Advertisement
comparing yourself to others psychology: Envy Up, Scorn Down Susan T. Fiske, 2011-04-21 An insightful examination of why we compare ourselves to those above and below us. The United States was founded on the principle of equal opportunity for all, and this ethos continues to inform the nation's collective identity. In reality, however, absolute equality is elusive. The gap between rich and poor has widened in recent decades, and the United States has the highest level of economic inequality of any developed country. Social class and other differences in status reverberate throughout American life, and prejudice based on another's perceived status persists among individuals and groups. In Envy Up, Scorn Down, noted social psychologist Susan Fiske examines the psychological underpinnings of interpersonal and intergroup comparisons, exploring why we compare ourselves to those both above and below us and analyzing the social consequences of such comparisons in day-to-day life. What motivates individuals, groups, and cultures to envy the status of some and scorn the status of others? Who experiences envy and scorn most? Envy Up, Scorn Down marshals a wealth of recent psychological studies as well as findings based on years of Fiske's own research to address such questions. She shows that both envy and scorn have distinctive biological, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral characteristics. And though we are all wired for comparison, some individuals are more vulnerable to these motives than others. Dominant personalities, for example, express envy toward high-status groups such as the wealthy and well-educated, and insecurity can lead others to scorn those perceived to have lower status, such as women, minorities, or the disabled. Fiske shows that one's race or ethnicity, gender, and education all correlate with perceived status. Regardless of whether one is accorded higher or lower status, however, all groups rank their members, and all societies rank the various groups within them. We rate each group as either friend or foe, able or unable, and accordingly assign them the traits of warmth or competence. The majority of groups in the United States are ranked either warm or competent but not both, with extreme exceptions: the homeless or the very poor are considered neither warm nor competent. Societies across the globe view older people as warm but incompetent. Conversely, the very rich are generally considered cold but highly competent. Envy Up, Scorn Down explores the nuances of status hierarchies and their consequences and shows that such prejudice in its most virulent form dehumanizes and can lead to devastating outcomes—from the scornful neglect of the homeless to the envious anger historically directed at Tutsis in Rwanda or Jews in Europe. Individuals, groups, and even cultures will always make comparisons between and among themselves. Envy Up, Scorn Down is an accessible and insightful examination of drives we all share and the prejudice that can accompany comparison. The book deftly shows that understanding envy and scorn—and seeking to mitigate their effects—can prove invaluable to our lives, our relationships, and our society. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Splitopia Wendy Paris, 2016-03-15 Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a “practical and reassuring guide to parting well.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project Engaging and revolutionary, filled with wit, searing honesty, and intimate interviews, Splitopia is a call for a saner, more civil kind of divorce. As Paris reveals, divorce has improved dramatically in recent decades due to changes in laws and family structures, advances in psychology and child development, and a new understanding of the importance of the father. Positive psychology expert and author of Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar, writes that Paris’s “personal insights, stories, and research” create “a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce.” Reading this book can be the difference between an expensive, ugly battle and a decent divorce, between children sucked under by conflict or happy, healthy kids. This is “a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After—for everyone” (Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time). |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Friend and Foe Adam Galinsky, Maurice Schweitzer, 2016-05-19 Is it in our best interest to compete or to cooperate? Some have argued that humans are fundamentally competitive and that pursuing our self-interest is the best way to get ahead. Others believe that we are hard-wired to cooperate and are most successful when we collaborate with others. In Friend and Foe, leading psychologists Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer draw on original, cutting-edge research to explain why this debate misses the mark. They argue that it is only by learning how to strike the right balance between competition and cooperation that we can improve long-term relationships and maximise success in work and life. Galinsky and Schweitzer show how holding these two forces in the right balance can enable us to turn weaknesses into strengths, to recognise deception and build trust, and to improve our powers of negotiation without alienating our counterparts. Along the way, they also offer answers to a number of perplexing puzzles, from how too much talent can undermine a team's success, to why ending an auction at 2am can get you the best outcome, to when acting less competently can help you gain status. This book is a guide for better navigating your social world by learning when to cooperate as a friend and when to compete as a foe u and how to be better at both. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Great Mental Models, Volume 1 Shane Parrish, Rhiannon Beaubien, 2024-10-15 Discover the essential thinking tools you’ve been missing with The Great Mental Models series by Shane Parrish, New York Times bestselling author and the mind behind the acclaimed Farnam Street blog and “The Knowledge Project” podcast. This first book in the series is your guide to learning the crucial thinking tools nobody ever taught you. Time and time again, great thinkers such as Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett have credited their success to mental models–representations of how something works that can scale onto other fields. Mastering a small number of mental models enables you to rapidly grasp new information, identify patterns others miss, and avoid the common mistakes that hold people back. The Great Mental Models: Volume 1, General Thinking Concepts shows you how making a few tiny changes in the way you think can deliver big results. Drawing on examples from history, business, art, and science, this book details nine of the most versatile, all-purpose mental models you can use right away to improve your decision making and productivity. This book will teach you how to: Avoid blind spots when looking at problems. Find non-obvious solutions. Anticipate and achieve desired outcomes. Play to your strengths, avoid your weaknesses, … and more. The Great Mental Models series demystifies once elusive concepts and illuminates rich knowledge that traditional education overlooks. This series is the most comprehensive and accessible guide on using mental models to better understand our world, solve problems, and gain an advantage. