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| can grief make you cheat: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| can grief make you cheat: Modern Loss Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner, 2018-01-23 Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as redefining mourning, this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics. At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let’s face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and—above all—empathize. Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty how to cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message. Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome. |
| can grief make you cheat: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| can grief make you cheat: On Death and Dying Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1969 |
| can grief make you cheat: Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life Tracy Schorn, 2016-05-10 Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity -- but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters -- their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more. Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead. |
| can grief make you cheat: After Visiting Friends Michael Hainey, 2014-02-18 A decade in the writing, the haunting story of a son's quest to understand the mystery of his father's death--a universal memoir about the secrets families keep and the role they play in making us who we are. Michael Hainey had just turned six when his uncle knocked on his family's back door one morning with the tragic news: Bob Hainey, Michael's father, was found alone near his car on Chicago's North Side, dead, of an apparent heart attack. Thirty-five years old, a young assistant copy desk chief at the Chicago Sun-Times, Bob was a bright and shining star in the competitive, hard-living world of newspapers, one that involved booze-soaked nights that bled into dawn. And then suddenly he was gone, leaving behind a young widow, two sons, a fractured family--and questions surrounding the mysterious nature of his death that would obsess Michael throughout adolescence and long into adulthood. Finally, roughly his father's age when he died, and a seasoned reporter himself, Michael set out to learn what happened that night. Died after visiting friends, the obituaries said. But the details beyond that were inconsistent. What friends? Where? At the heart of his quest is Michael's all-too-silent, opaque mother, a woman of great courage and tenacity--and a steely determination not to look back. Prodding and cajoling his relatives, and working through a network of his father's buddies who abide by an honor code of silence and secrecy, Michael sees beyond the long-held myths and ultimately reconciles the father he'd imagined with the one he comes to know--and in the journey discovers new truths about his mother. A stirring portrait of a family and its legacy of secrets, After visiting friends is the story of a son who goes in search of the truth and finds not only his father, but a rare window into a world of men and newspapers and fierce loyalties that no longer exists--Provided by publisher. |
| can grief make you cheat: After the Affair Janis A. Spring, 2008-07-08 After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: Why did it happen? Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? How do we become sexually intimate again? Is forgiveness possible? What constitutes an affair in cyberspace? |
| can grief make you cheat: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| can grief make you cheat: My Deepest Empathy Micky Florence, 2022-01-19 My Deepest Empathy By: Micky Florence It is never easy when a loved one passes. When her mother passed away, Micky Florence wrote this book as a gift to her dad to help him cope with the devastating time in their life. My Deepest Empathy is a comforting book that can serve as a way that loved ones can express support and love to a person they care about at a time of loss or grief. |
| can grief make you cheat: Divorce Busting Michele Weiner Davis, 1993-02 A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again. |
| can grief make you cheat: Affair Healing Tim Tedder, 2017-02-06 |
| can grief make you cheat: It's OK That You're Not OK Megan Devine, 2017-10-01 Challenging conventional wisdom on grief, a pioneering therapist offers a new resource for those experiencing loss When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better. |
| can grief make you cheat: Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder Dennis C. Ortman, 2011-09-21 Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase broken heart belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again. |
| can grief make you cheat: Love, Care, Trust and Respect Natalie Lue, 2016-12-25 'Love, care, trust and respect are the cornerstones of every loving relationship.' In the quest to love and be loved, it can feel as if you've tried it every which way and yet, nothing is ever enough, leaving you wondering, 'What's wrong with me?' or lamenting your emotional baggage. How can you 'get' love, care, trust and respect when you don't know what it is or you don't believe that you can or will receive it? Love, Care, Trust & Respect is a guide to the vital ingredients of loving relationships. There are many so-called rules and Natalie Lue, author of the popular self-help blog, Baggage Reclaim, explains why these don't work, instead offering universal principles that apply in every mutually fulfilling loving relationship. Discover: The five landmarks of healthy relationships The four essential qualities for a loving partner The key relationship blocks, why they cause pain, fear and guilt, and how to dissolve them The purpose of your relationships and how to recognise and practise love, care, trust and respect NEVER SETTLE FOR CRUMBS AGAIN |
