Free Dictionary
Blaming is the act of assigning responsibility for something that has gone wrong to a particular person.
Blame - Wikipedia
Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, or making negative statements about an individual or group that their actions or inaction are socially or morally irresponsible, the …
BLAMING Synonyms: 82 Similar and Opposite Words - Merriam-Webster
Synonyms for BLAMING: criticizing, condemning, faulting, denouncing, knocking, attacking, slamming, scolding; Antonyms of BLAMING: praising, extolling, approving, recommending, …
BLAME | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
The member state concerned cannot evade its responsibility by blaming private actors or sub-national public authorities.
58 Synonyms & Antonyms for BLAMING - Thesaurus.com
Find 58 different ways to say BLAMING, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com.
BLAMING definition in American English - Collins Online Dictionary
BLAMING definition: responsibility for something that is wrong or deserving censure ; culpability | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples in American English
blaming - WordReference.com Dictionary of English
To blame is to hold accountable for, and disapprove because of, some error, mistake, omission, neglect, or the like: Whom do you blame for the disaster? The verb censure differs from the …
Blame Definition & Meaning - YourDictionary
Blame definition: To consider responsible for a misdeed, failure, or undesirable outcome.
BLAMING | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
BLAMING definition: 1. present participle of blame 2. to say or think that someone or something did something wrong or…. Learn more.
BLAME Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
The meaning of BLAME is to find fault with : censure.
Blaming - definition of blaming by The Free Dictionary
Blaming is the act of assigning responsibility for something that has gone wrong to a particular person.
Blame - Wikipedia
Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, or making negative statements about an individual or group that their actions or inaction are socially or morally irresponsible, the …
BLAMING Synonyms: 82 Similar and Opposite Words - Merriam-Webster
Synonyms for BLAMING: criticizing, condemning, faulting, denouncing, knocking, attacking, slamming, scolding; Antonyms of BLAMING: praising, extolling, approving, recommending, …
BLAME | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
The member state concerned cannot evade its responsibility by blaming private actors or sub-national public authorities.
58 Synonyms & Antonyms for BLAMING - Thesaurus.com
Find 58 different ways to say BLAMING, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com.
BLAMING definition in American English - Collins Online Dictionary
BLAMING definition: responsibility for something that is wrong or deserving censure ; culpability | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples in American English
blaming - WordReference.com Dictionary of English
To blame is to hold accountable for, and disapprove because of, some error, mistake, omission, neglect, or the like: Whom do you blame for the disaster? The verb censure differs from the …
Blame Definition & Meaning - YourDictionary
Blame definition: To consider responsible for a misdeed, failure, or undesirable outcome.