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Comparisonitis Melissa Ambrosini, 2021-05-11 Multiple bestselling author Melissa Ambrosini (Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, PurposeFULL) and host of the #1 podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show puts the condition of Comparisonitis under the microscope, unpacking the symptoms, and offering practical tips you can start using immediately to break the cycle of comparison, free up mental bandwidth, and live life on your own terms. When you cure Comparisonitis, you will… • Be free to live your life for you (no one else) • Feel peace from within • Experience genuine happiness • Truly appreciate your body and life • Free up SO much mental bandwidth for things you LOVE • Quit beating yourself up • Have more energy to go after the things that truly matter to you • Experience a radical shift towards authenticity • Be a better friend, partner, parent, family member, colleague, human • Free yourself from expectations • Unleash the courage to go after your dreams • Unstifle your creativity • Feel more liberated than you've ever felt in your life • And much more It creeps up on you without warning—perhaps while chatting with a friend, scrolling through social media, or even just while walking down the street. All it takes is the hint of someone doing or having something you perceive as better than you, and it hits. A feeling takes over—intense, blinding, gutting. Your brain starts spinning with toxic thoughts about yourself (or others), and you're left feeling ashamed, guilty, and even worthless. It's called comparisonitis. And if you've suffered from it, you're NOT alone. Comparisonitis is a contagious, socially transmitted condition that occurs when you compare yourself to others so frequently and fiercely that you're left paralyzed, with your confidence in tatters and your self-worth plummeting. It may sound trivial, but this affliction can have serious adverse effects on our mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, overthinking, and regret. To make matters worse, our comparison culture is only expanding. Thanks to social media, we have more opportunities to compare ourselves than ever before, and even kids are falling into the trap. Described as a self-help guru by Elle magazine, Melissa has experienced the effects of comparisonitis first hand, having worked extensively in industries like acting, modeling and dancing where comparison culture is not only rampant but openly encouraged. Melissa knows all too well how comparisonitis is infecting our minds and hurting our hearts, and in this book, she'll help you heal from this disease, liberate your headspace, and raise your self-worth so radically that you'll never let comparison rob you of your joy and happiness again. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: As You Are Dept Ltd, 2018-10-04 As You Are is shameless celebration of our uniqueness. Finding and fixing our inner problems often isn't inviting. There is another way to be a happier lighter being. Flip the focus on to finding out what energises you, makes you tick and puts you in that place where you feel I was born to here. Hear stories and discover habits that tempt you towards playing to your personal strengths every day. Chapters include: As You Are Character Strengths Thinking Tricks Laughter Lines Fuel My Way It's Me As They Are |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Contentment Journal Rachel Cruze, 2019-04-02 Journal your way to contentment in just 90 days. #1 New York Times best-selling author Rachel Cruze guides you on a 90-day journey toward contentment--one where you actually love your life and not someone else's. Let's be honest: We've all compared ourselves to others. You scroll through social media and see someone's latest vacation and think, Must be nice... Just like that, you feel like your life isn't good enough. Rachel knows the struggle is real because she's experienced the same thing. So, she created a 90-day journal to help you stop comparing your life to others and be happier than you've ever been. The Contentment Journal is divided into 30-day increments: The first 30 days focus on gratitude - where you'll recognize the blessings in your life. The next 30 days focus on humility - where you'll think of others more and of yourself a little less. The last 30 days focus on contentment - where you'll be happy for others and not want what they have. Study after study backs up that your relationships, health, decision-making skills, kindness, and even sleep can get better with gratitude. The Contentment Journal will help you grow and change in ways you can't yet imagine. Through personal stories and daily writing prompts, Rachel will guide you day by day, week by week to feeling more thankful. Motivational quotes and reflection pages will encourage you to keep going! If you give Rachel 5-10 minutes a day for 90 days, she'll help you adjust your whole outlook, so you avoid the comparisons and experience lasting contentment. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) Brené Brown, 2007-02-01 Researcher, thought leader, and New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown offers a liberating study on the importance of our imperfections—both to our relationships and to our own sense of self The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we’re supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is the leading authority on the power of vulnerability, and has inspired thousands through her top-selling books Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and The Gifts of Imperfection, her wildly popular TEDx talks, and a PBS special. Based on seven years of her ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together. Brown writes, “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection—the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.” |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Self-Love Experiment Shannon Kaiser, 2017-08-29 Put a stop to self-sabotage and overcome your fears so that you can gain the confidence you need to reach your goals and become your own best friend. Too many people seem to believe that they are not allowed to put themselves first or go after their own dreams out of fear of being selfish or sacrificing others' needs. The Self-Love Experiment rectifies this problem. Whether you want to achieve weight loss, land your dream job, find your soul mate, or get out of debt, it all comes back to self-love and accepting yourself first. Shannon Kaiser learned the secrets to loving herself, finding purpose, and living a passion-filled life after recovering from eating disorders, drug addictions, corporate burnout, and depression. Shannon walks you through her own personal experiment, a simple plan that compassionately guides you through the process of removing fear-based thoughts, so you can fall in love with life. If you want to change your outcome in life, you have to change your daily habits and perspective. Shannon takes you on this great journey into self-love and true self-acceptance. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: How to Be Yourself Ellen Hendriksen, 2018-03-13 Picking up where Quiet ended, How to Be Yourself is the best book you’ll ever read about how to conquer social anxiety. “This book is also a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self.” —Susan Cain, New York Times, USA Today and nationally bestselling author of Quiet Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you’re introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure. If you get nervous in social situations—meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss—you've probably been told, “Just be yourself!” But that's easier said than done—especially if you're prone to social anxiety. Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and—at long last—exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, Everyone will judge you. Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Beautiful You Rosie Molinary, 2016-12-20 A radical day-by-day guide to redefining beauty and creating lasting self-esteem Every day, American women and girls are besieged by images and messages that suggest their beauty is inadequate, inflicting immeasurable harm upon their confidence and sense of wellbeing. In Beautiful You, author Rosie Molinary encourages women to feel wonderful about themselves -- even when today's media-saturated culture tells them not to. Drawing on tools for heightened self-awareness, creativity, and mind-body connections, Beautiful You incorporates practical techniques into a 365-day action plan that empowers women to embrace a healthy self-image, shore up self-confidence, break undermining habits of self-criticism, and champion their own emotional and physical wellbeing. Modern and meaningful, these doable, enjoyable daily actions encourage women and girls to manifest a healthy outlook on life, to live large, and to love themselves and others. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Identity, Sexuality, and Relationships among Emerging Adults in the Digital Age Wright, Michelle F., 2016-12-12 Technology has become ubiquitous to everyday life in modern society, and particularly in various social aspects. This has significant impacts on adolescents as they develop and make their way into adulthood. Identity, Sexuality, and Relationships among Emerging Adults in the Digital Age is a pivotal reference source for the latest research on the role of digital media and its impact on identity development, behavioral formations, and the inter-personal relationships of young adults. Featuring extensive coverage across a range of relevant perspectives and topics, such as self-comparison, virtual communities, and online dating, this book is ideally designed for academicians, researchers and professionals seeking current research on the use and impact of online social forums among progressing adults. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Dr. Judith Orloff's Guide to Intuitive Healing Judith Orloff, 2012-05-09 Through 5 practical steps, Dr. Judith Orloff's guide will show you how to recapture, nurture, and affirm your intuitive ability, so that you can utilize it to help heal yourself. In her groundbreaking book, Dr. Orloff leads readers to the heart of a radical revolution in health care: the union of medicine and intuition, of body, mind, and soul. Intuition plays an indispensable role in self-diagnosis, pain control, immune response, and recovery from acute and chronic illness; it can lead you to breakthroughs in anxiety, panic, depression, and other emotional blockages, even when traditional psychotherapy has failed. Intuition also offers insights into the use of medications and the selection of the right healer for your needs. Further, it is integral for sexual healing, since sexuality is a potent connector and energy source for clarifying spirituality and improving vitality. With Dr. Orloff's five practical steps, you'll learn to clarify your beliefs, listen to your body's messages, access inner guidance, sense subtle energy, and interpret your dreams. Practicing the steps, you'll recognize early warning signals and act on them to help prevent illness. You'll have skills to uncover important information from meditation and remote viewing (a way of intuitively tuning in) to make sense of confusing signals. The insights you'll gain from these tools will lend reason, compassion, and meaning to events such as illness, loss, or despair. Following Dr. Orloff's simple, clear instructions, illustrated with examples from her own experience and psychiatric practice, you'll recapture a sense of vision that will bring vibrance to all that you do. Our intuition can open us up to our spirituality and show us how to be more healthy and whole, writes Dr. Orloff. If you're in good health, you'll want to know about intuition because it can help you stay well and recognize messages that prevent illness. If you or your loved ones need healing, you'll also want intuition to show the way. Written with abundant warmth, humor, and compassion, this guide is your companion to a healthier, more fulfilling life. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Handbook of Social Comparison Jerry Suls, Ladd Wheeler, 2013-11-11 Comparison of objects, events, and situations is integral to judgment; comparisons of the self with other people comprise one of the building blocks of human conduct and experience. After four decades of research, the topic of social comparison is more popular than ever. In this timely handbook a distinguished roster of researchers and theoreticians describe where the field has been since its development in the early 1950s and where it is likely to go next. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Fifth Agreement Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz, Janet Mills, 2010-01-18 In The Four Agreements, a New York Times bestseller for over 7 years, Ruiz revealed how the process of our education, or “domestication,” can make us forget the wisdom we were born with. Throughout our lives, we make many agreements that go against ourselves and create needless suffering. The Four Agreements help us to break these self-limiting agreements and replace them with agreements that bring us personal freedom, happiness, and love. In The Fifth Agreement, don Miguel Ruiz joins his son don Jose Ruiz to offer a fresh perspective on The Four Agreements, and a powerful new agreement for transforming our lives into our personal heaven. The Fifth Agreement takes us to a deeper level of awareness of the power of the Self, and returns us to the authenticity we were born with. In this compelling sequel to the book that has changed the lives of millions of people around the world, we are reminded of the greatest gift we can give ourselves: the freedom to be who we really are. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Invisible Influence Jonah Berger, 2017-06-20 You think that your choices and behaviors are driven by your individual, personal tastes, and opinions. Our own personal thoughts and opinions is patently obvious. Right? Wrong. Other people's behavior has a huge influence on everything we do, from the mundane to the momentous. Berger integrates research and thinking from business, psychology, and social science to focus on the subtle, invisible influences behind our choices as individuals |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Psychology of Quality of Life M. Joseph Sirgy, 2002-08-31 This book summarizes much of the research in subjective well-being and integrates this research into a parsimonious theory. The theory posits that much of the research on subjective well-being can be construed in terms of the personal strategies that people use to `optimize' their happiness and life satisfaction. These strategies include bottom-up spillover, top-down spillover, horizontal spillover, balance, re-evaluation, goal selection, and goal implementation. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Life Without Envy Camille DeAngelis, 2016-09-27 From one artist to another, a helpful guide and a meditation on the nature of the ego and its toxic effects on the creative process Life Without Envy by Camille DeAngelis is a game-changer for artists of all stripes: a practical guide for navigating the feelings of jealousy, frustration, and inadequacy we all experience to create a happy life regardless of how your career is (or isn’t) going. In these pages you'll find strategies for escaping the negative feedback loop you get stuck in whenever you compare yourself to your fellow artists. You'll begin to resolve your hunger for recognition, shifting your mindset from “proving yourself” to making a contribution and becoming part of a supportive creative community. Best of all, you'll come to understand that your worth—as an artist and a human being—has nothing to do with how your work is received in the wider world. Life Without Envy offers a blueprint for real and lasting contentment no matter what setback you’re weathering in your creative life. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Playborhood Mike Lanza, 2012-04 In Playborhood: Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Place for Play, you'll find inspiring stories of innovative communities throughout the US and Canada that have successfully created vibrant neighborhood play lives for their children. You'll also get a comprehensive set of step-by-step solutions to change your family and neighborhood cultures, so that your kids can spend less time in front of screens and in adult-supervised activities, and more time engaging in joyful neighborhood play. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Comparison Cure Lucy Sheridan, 2019-12-26 'We know it's silly and harmful to compare ourselves to others, but that doesn't mean we know how to stop doing it. Luckily, with her brilliant book The Comparison Cure, Lucy Sheridan gives us a road map to reclaiming ourselves.' Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k The 'Queen of self-worth' Adwoa Aboah ___________ Lucy Sheridan, the world's first and only comparison coach, has helped thousands of people go from compare and despair to #comparisonfree, and now she has condensed all of that liberating knowledge into The Comparison Cure. With a three-step tried and tested methodology to help you improve your self-worth and self-confidence (#1 recognise the symptoms; #2 start practising the remedies; and #3 keep your good new habits going), you will soon be able to let go of procrastination and start living a comparison-free life. Packed full of tips, examples and exercises to help you take back control of who you are and what you want, this positive and empowering book is the timely and necessary antidote we all need to the toxic comparison culture we're living in. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Self-Compassion Kristin Neff, 2011-07-07 Kristin Neff PhD, is a professor in human development whose 10 years' of research forms the basis of her timely and highly readable book. Self Compassion offers a powerful solution for combating the current malaise of depression, anxiety and self criticism that comes with living in a pressured and competitive culture. Through tried and tested exercises and audio downloads, readers learn the 3 core components that will help replace negative and destructive measures of self worth and success with a kinder and non judgemental approach in order to bring about profound life change and deeper happiness. Self Compassion recognises that we all have weaknesses and limitations, but in accepting this we can discover new ways to achieve improved self confidence, contentment and reach our highest potential. Simply, easily and compassionately. Kristin Neff's expert and practical advice offers a completely new set of personal development tools that will benefit everyone. 