| can grief make you cheat: Loving Yourself Sherrie Campbell Ph. D., 2012-11 The purpose of this book is to set you free to be who you really are. As you love who you are you will find that you move through life holding your head slightly high and your chest will be expanded and open for love and receiving. Your neck will be long and lean, your throat open showing you are always ready to share and relate. You will know who you are and therefore will feel comfortable to be fully expressed. You will no longer worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you love yourself flaws and all. When you love your Self, and have your boundaries in place, there is not much that can take you off center for too long. This book encourages you to shine in your own full expression in this beautiful life where you know you are loved just for being exactly who you are. |
| can grief make you cheat: Ask a Manager Alison Green, 2018-05-01 From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together |
| can grief make you cheat: Parents Who Cheat Ana Nogales, 2010-01-01 Nationally known psychologist Ana Ledwin Nogales addresses the affects of parental infidelity on childhood development—and on these children's relationships as adults Many books explore the affects of marital infidelity on a marriage, but Parents Who Cheat is the first book to examine not only how this behavior contributes to the breakdown of a family structure but how it directly affects the children in that family. With compassion and piercing insight, Dr. Ana Ledwin Nogales explains how adultery damages a child's understanding of love, marriage, and trust. As these children grow toward adulthood, their ability to have healthy relationships is compromised. Through stories of children struggling to understand their parents' adultery, as well as case histories of adult children coping with unresolved issues related to parental infidelity, Dr. Nogales shows how destructive habits are formed and points the way toward healing and the creation of healthier relationships with parents and partners. |
| can grief make you cheat: 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage Samantha Rodman, 2016-11-01 Press “send” for amazing results! With 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage, you’ll find a year’s worth of e-mails to help you reconnect with your spouse, reignite intimacy, and keep your love alive. There’s no doubt marriage can be a challenge—we’ve all heard that half of marriages end in divorce. A common problem you may face as a couple is feeling stuck or disconnected—lonely within the marriage—as if you and your spouse were worlds apart, even as you present a united front. Attempts to discuss the problem may lead to painful arguments, and even couples therapy may prove more expensive and time-consuming than effective, putting each of you on the spot and moving so quickly that you may leave, session after session, without feeling closer. E-mail, however, can be a much less threatening way to communicate your true thoughts and feelings. Based on the author’s popular online relationship coaching sessions, each chapter of this book provides an e-mail writing assignment focused on a different topic, such as sex, intimacy, communication, trust, and the future. These weekly assignments will grant you both the time to write—which can be extremely therapeutic in itself—and read what the other has to say without the need for an immediate response. With 52 E-mails to Transform Your Marriage, you’ll discover useful tips for good communication, learn how to respond to messages with empathy and validation, and be well on your way to rediscovering and sustaining the love that brought you together in the first place. |
| can grief make you cheat: Silent Grief Christopher Lukas, Henry M Seiden, 2007-04-15 This book gives insights into the pain and suffering involved when people are grieving for someone who has committed suicide, but it also offers hope without diminishing the significance of the suffering involved. As such, it has a lot to offer, and is therefore to be welcomed.' - Well-Being 'This book provides deep and valuable insight into the experiences of suicide survivors - those who have been left behind by the suicide of friend, family member or loved one.' - Therapy Today 'The personal stories are full of pathos interest and will clarify where the death leaves those left behind. The list of self-help groups is world wide and it will be useful that you can point the bereaved and traumatized in the right direction.' - Accident and Emergency Nursing Journal 'The authors describe powerfully the effect of suicide on survivors and the world of silence, shame, guilt and depression that can follow. Author Christopher Lake is a suicide survivor and co-author Henry Seiden is an experienced therapist and educator. They use sensitive and unambiguous language to provide an understanding of what it is like to live in the wake of suicide and the struggle to make sense of the world. They also look at how survivors might actively