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| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi, 2011-11-01 From the bestselling author of Why Does He Do That? comes a relationship book that will help you make the decision of whether or not your troubled relationship is worth saving. Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward. If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to: • Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working • Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems • Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority • Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner • Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving • Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Exaholics Lisa Marie Bobby, 2016-02-10 Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should get over it already. But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations Elinor Greenberg, 2016-09-12 Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations demystifies the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. It offers clear and practical advice on how to differentiate and treat clients who have made Borderline, Narcissistic, or Schizoid adaptations. Elinor Greenberg begins with an overview of the topic of personality disorders, reframes these disorders as adaptations, and then explains the treatment interventions that work best for each type of adaptation. Later chapters describe how to do specific interventions that deal with commonly encountered treatment issues such as: such as: How to undo a Narcissistic shame-based self-hating depression, How to judge a Schizoid client's sense of interpersonal safety from their dreams, and How to help Borderline clients reach their goals. Each type of intervention is explained in detail, ample clinical examples are given, as is how and when to utilize the method in the client's treatment. Both beginning therapists and experienced clinicians alike will find this book a useful resource that will expand their understanding and effectiveness with this often challenging group of clients. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Liking the Child You Love Jeffrey Bernstein, 2009-06-09 How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Stand & Watch It Burn Lexie Lea, 2022-02-24 When Elizabeth Maddox is thrown into the corporate world after losing her father she soon realizes the hardest thing about betrayal is that it doesn't always come from your enemies. Secrets are uncovered as she dives deeper into her father's death and immerses herself as the new CEO at Centurion Inc. Her first day on the job reveals the biggest betrayal of all: magic exists. Unsure of who to trust, Elizabeth finds herself developing an unlikely friendship that may just help her finally get some answers. The question is: can they be trusted? She soon learns that each betrayal...begins with trust. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: In Sickness as in Health Barbara Kivowitz, Roanne Weisman, 2013 Something's happened now what do we do? What do I do? What do I really owe my loved one? And how can I even ask such a question? Having exchanged marriage vows or even if they haven't most people expect their partners to support them when a devastating diagnosis is made or an accident occurs. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Betrayal Bond Patrick Carnes, 2019-02-12 Some really great books just keep getting better! For seventeen years The Betrayal Bond has been the primary source for therapists and patients wrestling the effects of emotional pain and harm caused by exploitation from someone they trusted. Divorce, litigation, incest and child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. These are situations and relationships of incredible intensity or importance lend themselves more easily to an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond, Dr. Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships; why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. Dr. Carnes also gives a clear explanation of the bond that compels people to tolerate the intolerable, and for the first time, maps out the brain connection that makes being with hurtful people comparable to 'a drug of choice.' Most importantly, Carnes provides practical steps to identify compulsive attachment patterns and ultimately to change or end them for good. This new edition includes: New science for understanding how our brains can make a prison of bad relationships New assessments and insights based on 50,000 research participants A new section utilizing the latest findings in attachment research and narrative therapy to concretely rewrite and rescript bad experiences A redefinition of the factors contributing to addictive relationships |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Should I Stay Or Go? Lee Raffel, 1999 Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS). CS is a compassionate process that is designed to build respect and foster advocacy between spouses. The book explains the CS guidelines, including the 12 fundamental issues that must be resolved for a workable, orderly separation. It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage Samantha Rodman, 2016-11-01 Press “send” for amazing results! With 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage, you’ll find a year’s worth of e-mails to help you reconnect with your spouse, reignite intimacy, and keep your love alive. There’s no doubt marriage can be a challenge—we’ve all heard that half of marriages end in divorce. A common problem you may face as a couple is feeling stuck or disconnected—lonely within the marriage—as if you and your spouse were worlds apart, even as you present a united front. Attempts to discuss the problem may lead to painful arguments, and even couples therapy may prove more expensive and time-consuming than effective, putting each of you on the spot and moving so quickly that you may leave, session after session, without feeling closer. E-mail, however, can be a much less threatening way to communicate your true thoughts and feelings. Based on the author’s popular online relationship coaching sessions, each chapter of this book provides an e-mail writing assignment focused on a different topic, such as sex, intimacy, communication, trust, and the future. These weekly assignments will grant you both the time to write—which can be extremely therapeutic in itself—and read what the other has to say without the need for an immediate response. With 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage, you’ll discover useful tips for good communication, learn how to respond to messages with empathy and validation, and be well on your way to rediscovering and sustaining the love that brought you together in the first place. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Dr. Caroline Leaf, 2021-03-02 Toxic thoughts, depression, anxiety--our mental mess is frequently aggravated by a chaotic world and sustained by an inability to manage our runaway thoughts. But we shouldn't settle into this mental mess as if it's just our new normal. There's hope and help available to us--and the road to healthier thoughts and peak happiness may actually be shorter than you think. Backed by clinical research and illustrated with compelling case studies, Dr. Caroline Leaf provides a scientifically proven five-step plan to find and eliminate the root of anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts in your life so you can experience dramatically improved mental and physical health. In just 21 days, you can start to clean up your mental mess and be on the road to wholeness, peace, and happiness. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Marriage That Works Chip Ingram, 2019-02-05 When it comes to marriage these days, anything goes. No wonder you can find a book on marriage from every perspective--or no perspective. How can you experience a great marriage that lasts? What works? This book answers that question by shining a light on the biblical design for marriage. In a world of sexual and relational confusion, isn't it time to consult the One who created marriage? Author and pastor Chip Ingram, with his characteristic compassion, transparency, and engaging storytelling, discusses - what marriage really is - the biblical model - a man's unique role in marriage - a woman's unique role in marriage - the bigger picture of why God created marriage A marriage that works, says Ingram, is more wonderful than you thought possible and harder than you imagined--but worth the work. Couples will learn the power of making a covenant with their spouse and fulfilling their design in an atmosphere of respect, resulting in the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical oneness they long to have with each other. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Hard Questions Susan Piver, 2021-06-22 A revised and expanded edition of the classic relationship book that has helped thousands of couples shape a shared vision for their lives together. With this simple-yet-profound relationship tool, Susan Piver shows couples at any stage of their relationships--whether they are considering engagement, have been married for decades, or just want to deepen their connection--how they can forge and strengthen lasting, intimate bonds. Focusing on key areas such as home, money, work, community, and family, The Hard Questions contains 100 thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, including: • What will our home look like? • What are our professional goals? • How do you feel about sharing our life on social media? • Will we try to have children, and if so, when? The Hard Questions provides couples with guidance and support for having the kind of conversations that will lead them to a deeper understanding of each other and a happy, healthy, and prosperous future together. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Psychoanalytic Couple Therapy David E. Scharff, Jill Savege Scharff, 2018-05-01 In this time of vulnerable marriages and partnerships, many couples seek help for their relationships. Psychoanalytic couple therapy is a growing application of psychoanalysis for which training is not usually offered in most psychoanalytic and analytic psychotherapy programs. This book is both an advanced text for therapists and a primer for new students of couple psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Its twenty-eight chapters cover the major ideas underlying the application of psychoanalysis to couple therapy, many clinical illustrations of cases and problems in various dimensions of the work. The international group of authors comes from the International Psychotherapy Institute based in Washington, DC, and the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships (TCCR) in London. The result is a richly international perspective that nonetheless has theoretical and clinical coherence because of the shared vision of the authors. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Life-Saving Divorce Gretchen Baskerville, 2020-02 You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In The Life-Saving Divorce You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: From Conflict To Resolution Susan Heitler, 1993 In a dramatic theoretical breakthrough, psychologist Susan M. Heitler unties various schools of therapy with a powerful insight. Emotional healing depends on movement from conflict to resolution, as the title suggests. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Long, Hot Marriage Todd Creager, 2008-10-01 The book, The Long, HOT Marriage is all about creative relating-out of the bedroom and ultimately in the bedroom. From being creative and imaginative in how you perceive your partner to creatively and maturely dealing with emotional pain, you can develop a strong emotional connection to each other, which forms the foundation of passionate, long-term relationship. With this foundation in place, you can create a romantic, sexually creative relationship, use your sexual relationship for spiritual and emotional growth and increase your capacity to give and receive love and pleasure. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay Mira Kirshenbaum, 1997-07-01 There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go. Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: • What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable? • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself? • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it? • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable? Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Dance of Anger Harriet Lerner, 2014-03-25 The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. Anger is a signal and one worth listening to, writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Neurodiverse Relationships Joanna Stevenson, 2019-07-18 Comprised of the accounts of twelve heterosexual couples in which the man is on the Autism Spectrum, this book invites both partners to discuss their own perspectives of different key issues, including anxiety, empathy, employment and socialising. Autism expert Tony Attwood contributes a commentary and a question and answer section for each of the twelve accounts. The first book of its kind to provide perspectives from both sides of a relationship on a variety of different topics, Neurodiverse Relationships is the perfect companion for couples in neurodiverse relationships who are trying to understand one another better. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: How to Be an Adult in Relationships David Richo, 2021-11-02 This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships. “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include: • Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood • Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love • Understanding the phases relationships go through • Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries • Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment • Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways • Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact • Understanding love as a spiritual journey |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Hold Me Tight Dr. Sue Johnson, 2008-04-08 Strengthen and deepen your relationships with this much-needed (Harville Hendrix, PhD) guide that has sold over one million copies, through revelatory practical exercises, seven profound conversations, and sage advice from “the best couple’s therapist in the world” (John Gottman, PhD, bestselling author) Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and companionship. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and “the most original contributor to couple’s therapy to come along in the last thirty years,” according to Dr. William J. Doherty, PhD. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships. The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection. Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations, including: Recognizing the Demon Dialogues Finding the Raw Spots Revisiting a Rocky Moment Forgiving Injuries Keeping Your Love Alive These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Through stories from Dr. Johnson’s practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, you will learn how to nurture, protect, and grow your relationship, ensuring a lifetime of love. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Radical Acceptance Andrea Miller, 2017-05-02 “If you’re at the end of your relationship rope, reach for Radical Acceptance.” —Elle A refreshing new approach to romantic partnerships, grounded in the importance of unconditional love that shows how “prioritizing your partner [creates] true happiness in your relationship” (John Gray, PhD, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus). Loving the lovable parts of your partner is easy. He’s funny, charming, smart, successful, and kind. He’s perfect. Except for when he is not. Like when he is late. Or short-tempered. Or lazy. Or he’s incorrectly loaded the dishwasher (again). Maybe he feels like the most frustrating person on the planet. Or maybe you’re simply not feeling heard or seen. Or loved enough. It’s these proverbial unlovable parts that make loving all of him so tough. But imagine if you let go of your itch to fix, judge, improve, or control your partner. Imagine if you replaced judgement with compassion and empathy. Tremendous empowerment and liberation come from loving someone—and being loved—for who we really are. This practice is called Radical Acceptance. Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or are already with him, this is your powerful five-step guide to attaining life’s ultimate prize: unconditional love. You’ll learn how to increase your emotional resilience, feel more confident, determine whether you’re settling, quiet those doubt-filled voices in your head, get out of that endless cycle of dead-end dates, reduce conflict, and build a deeply fulfilling, affirming relationship—all through highly actionable advice. Best of all, you will discover how amazing it feels to have your heart expanded by an abundance of love and compassion for your partner and yourself. Featuring compelling stories for real-life couples and insights from the foremost thought leaders and researchers in brain science, sexuality, psychotherapy, and neurobiology, Radical Acceptance illustrates that embracing your partner for exactly who they are will lead to a more harmonious relationship—and provide an unexpected path to your own personal transformation. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Dance of Intimacy Harriet Lerner, 1990 In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Dating Radar Bill Eddy, Megan Hunter, 2017-08-22 Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar, it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing: 1. Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger 2. Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you) 3. Where your own blind spots might be Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late! If hindsight is 20/20, dating radar is x-ray vision. Bill Eddy is an award-winning author and president of High Conflict Institute.Megan Hunter is a publisher, author, speaker and the founder of Unhooked Media. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Center For Peace Anne Blythe, 2019-06-09 Many men don't understand that their thinking processes create abusive behaviors. These behaviors cause anxiety and fear for their wives. This journal is for clients of Center For Peace in their journey to become emotionally, psychologically, physically, and sexually safe for their wives and children. For more information visit cenfp.org |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Everything Great Marriage Bob Stritof, 2004-01-19 Brimming with helpful information and tips, The Everything Great Marriage Book can help bring harmony to any relationship. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Real Gold Pierce Green, 2019-06-20 What's missing from on-line dating experiences are valid and easy-to-use relationship assessment tools to help you more effectively sort through your prospects and partners. Though finding and meeting others through the internet is easier than ever before, you also need tools that are practical and immediately usable to navigate potential relationships. In other words, anyone can get into, be in, or get out of a relationship, but there are only a few that gather wisdom on the path. This reference guide will inspire you to initiate real conversations with those you hope to love, with less fear of negative consequences. As you increase your ability to compassionately and judiciously speak your own truth you will be transformed in the process. Knowing specifically what is working and not working (repeatedly) will free you to make better choices so that you can avoid participating in relationships in a way that leads to their failure. Relationships no longer have to be something that happen to you and instead can become opportunities to understand how your pre-existing beliefs about them are working for you or against you. As you read through this book, my wish is that you increase your commitment to self-care while trusting that you too can improve your ability to make mutual love and respect a prerequisite in your life. Warm regards, Pierce |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad Mira Kirshenbaum, 1998 We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Counseling Before Marriage Everett L. Worthington, 1990 Everett Worthington's study on counseling before marriage is part of the Resources for Christian Counseling series, a series that combines the best of current psychological insight with rigorous adherence to Scripture. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Healing from Toxic Relationships Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, 2022-07-26 From the psychologist and author of Gaslighting comes a practical recovery plan outlining ten foundational steps to true healing. Surviving and escaping a toxic or abusive relationship can often only be part of the struggle. Long after, survivors often struggle to heal; your self‑esteem may be damaged, you may feel rage and betrayal, and you may punish and/or blame yourself. The author of Gaslighting and specialist in toxic behavior, narcissistic abuse, and personality disorders, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis has seen it all--and she is here to help you understand how to move forward. In Healing from Toxic Relationships, Dr. Sarkis extends compassion and knowledge to survivors, helping you understand the underpinnings of toxic behavior and how to find peace. Highlighting ten essential steps, Dr. Sarkis provides survivors with an accessible framework that can be applied to anyone preparing to heal: 1. Block or Limit Contact 2. Create Your Own Closure 3. Forgive Yourself 4. Establish Boundaries 5. Talk to a Professional 6. Practice Self‑Care 7. Reconnect 8. Grieve 9. Look Outward 10. Prevent: Keeping Toxic People Away Anyone who is in a toxic relationship—whether it's with a romantic partner, colleague, family member, or friend—deserves a way out and a path forward. Dr. Sarkis offers help and hope. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Toxic Love Disorder Linda Greyman, Beverly D. Flaxington, Christy Piper, Christina (Common Ego), Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, Dominique Inkrott, LSW, Forrest Talley, Ph.D., Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., Jesston Williams, Josh Gressel, Ph.D., Julie L. Hall, Kristin Davin, Psy.D., Kim Saeed, Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, Mariette Jansen, Ph.D., Peg O'Connor, Ph.D., Signe M. Hegestand, 2023-09-01 'Toxic Love Disorder' is a groundbreaking book crafted with love by a team of reputed authors from around the globe. It offers a comprehensive guide to understanding, overcoming, and healing from toxic relationships. Love is intoxicating. So much so that we turn a blind eye to all the poison that seeps into the nooks and crannies of our mind, heart, body and soul, thanks to our toxic lover. We breathe in the toxicity to fill our hearts and as the darkness starts to engulf us, we slowly become suffocated. Struggling to breathe, ironically, we become addicted to this toxicity and accept what we have become - a desperate, codependent enabler in an abusive relationship. Yet, we ignore the red flags, silence our inner voices, tell ourselves that “this is not abuse” and try harder to make the relationship work. We keep trying harder to please our abuser. To have a little mercy. A little attention. A little validation. A little love. So that we can feel worthy. We are willing to tolerate all levels of abuse just for that little bit of love. In the intricate tapestry of unraveling toxic relationships, this book stands as a collaborative effort, woven together by the invaluable contributions of many skilled and insightful authors. Each author's unique perspective and expertise have enriched the pages within, shedding light on the complexities of toxic dynamics. Are you ready to imagine a future where you no longer settle for less, where toxic relationships are a thing of the past? 'Toxic Love Disorder' offers you the tools and guidance to make that dream a reality. This isn't just a book—it's your key to happiness and empowerment! Whether you are in a toxic relationship or know someone who is trapped in one, Toxic Love Disorder has been designed as a comprehensive encyclopedia on toxic and abusive relationships. The book allows you to take a deep dive and understand - How a seemingly healthy relationship turns toxic What toxic relationships consist of What lies at the heart of toxic relationships Why do toxic individuals abuse the people they seemingly love? Why the victim chooses to love and stay with their abuser What abuse looks like in toxic relationships How it can affect both the abuser and the abused How to deal with abuse and toxic patterns How to fix things finally, if at all What you can do to get out of a toxic relationship or help someone walk away We deconstruct the inner core of toxic relationships & delve deep into the psychology of the abuser and the abused to help everyone overcome toxic patterns and build a healthier relationship and a happier life for themselves. Dive into a journey towards transformation as you uncover the secrets to recognizing toxic patterns, fostering self-love, and building healthier connections. This book empowers you with practical strategies to break free from the chains of toxicity and discover the strength within you. May this book be a source of comfort, guidance, and inspiration to all who read it. We hope Toxic Love Disorder is everything you expect it to be and it offers you the help you need to transform your relationships and your life. |
| can couples therapy help a toxic relationship: Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, And How To Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry, 2023-03-07 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances, offers practical advice for anyone suffering in or struggling to get out of a relationship with a narcissist or other toxic personality types. Packed with practical facts, tips and advice, this book covers everything from identifying the problem, committing to taking action, legal/custody battles to navigating a co-parenting relationship with a hostile spouse. |
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