'A portable friend to all readers ... who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it's reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others.' Gloria Steinem 'A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world - one person at a time - starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey.' Rosie O'Donnell |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Rewire Your Anxious Brain Catherine M. Pittman, Elizabeth M. Karle, 2015-01-02 Do you ever wonder what is happening inside your brain when you feel anxious, panicked, and worried? In Rewire Your Anxious Brain, psychologist Catherine Pittman and author Elizabeth Karle offer a unique, evidence-based solution to overcoming anxiety based in cutting-edge neuroscience and research. In the book, you will learn how the amygdala and cortex (both important parts of the brain) are essential players in the neuropsychology of anxiety. The amygdala acts as a primal response, and oftentimes, when this part of the brain processes fear, you may not even understand why you are afraid. By comparison, the cortex is the center of “worry.” That is, obsessing, ruminating, and dwelling on things that may or may not happen. In the book, Pittman and Karle make it simple by offering specific examples of how to manage fear by tapping into both of these pathways in the brain. As you read, you’ll gain a greater understanding how anxiety is created in the brain, and as a result, you will feel empowered and motivated to overcome it. The brain is a powerful tool, and the more you work to change the way you respond to fear, the more resilient you will become. Using the practical self-assessments and proven-effective techniques in this book, you will learn to literally “rewire” the brain processes that lie at the root of your fears. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Second Sight Judith Orloff, 2008-12-14 In this compelling self-portrait, psychic and psychiatrist Dr. Judith Orloff, one of the frontier people in health, who was not satisfied with the existing order, the Establishment, and began to push for the expansion of knowledge which the establishment, of course, often rejected and for which it sough to punish them, (The Nation Magazine) draws on her own experience and that of her patients to explore the mysterious and poorly understood realm of the psychic. In riveting detail, she describes how an ignored premonition of a patient's suicide attempt convinced her to embrace her gift and incorporate it into her medical practice--and how using psychic abilities can provide powerful healing. More than simply one woman's journey, this book will also outline effective ways to cultivate natural psychic abilities, including how to--recognize psychic experiences in everyday life--increase clairvoyance--practice psychic exercises--discover psychic empathy--tune into messages the body is sending--record and interpret dreams--and more. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Step Out of Your Story Kim Schneiderman, 2015-06-01 REFRAME YOUR STORY, RECLAIM YOUR LIFE Every day we relate stories about our highs and lows, relationships and jobs, heartaches and joys. But do we ever consider the choices we make about how to tell our story? In this groundbreaking book, Kim Schneiderman shows us that by choosing a version that values life lessons and meaningful personal victories we can redirect our energy and narrative toward our desires and goals. It presents character development workouts and life-affirming, liberating exercises for retelling our stories to find redemptive silver linings and reshape our lives. As both a therapist and a writer, Schneiderman knows the power of story. By employing the storytelling techniques she offers, you’ll learn to view your life as a work in progress and understand big-picture story lines in ways that allow you to easily steer your actions and relationships toward redefined — and realistic — “happy endings.” |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Engineering Happiness Manel Baucells, Rakesh Sarin, 2012-03-12 Manel Baucells and Rakesh Sarin have been conducting ground-breaking research on happiness for more than a decade, and in this book they distill their provocative findings into a lively, accessible guide for a wide audience of readers. Integrating their own research with the latest thinking in the behavioral and social sciences—including management science, psychology, and economics—they offer a new approach to the puzzle of happiness. Woven throughout with wisdom from the world’s religions and literatures, Engineering Happiness has something to offer everyone—regardless of background, profession, or aspiration—who wants to better understand, control, and attain a more joyful life. • Shows how a few major principles can explain how happiness works and why it is so elusive • Demonstrates how the essence of attaining happiness is choice • Explores how to avoid happiness traps • Tells how to recognize happiness triggers in everyday life |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Bring Your Whole Self To Work Mike Robbins, 2018-05-01 In today’s work environment, the lines between our professional and personal lives are blurred more than ever before. Whatever is happening to us outside of our workplace—whether stressful, painful, or joyful—follows us into work as well. We may think we have to keep these realities under wraps and act as if we “have it all together.” But as Mike Robbins explains, we can work better, lead better, and be more engaged and fulfilled if—instead of trying to hide who we are—we show up fully and authentically. Mike, a sought-after motivational speaker and business consultant, has spent more than 15 years researching, writing, and speaking about essential human experiences and high performance in the workplace. His clients have ranged from Google to Citibank, from the U.S. Department of Labor to the San Francisco Giants. From small start-ups in Silicon Valley to family-owned businesses in the Midwest. From what he’s seen and studied over the years, Mike believes that for us to thrive professionally, we must be willing to bring our whole selves to the work that we do. Bringing our whole selves to work means acknowledging that we’re all vulnerable, imperfect human beings doing the best we can. It means having the courage to take risks, speak up, have compassion, ask for help, connect with others in a genuine way, and allow ourselves to be truly seen. In this book, Mike outlines five principles we can use to approach our own work in this spirit of openness and humanity, and to help the people we work with feel safe enough to do the same, so that the teams and organizations we’re a part of can truly succeed. “This book will offer you insights, ideas, and tools to inspire you to bring all of who you are to the work that you do—regardless of where you work, what kind of work you do, and with whom you do it. And, if you’re an