respond to their situation, rather than being passive victims. This book should be read by any professional who is likely to come into contact with people affected by suicide.' - Nursing Standard, October 2007 'The book is well written and relevant to both survivors and professionals concerned for the welfare of those bereaved by suicide.' - SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) Newsletter 'Silent grief is a book for and about suicide survivors, defined as people who have experienced the death of a friend or relative through suicide, and for anyone who wants to understand what survivors go through. The book explains the profound, traumatic effect suicide has on individuals bereaved in such circumstances. Using verbatim quotes from survivors it explains how they experience feelings of shame, guilt, anger, doubt, isolation and depression. This book provides good insight into the experience of individuals affected by suicide and can be a useful resource to anybody working with such people - be it prisoners who have lost someone close through suicide or the family of a prisoner following a self-inflicted death in prison. - National Offender Management Service. Safer Custody News. Safer Custody Group. May/June 2007 Silent Grief is a book for and about suicide survivors - those who have been left behind by the suicide of a friend or loved one. Author Christopher Lukas is a suicide survivor himself - several members of his family have taken their own lives - and the book draws on his own experiences, as well as those of numerous other suicide survivors. These inspiring personal testimonies are combined with the professional expertise of Dr. Henry M. Seiden, a psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist. The authors present information on common experiences of bereavement, grief reactions and various ways of coping. Their message is that it is important to share one's experience of survival with others and they encourage survivors to overcome the perceived stigma or shame associated with suicide and to seek support from self-help groups, psychotherapy, family therapy, Internet support forums or simply a friend or family member who will listen. This revised edition has been fully updated and describes new forms of support including Internet forums, as well as addressing changing societal attitudes to suicide and an increased willingness to discuss suicide publicly. Silent Grief gives valuable insights into living in the wake of suicide and provides useful strategies and support for those affected by a suicide, as well as professionals in the field of psychology, social work, and medicine. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Night Dad Went to Jail Melissa Higgins, 2023 When someone you love goes to jail, you might feel lost, scared, and even mad. What do you do? No matter who your loved one is, this story can help you through the tough times. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Script Elizabeth Landers, Vicky Mainzer, 2005-04-27 You+ve heard it before: Your friend's husband is acting distant, and she blames herself. Rumor starts to spread that he's running around with his secretary, and still your friend doesn't see. Then he drops the Bomb, moves out-and is soon happily remarried to his mistress. How could your friend have been so blind? That could never happen to you.Statistics show that 35% of husbands cheat on their wives. In The Script, Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer take readers through the standard lines that have been used by hundreds of unfaithful husbands.Like a screenplay for a movie you never wanted to see, The Script indicates which signs to look for, red flags you might not have noticed before, and how to turn the tide of disaster before it's too late. |
| can grief make you cheat: Hope For the Separated Gary Chapman, 2008-09-01 The unfortunate reality is that Christians are separating and divorcing at the same rate as the unbelieving world. But does separation have to mean the end? You may not feel like reconciling. You may not see hope for a reunion. But the biblical ideal for a separated couple is reconciliation. So how do you do it? When doors slam and angry words fly, when things just aren't working out, and even when your spouse has abandoned your trust, there is hope. Hope for the Separated will show you through God's Word that your marriage can be restored. Recognizing that restoration will not happen for everyone, Dr. Chapman also gives insightful advice for those who experience the pain of divorce. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Case for Grace Lee Strobel, 2015-02-24 Join investigative journalist and bestselling author Lee Strobel as he embarks on his life-changing quest to solve the riddle of grace. Along the way, you'll find the undeniable evidence of grace in the true stories of racists, addicts, and even murderers who have found new hope and purpose--all through the redemptive power of God's amazing grace. In The Case for Grace, Lee offers an accessible explanation of the theology of God's grace, shown through the incredible, dramatic, can't-put-it-down stories of people whose lives were changed by the gift of grace--true accounts of people whose transformation and renewal are so radical that they seem to be best explained as the work of a gracious God. Lee draws upon his own journey from atheism to Christianity to explore the depth and breadth of God's redeeming love for spiritually wayward people, traveling thousands of miles to capture the inspiring stories of everyday people whose values have been radically changed and who have discovered the how and why behind God's amazing grace. Each story that Strobel shares in The Case for Grace contributes a piece to the puzzle of grace, showing us: How grace goes beyond forgiveness to acceptance and even adoption by God How it restores hope when none is left; how it extends to the most heinous circumstances How it allows us to forgive those who caused our most intimate wounds--and even to forgive ourselves Through it all, you will be encouraged as you see how God's grace can revolutionize your life--starting today. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression (2nd Edition) Becca Puglisi, Angela Ackerman, 2019-02-19 The bestselling Emotion Thesaurus, often hailed as “the gold standard for writers” and credited with transforming how writers craft emotion, has now been expanded to include 56 new entries! One of the biggest struggles for writers is how to convey emotion to readers in a unique and compelling way. When showing our characters’ feelings, we often use the first idea that comes to mind, and they end up smiling, nodding, and frowning too much. If you need inspiration for creating characters’ emotional responses that are personalized and evocative, this ultimate show-don’t-tell guide for emotion can help. It includes: • Body language cues, thoughts, and visceral responses for over 130 emotions that cover a range of intensity from mild to severe, providing innumerable options for individualizing a character’s reactions • A breakdown of the biggest emotion-related writing problems and how to overcome them • Advice on what should be done before drafting to make sure your characters’ emotions will be realistic and consistent • Instruction for how to show hidden feelings and emotional subtext through dialogue and nonverbal cues • And much more! The Emotion Thesaurus, in its easy-to-navigate list format, will inspire you to create stronger, fresher character expressions and engage readers from your first page to your last. |
| can grief make you cheat: Should I Stay Or Go? Lee Raffel, 1999 Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS). CS is a compassionate process that is designed to build respect and foster advocacy between spouses. The book explains the CS guidelines, including the 12 fundamental issues that must be resolved for a workable, orderly separation. It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools. |
| can grief make you cheat: How to Fix a Broken Heart Guy Winch, 2018-02-13 Imagine if we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms? Psychologist Guy Winch urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Real heartbreak is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else. We care about nothing else. Yet while we wouldn’t expect someone to return to daily activities immediately after suffering a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function normally in their lives, despite the emotional pain they feel. Now psychologist Guy Winch imagines how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotion—if only we can understand how heartbreak works, we can begin to fix it. Through compelling research and new scientific studies, Winch reveals how and why heartbreak impacts our brain and our behavior in dramatic and unexpected ways, regardless of our age. Emotional pain lowers our ability to reason, to think creatively, to problem solve, and to function at our best. In How to Fix a Broken Heart he focuses on two types of emotional pain—romantic heartbreak and the heartbreak that results from the loss of a cherished pet. These experiences are both accompanied by severe grief responses, yet they are not deemed as important as, for example, a formal divorce or the loss of a close relative. As a result, we are often deprived of the recognition, support, and compassion afforded to those whose heartbreak is considered more significant. Our heart might be broken, but we do not have to break with it. Winch reveals that recovering from heartbreak always starts with a decision, a determination to move on when our mind is fighting to keep us stuck. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path to healing. Winch offers a toolkit on how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to, eventually, move on. |
| can grief make you cheat: Out of the Doghouse Robert Weiss, 2017-01-03 It's all about cheating--the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity. Robert Weiss has spent over twenty years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying I'm sorry and trying to buy forgiveness with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust—the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating. The simple truth is men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything. For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever. |
| can grief make you cheat: Private Means Cree LeFavour, 2020-05-05 “This feels like an Ian McEwan novel. Served on a bed of Cheever. I can’t offer higher praise than that. But written by a woman. Which is even better.”— Elizabeth Gilbert Spanning the course of a single summer, Private Means is acclaimed memoirist Cree LeFavour’s sumptuous fiction debut—a sharply observed comedy of manners and a moving meditation on marriage, money, and loss. A deliciously compulsive first novel from New York Times Editor’s Choice author of Lights On, Rats Out, Cree LeFavour’s Private Means captures the very essence of summer in a sharply observed, moving meditation on marriage, money, and loss. It's Memorial Day weekend and Alice’s beloved dog Maebelle has been lost. Alice stays in New York, desperate to find her dog, while her husband Peter drives north to stay with friends in the Berkshires. Relieved to be alone, Alice isn&apost sure if she should remain married to Peter but she’s built a life with him. For his part, Peter is pleased to have time alone—he’s tired of the lost dog drama, of Alice’s coolness, of New York. A psychiatrist, he ponders his patients and one, particularly attractive, woman in particular. As the summer unfolds, tensions rise as Alice and Peter struggle with infidelity, loneliness, and loss. Escaping the heat of New York City to visit wealthy friends in the Hamptons, on Cape Cod, and in the Berkshires, each continues to play his or her part in the life they’ve chosen together. By the time Labor Day rolls around, a summer that began with isolation has transformed into something else entirely. Matching keen observations on human behavior with wry prose, Private Means, with its sexy, page-turning plot, will draw fans of Nora Ephron and Meg Wolitzer. At once dark, funny, sad, and suspenseful, LeFavour’s debut is a rare find: a tart literary indulgence with depth and intelligence. |
| can grief make you cheat: Social Matthew D. Lieberman, 2013-10-08 We are profoundly social creatures--more than we know. In Social, renowned psychologist Matthew Lieberman explores groundbreaking research in social neuroscience revealing that our need to connect with other people is even more fundamental, more basic, than our need for food or shelter. Because of this, our brain uses its spare time to learn about the social world--other people and our relation to them. It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten. Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions. Yet, new research using fMRI--including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab--shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure. Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world. We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another. And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives. This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good. These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species. Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have important real-world implications. Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped. The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being. |
| can grief make you cheat: Perfection Julie Metz, 2009-06-09 Julie Metz's life changes forever on one ordinary January afternoon when her husband, Henry, collapses on the kitchen floor and dies in her arms. Suddenly, this mother of a six-year-old is the young widow in a bucolic small town. And this is only the beginning. Seven months after Henry's death, just when Julie thinks she is emerging from the worst of it, comes the rest of it: She discovers that what had appeared to be the reality of her marriage was but a half-truth. Henry had hidden another life from her. He loved you so much. That's what everyone keeps telling her. It's true that he loved Julie and their six-year-old daughter ebulliently and devotedly, but as she starts to pick up the pieces and rebuild her life without Henry in it, she learns that Henry had been unfaithful throughout their twelve years of marriage. The most damaging affair was ongoing -- a tumultuous relationship that ended only with Henry's death. For Julie, the only thing to do was to get at the real truth--to strip away the veneer of perfection that was her life and confront each of the women beneath the veneer. Perfection is the story of Julie Metz's journey through chaos and transformation as she creates a different life for herself and her young daughter. It is the story of coming to terms with painful truths, of rebuilding both a life and an identity after betrayal and widowhood. It is a story of rebirth and happiness -- if not perfection. |
| can grief make you cheat: We Survived Infidelity Hilarie Barry, 2020-03-13 Moving forward wasn't a matter of trusting Joe. I had to learn to trust God. A single text message on her husband's phone shattered her world. Faced with the truth of his betrayal, Hilarie is tormented by anger and debilitating fear. The shame and confusion push her into isolation. Can she forgive the unforgiveable? Will she ever trust her husband again? Award-winning We Survived Infidelity, a true story, offers a rare perspective on a husband's battle with sexual brokenness, and a wife's struggle to grasp the truth. A nonbeliever, Hilarie is surprised when she hears God in the depths of her anguish. Slowly, she is awakened to a new hope, remarkable insights, and inexplicable love for the man who upended her world. Ride the emotional roller coaster through a past riddled with lies. Reflect on lessons that may bring about change in your own life. And most importantly.... Witness the transforming power of God's love in the lives of two people who refused to give up on each other. This courageous work will be both comfort and challenge for any woman who feels alone in the devastating reality of infidelity. - Susan Allen, author and cofounder of Avenue Ministries We Survived Infidelity, is a phenomenal love story that reveals how God can transform even the most impossible situation into a thriving, living example of His grace. - Jessica Brodie, South Carolina United Methodist Advocate Hilarie's transparency is heart wrenchingly accurate...-Meg Wilson, author and CEO of Hope After Betrayal Ministries *** Don't miss out on this journey of discovery. Purchase We Survived Infidelity today. |