owner, leader, or just someone who wants to have influence on those around you—this book will also give you specific techniques for how to build or enhance your team’s culture in such a way that encourages others to bring all of who they are to work.” |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Leadership Gap Lolly Daskal, 2017-05-30 Do people see you as the kind of leader you want to be? Are your strongest leadership qualities getting in the way of your greatness? After decades of advising and inspiring some of the most eminent chief executives in the world, Lolly Daskal has uncovered a startling pattern: within each leader are powerful abilities that are also hidden impediments to greatness. She’s witnessed many highly driven, overachieving leaders rise to prominence fueled by well-honed skill sets, only to falter when the shadow sides of the same skills emerge. Now Daskal reveals her proven system, which leaders at any level can apply to dramatically improve their results. It begins with identifying your distinctive leadership archetype and recognizing its shadow: ■ The Rebel, driven by confidence, becomes the Imposter, plagued by self-doubt. ■ The Explorer, fueled by intuition, becomes the Exploiter, master of manipulation. ■ The Truth Teller, who embraces candor, becomes the Deceiver, who creates suspicion. ■ The Hero, embodying courage, becomes the Bystander, an outright coward. ■ The Inventor, brimming with integrity, becomes the Destroyer, who is morally corrupt. ■ The Navigator, trusts and is trusted, becomes the Fixer, endlessly arrogant. ■ The Knight, for whom loyalty is everything, becomes the Mercenary, who is perpetually self-serving. Using psychology, philosophy, and her own experience, Daskal offers a breakthrough perspective on leadership. She’ll take you inside some of the most cloistered boardrooms, let you in on deeply personal conversations with industry leaders, and introduce you to luminaries who’ve changed the world. Her insights will help you rethink everything you know to become the leader you truly want to be. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Think Like a Stoic , 2021-02-18 |
comparing yourself to others psychology: How Proust Can Change Your Life Alain de Botton, 2012-02-23 ‘What a marvellous book this is . . . de Botton dissects what [Proust] had to say about friendship, reading, looking carefully, paying attention taking your time, being alive and adds his own delicious commentary. The result is an intoxicating as it is wise, amusing as well as stimulating, and presented in so fresh a fashion as to be unique . . . I could not stop, and now much start all over again.’ Brian Masters, Mail on Sunday ‘De Botton not only has a complete understanding of Proust’s life . . . but what is particularly charming about this small, readable book is its tongue-in-cheek benignity, its lightly held erudition and its generous way of lending itself to what is not only the greatest book of the century but also the darkest and the most eccentric’ Edmund White, Observer ‘It contains more human interest and play of fancy than most fiction . . . de Botton, in emphasizing Proust’s healing, advisory aspects, does us the service of rereading him on our behalf, providing of that vast sacred lake a sweet and lucid distillation.’ John Updike, New Yorker ‘De Botton’s little book is so charming, amusing and sensible that it may even itself change your life.’ Allan Massie, Daily Telegraph ‘This engaging book is one of the most entertaining pieces of literary criticism I have read in a long while.’ Sunday Telegraph ‘A very enjoyable book’ Sebastian Faulks |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Choosing My Religion Stephen J. Dubner, 2006-11-07 Choosing My Religion is a luminous memoir, crafted with the eye of a journalist and the art of a novelist by New York Times Magazine writer and editor Stephen J. Dubner. By turns comic and heartbreaking, it tells the story of a family torn apart by religion, sustained by faith, and reunited by truth. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: When I'm 64 National Research Council, Division of Behavioral and Social Sciences and Education, Board on Behavioral, Cognitive, and Sensory Sciences, Committee on Aging Frontiers in Social Psychology, Personality, and Adult Developmental Psychology, 2006-02-13 By 2030 there will be about 70 million people in the United States who are older than 64. Approximately 26 percent of these will be racial and ethnic minorities. Overall, the older population will be more diverse and better educated than their earlier cohorts. The range of late-life outcomes is very dramatic with old age being a significantly different experience for financially secure and well-educated people than for poor and uneducated people. The early mission of behavioral science research focused on identifying problems of older adults, such as isolation, caregiving, and dementia. Today, the field of gerontology is more interdisciplinary. When I'm 64 examines how individual and social behavior play a role in understanding diverse outcomes in old age. It also explores the implications of an aging workforce on the economy. The book recommends that the National Institute on Aging focus its research support in social, personality, and life-span psychology in four areas: motivation and behavioral change; socioemotional influences on decision-making; the influence of social engagement on cognition; and the effects of stereotypes on self and others. When I'm 64 is a useful resource for policymakers, researchers and medical professionals. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Self-Awareness (HBR Emotional Intelligence Series) Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman, Robert Steven Kaplan, Susan David, Tasha Eurich, 2018-11-13 Self-awareness is the bedrock of emotional intelligence that enables you to see your talents, shortcomings, and potential. But you won't be able to achieve true self-awareness with the usual quarterly feedback and self-reflection alone. This book will teach you how to understand your thoughts and emotions, how to persuade your colleagues to share what they really think of you, and why self-awareness will spark more productive and rewarding relationships with your employees and bosses. This volume includes the work of: Daniel Goleman Robert Steven Kaplan Susan David HOW TO BE HUMAN AT WORK. The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Financial Peace Dave Ramsey, 2002-01-01 Dave Ramsey explains those scriptural guidelines for handling money. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, 2013 Helps students understand how culture impacts development in adolescence and emerging adulthood. Grounded in a global cultural perspective (within and outside of the US), this text enriches the discussion with historical context and an interdisciplinary approach, including studies from fields such as anthropology and sociology, in addition to the compelling psychological research on adolescent development. This book also takes into account the period of emerging adulthood (ages 18-25), a term coined by the author, and an area of study for which Arnett is a leading expert. Arnett continues the fifth edition with new and updated studies, both U.S. and international. With Pearson's MyDevelopmentLab Video Series and Powerpoints embedded with video, students can experience a true cross-cultural experience. A better teaching and learning experience This program will provide a better teaching and learning experience-- for you and your students. Here's how: Personalize Learning - The new MyDevelopmentLab delivers proven results in helping students succeed, provides engaging experiences that personalize learning, and comes from a trusted partner with educational expertise and a deep commitment to helping students and instructors achieve their goals. Improve Critical Thinking - Students learn to think critically about the influence of culture on development with pedagogical features such as Culture Focus boxes and Historical Focus boxes. Engage Students - Arnett engages students with cross cultural research and examples throughout. MyVirtualTeen, an interactive simulation, allows students to apply the concepts they are learning to their own virtual teen. Explore Research - Research Focus provides students with a firm grasp of various research methods and helps them see the impact that methods can have on research findings. Support Instructors - This program provides instructors with unbeatable resources, including video embedded PowerPoints and the new MyDevelopmentLab that includes cross-cultural videos and MyVirtualTeen, an interactive simulation that allows you to raise a child from birth to age 18. An easy to use Instructor's Manual, a robust test bank, and an online test generator (MyTest) are also available. All of these materials may be packaged with the text upon request. Note: MyDevelopmentLab does not come automatically packaged with this text. To purchase MyDevelopmentLab, please visit: www.mydevelopmentlab.com or you can purchase a ValuePack of the text + MyDevelopmentlab (at no additional cost): ValuePack ISBN-10: 0205911854/ ValuePack ISBN-13: 9780205911851. Click here for a short walkthrough video on MyVirtualTeen! http://www.youtube.com/playlist'list=PL51B144F17A36FF25&feature=plcp |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Social Self David Bakhurst, Christine Sypnowich, 1995-09-01 Much discussion in recent years has centred on the status of the self, identity and subjectivity in the light of powerful arguments about the social origins of personhood. The Social Self presents many dimensions of the debate, spanning psychology, philosophy, politics and feminist theory, and provides a critical overview of the key themes involved. The internationally renowned contributors examine the senses in which we are `social selves' whose very identities are intimately bound up with the communities and cultures in which we live. Drawing on Wittgenstein, Marx, Foucault, Bakhtin, Gilligan and MacIntyre, among others, the chapters show the diversity of influences that have shaped this exciting and controversial |
comparing yourself to others psychology: Desiderata Max Ehrmann, 1995 With new illustrations on virtually every page and a striking new jacket, this is a Desiderata for the '90s. This classic book of inspiration has sold more than 190,000 copies and continues to give comfort and cheer to new readers year after year. Line drawings. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: I Mammal Loretta Graziano Breuning, 2011 Mammals seek dominance because it stimulates their happy chemicals. An appetite for status develops as naturally as the appetite for food and sex. Status hierarchies emerge spontaneously as each individual strives to meet their needs and avoid harm. You would never think this way in words, but your mammal brain uses neurochemicals instead of words. When you understand the private lives of animals, your neurochemical ups and downs make sense. You have inherited the operating system that helped mammals thrive for millions of years. Nothing is wrong with us. We are mammals. You may say you're against status. But if you filled a room with people who said they were anti-status, a hierarchy would soon form based on how anti-status they are. That's what mammals do. Our neurochemical ups and downs make sense when you look at the private lives of animals. The field notes of a primatologist are eerily similar to the lyrics of a country western song. A biology textbook resembles a soap opera script. The mammal brain cannot put its reactions into words, so the human cortex struggles to make sense of the limbic system it's attached to. We can finally make sense of our hybrid brain thanks to an accumulation of research in animal science and neuroscience. The frustrations of social hierarchies are not caused by our society. We are simply heirs to the brain that helped mammals thrive for two hundred million years. It's not easy being human with a mammalian operating system. But when you understand the neurochemistry of mammals, you can stop focusing on our flaws and simply celebrate how well we do with the mental equipment we've got. Mammals live in groups for protection from predators, but group life can be frustrating. Some herd mates always seem to get the best mating opportunities and foraging spots. The mammal brain evolved to handle this. It releases stress chemicals when a mammal needs to hold back to avoid conflict. And it emits happy chemicals- serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins, when a mammal needs to forge ahead and meet its needs. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Book of Joy Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, 2016-09-22 'I want to wish all of you joy-because there is no better gift. Two spiritual masters, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, share their wisdom in this uplifting book. I promise you, it's the best $26 you can spend.' Oprah Winfrey Nobel Peace Prize Laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu have survived more than fifty years of exile and the soul-crushing violence of oppression. Despite their hardships - or, as they would say, because of them - they are two of the most joyful people on the planet. In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu travelled to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday and to create this book as a gift for others. They looked back on their long lives to answer a single burning question: how do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering? They traded intimate stories, teased each other continually, and shared their spiritual practices. By the end of a week filled with laughter and punctuated with tears, these two global heroes had stared into the abyss and despair of our times and revealed how to live a life brimming with joy. This book offers us a rare opportunity to experience their astonishing and unprecedented week together, from the first embrace to the final goodbye. |