| can grief make you cheat: How Can I Ever Trust You Again? Andrew G. Marshall, 2016-03 There are few things in life more traumatic than discovering that your partner is having an affair. You are not only coping with the pain and anger but also the sense that your partner is a stranger. How could someone you love, and thought that you knew, treat you like this? How can you ever trust your partner again? Don't panic. Millions of ordinary men and women have trodden the same path and come out the other end with not only their love restored but a significantly stronger and better relationship. Whether you are the discoverer of the affair or whether you were discovered, Marshall offers guidance and support, and explains: The seven stages that couples move through from discovery to recovery. What makes people more vulnerable to affairs. The eight types of infidelity and how understanding your partner's affair is key to deciding whether you should stay or go. How to stop your imagination running wild and your brain from going into meltdown. Why some couples emerge stronger and why others get derailed from the recovery process. With over thirty years' experience as a marital therapist, Marshall draws on hundreds of case studies and provides practical, compassionate and sensible advice to keep your relationship alive. As he says, It might sound strange, but you can turn this crisis from the worst thing that has happened to your relationship into one of the best. |
| can grief make you cheat: Breakup Bootcamp Amy Chan, 2020-12-01 “A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw.” —THE OBSERVER A self-affirming, holistic guide for everyone—single or married, divorced or dating—to transforming heartbreak into healing by the founder of the innovative and revolutionary Renew Breakup Bootcamp Amy Chan hit rock bottom when she discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. Although she was angry and broken-hearted, Chan soon came to realize that the breakup was the shakeup she needed to redirect her life. Instead of descending into darkness, she used the pain of the breakup as a bridge to self-actualization. She devoted herself to learning various healing modalities from the ancient to the scientific, and dived into the psychology of love. It worked. Fast forward years later, Amy completely transformed her life, her relationships and founded a breakup bootcamp helping countless women heal their hearts. In Breakup Bootcamp, Amy Chan directs her experience as a relationship columnist and as the creator of Renew Breakup Bootcamp into a practical, thoughtful guide to turning broken hearts into an opportunity to break out of complacency and destructive habits. Dubbed the Chief Heart Hacker, Amy Chan grounds her practical advice and tried and tested methods rooted in cutting-edge psychology and research, helping first her bootcamp attendees and now her readers most effectively heal and reclaim their self-love. Breakup Bootcamp comes at the perfect time, when many are feeling the intensity of being in or out of a relationship, lonely or suffocated, and flirting with old toxic relationships they’ve outgrown. Relatable, life-changing, and backed by sound scientific research, Breakup Bootcamp can help anyone turn their greatest heartbreak into a powerful tool for growth. |
| can grief make you cheat: Women Living Well Courtney Joseph Fallick, 2013-10-08 Women desire to live well. However, living well in this modern world is a challenge. The pace of life, along with the new front porch of social media, has changed the landscape of our lives. Women have been told for far too long that being on the go and accumulating more things will make their lives full. As a result, we grasp for the wrong things in life and come up empty. God created us to walk with him; to know him and to be loved by him. He is our living well and when we drink from the water he continually provides, it will change us. Our marriages, our parenting, and our homemaking will be transformed. Mommy-blogger Courtney Joseph is a cheerful realist. She tackles the challenge of holding onto vintage values in a modern world, starting with the keys to protecting our walk with God. No subject is off-limits as she moves on to marriage, parenting, and household management. Rooted in the Bible, her practical approach includes tons of tips that are perfect for busy moms, including: Simple Solutions for Studying God’s Word How to Handle Marriage, Parenting, and Homemaking in a Digital Age 10 Steps to Completing Your Husband Dealing With Disappointed Expectations in Motherhood Creating Routines that Bring Rest Pursuing the Discipline and Diligence of the Proverbs 31 Woman There is nothing more important than fostering your faith, building your marriage, training your children, and creating a haven for your family. Women Living Well is a clear and personal guide to making the most of these precious responsibilities. |
| can grief make you cheat: Consciousness Unbound Edward F. Kelly, Paul Marshall, 2021-03-16 Building on the groundbreaking research of Irreducible Mind and Beyond Physicalism, Edward Kelly and Paul Marshall gather a cohort of leading scholars to address the most recent advances in the psychology of consciousness. Currently emerging as a middle ground between warring fundamentalisms of religion andscience, an expanded science-based understanding of nature finally accommodates empirical realities of spiritual sorts while also rejecting rationally untenable overbeliefs. The vision sketched here provides an antidote to the prevailing postmodern disenchantment of the world and demeaning of human possibilities. It not only more accurately and fully reflects our human condition but engenders hope and encourages ego-surpassing forms of human flourishing. It offers reasons for us to believe that freedom is real, that our human choices matter, and that we have barely scratched the surface of our human potentials. It also addresses the urgent need for a greater sense of worldwide community and interdependence - a sustainable ethos - by demonstrating that under the surface we and the world are much more extensively interconnected than previously recognized. |
| can grief make you cheat: Chatting Or Cheating Sheri Meyers, 2012-03 Whether the reader suspects his or her partner of cheating, or is the one who's been engaging in a secret affair, Meyers describes the process of discovery, confrontation, confession, and healing that can save a relationship and make it even better. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Priory of the Orange Tree Samantha Shannon, 2019-02-26 The New York Times bestselling epic feminist fantasy perfect for fans of Game of Thrones (Bustle). NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY: AMAZON (Top 100 Editors Picks and Science Fiction and Fantasy) * CHICAGO PUBLIC LIBRARY * BOOKPAGE * AUTOSTRADDLE A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens. The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction--but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained all her life to be a dragonrider, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel. Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep. |
| can grief make you cheat: Dating a Widower Abel Keogh, 2020-01-29 Dating a widower comes with unique challenges that you won’t encounter when dating a single or divorced man. For the relationship to work, the widower will have to put his feelings for his late wife to the side and focus on you. But how do you know if he’s ready to take this step? Drawing on his own experience as a remarried widower, Abel Keogh provides unique insight and guidance into the hearts and minds of widowers, including: · Why widowers date so soon after their late wife dies · How to know if the widower is ready to make room in his heart for you · Red flags that indicate widowers aren’t ready for commitment · How to set and maintain healthy relationship boundaries with widowers Dating a Widower is your guide to having a successful relationship with a man who’s starting over. It also contains 21 real-life stories from women who have gone down the same road you’re traveling. It’s the perfect book to help you decide if the man you’re seeing is ready for a new relationship—and whether dating a widower is right for you. *** Abel Keogh is the expert on widower relationships. A remarried widower, Abel has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. He also helps widowers understand what it takes to overcome grief and open their heart to another woman. Learn more at http://www.abelkeogh.com. |
| can grief make you cheat: The Gift of Betrayal Eve Wood, M.D., 2009-05-01 You’ve been betrayed by a loved one! What you counted on to be true is false. Betrayal may very well be the cruelest and most painful relationship challenge you’ll ever face . . . but you’re not alone. According to conservative estimates, 40 percent of women and 60 percent of men have betrayed their significant other. But statistics don’t help you feel any better. You’re a woman who knows what it feels like to be betrayed, to have your life shattered, to see your dreams go up in smoke. You are alone, abandoned, at risk, hopeless, and overwhelmed. You don’t know who you are anymore, what’s real, or whom you can trust. While you surely can’t see the gift in your betrayal, it is there! What feels like a curse is really a blessing in disguise. Eve A. Wood, M.D., ought to know. She’s been there herself. And she’s helped hundreds of other women heal their lives after gut-wrenching betrayals. You, too, can climb out of your pit of despair and live your heart’s desire—but you need to know how to do it. How will you heal your life when your world explodes? You do have a choice: you can be a victim . . . or use this experience as an opportunity to create the life you’ve always wanted. With The Gift of Betrayal, Dr. Wood has written the book she wishes she’d been able to read many years ago. Her patients, and her own life journey, have taught her the 14 key lessons necessary to heal your life when your world explodes. And now she’s sharing them with you. Read other women’s stories. Learn from your own history. And then use the guidance, tools, and suggestions Dr. Wood offers to find your own unique path to wholeness and joy. You can create a glorious future! You will be successful! |
| can grief make you cheat: Surviving an Affair Willard F. Jr. Harley, Jennifer Harley Chalmers, 1998-11 A practical guide to coping with infidelity, explaining how affairs begin, how to end them, and how to restore the marriage afterwards. |
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