comparing yourself to others psychology: The Consolations of Philosophy Alain de Botton, 2001-03 Alain de Botton pairs six philosophers - Socrates, Epicurus, Seneca, Montaigne, Schopenhauer and Nietzsche - with six everyday problems to which they are able to give the most helpful and fascinating answers. |
Worksheet for Deep Dive | How to Stop Comparing Yourself …
motivations for comparing ourselves to others: 1. Self assessment -- comparison for the purposes of looking at ourselves objectively to see how we stack up. 2. Self enhancement -- comparison …
Comparing Yourself With Others - Whole Athlete
Whether you’re racing, thinking about your cycling, or just out for a ride, you’re likely comparing yourself with other cyclists at times. Is it increasing your motivation and insight? Or is it creating …
Overcoming Self-Doubt - Between Sessions
When you compare yourself to others, you may start believing everyone else has a better life than you – resulting in feeling badly about yourself. Learn to appreciate where you are in life and …
House of Self - Counselling, Psychotherapy & Coaching
Self Comparison Worksheet Rather than using social media to compare yourself to what other people are presenting today, put your phone to one side and compare yourself to who you …
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Arnold Sanow
In my workshops and training sessions on "How to Build Rapport, Relationships and Connect with Others," one of the biggest stumbling blocks that gets in the way of people achieving their …
Why students tend to compare themselves with each other?
Therefore, in this current paper, we discuss how two interpersonal factors, namely mattering and unconditional self-acceptance (USA) play their protective roles against the social comparison …
BEING YOURSELF! Be yourself; everyone else is already …
Avoid comparing yourself to others as you will always find some quality where you think the other person is better Pay attention to your negative thoughts and change them to positive ones
Comparing Yourself to Others
compare yourself to the most successful person you know, you’ll feel like a failure; if you compare yourself to someone who hasn’t achieved anything, you will feel like a success. Neither feeling …
WHY COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS IS UNHELPFUL
comparing two students’ research progress is never an easy or fair process. Progress report Although academia is inherently competi-tive, the difficulties of comparing myself with other …
what “immune” to psychological we can’t have too much of it.
Comparing yourself to others might help your self-esteem, if you in fact compare yourself to people who are less skilled or talented than you are. However, most
“ACCEPTS” Skill - Comparisons - Dialectical Behavior Therapy …
Compare how you are feeling now to a time when you felt different. Think about people coping the same as you or less well than you. Compare yourself to those less fortunate. Watch reality …
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and unhelpful thinking …
lives. If you find you are comparing yourself to someone else – consider what’s a more helpful way of thinking? Emotional thinking: Thinking that the way we feel about something must make …
SELF LOVE - Western Washington University
Think to yourself- would I talk to a friend who was struggling with something the way I am talking to myself about it? COMMON HUMANITY (vs Isolation) • Acknowledging that mistakes, …
Human Perception: A comparative study of how others - DiVA
In the thesis a comparison has been made with people that live together with someone, to see if they perceive themselves as others perceive them. Since the beginning of time mankind has …
Who Does Your Brain Think You Are? The Science of Thinking …
Thinking about others and the self. The mPFC (green) is active when people of all ages think about others (left thought bubble), but for teens, it is also active when they think about …
Silence Your Inner Critic with Compassionate Reframing
Self-compassion means extending kindness to yourself in the face of personal failures, problems, or other disappointments. Silence your inner critic by reframing your negative thoughts with …
From Me to You: Self-Compassion Predicts Acceptance of …
We propose that being self-compassionate can have ben-efits for others via the personal benefits it fosters to the self. More specifically, we hypothesized that self-compassion in one person can …
Comparing yourself to others can have health impacts
(Medical Xpress) -- Comparing yourself to others with the same health problem can influence your physical and emotional health, according to researchers who conducted a qualitative...
Increasing Your Self-Esteem - Between Sessions
It’s easy to feel down about yourself if you’re always comparing yourself to others. This happens a lot on social media, where other people always seem to have everything that you …
Coping with Loneliness - Between Sessions
Avoid comparing yourself to others. It might be hard to stop comparing yourself to others, but remember things are not always what they seem from the outside. For example, on social …
what “immune” to psychological w…
6. Quit comparing yourself to others Comparing yourself to others might help your self-esteem, if you in fact compare yourself to …
Comparing yourself to your …
Department of Psychology, Queen’s University, Kingston, ON. ... C. Y., & Kennedy, K. A. (2008). Doing unto future selves …
How Do Others See You? - Betw…
Do you see yourself as others see you? We all have a certain image we like to project, which may be close to the actual way others …
Social Comparison on Social Media …
compare themselves to others, they tend to expect positive reactions or responses from others when they post content on the …
The Psychology of Encouragement: …
tribute to others and society. When people lose social interest, they need encouragement, especially with regard to engaging …