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| couples therapy not working: Handbook of Clinical Issues in Couple Therapy Joseph L. Wetchler, 2011-03-01 Now updated in its second edition, Handbook of Clinical Issues in Couple Therapy provides a comprehensive overview of emerging issues that impact couple therapy. Unlike other guides that concentrate more on theoretical approaches, this invaluable resource contains the latest research and perspectives that every clinician needs when dealing with the challenging issues often found in practice. Carefully referenced, it explores a range of issues that include intimate partner violence, posttraumatic stress disorder and its effect on couple relationships, divorce therapy, remarriage and cohabitation issues, cultural issues, and couple therapist training. This insightful edited volume is suitable for a wide spectrum of readers, including couple and family therapists, counselors, psychologists, social workers, pastoral counselors, educators, and graduate students. |
| couples therapy not working: Divorce Busting Michele Weiner Davis, 1993-02 A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again. |
| couples therapy not working: Marriage That Works Chip Ingram, 2019-02-05 When it comes to marriage these days, anything goes. No wonder you can find a book on marriage from every perspective--or no perspective. How can you experience a great marriage that lasts? What works? This book answers that question by shining a light on the biblical design for marriage. In a world of sexual and relational confusion, isn't it time to consult the One who created marriage? Author and pastor Chip Ingram, with his characteristic compassion, transparency, and engaging storytelling, discusses - what marriage really is - the biblical model - a man's unique role in marriage - a woman's unique role in marriage - the bigger picture of why God created marriage A marriage that works, says Ingram, is more wonderful than you thought possible and harder than you imagined--but worth the work. Couples will learn the power of making a covenant with their spouse and fulfilling their design in an atmosphere of respect, resulting in the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical oneness they long to have with each other. |
| couples therapy not working: The Dance of Anger Harriet Lerner, 2014-03-25 The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. Anger is a signal and one worth listening to, writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation. |
| couples therapy not working: All You Need Is Love & Other Lies About Marriage John W. Jacobs, 2009-03-17 Why is it so difficult to remain married in thetwenty-first century, and what can you do about it? We all know that half of today's marriages end in divorce, but we tend to believe that our own marriages are safe. As psychiatrist John Jacobs explains in this fresh and impassioned book, marriages today are incredibly fragile, and unless a couple understands what is making contemporary marriage so vulnerable to dissolution, the marriage is at risk. Part of the problem is that people refuse to see how social and historical forces have changed the very meaning of marriage, causing serious interpersonal unhappiness. Because of increased longevity, married people live together longer than at any time in history. There's been an erosion of the social and cultural forces that traditionally kept marriages together. Confusion over gender-role responsibilities, increased expectations of sexual satisfaction, and intense time pressures on couples to work and be successful all create marital stress. And yet, most people don't acknowledge the problems in their marriage until it is too late. We tend to believe in the lies of marriage -- such concepts as soul mates, unconditional love, that children improve a relationship, that the sexual revolution has made marital sex more pleasurable, or that egalitarian marriage offers couples easy solutions -- and forget to engage in the constant hardwork required to keep our marriages alive. Dr. Jacobs believes that most marriages have significant problems at some time, but until we recognize the new realities of marriage and develop the skills required to sustain a loving, intimate relationship, marriages are at risk. Of course marriage is about love. But that's just the beginning. |
| couples therapy not working: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy not working: First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors Laura Doyle, 2015 Every marriage has its rough patches. If you're wondering how to repair yours, step away from the therapist, put down the magazine, and pick up this book. If you want to build a long, happy, fulfilling marriage, why not learn from the women who've done it? Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble. After five years, her husband had become distant. He seemed checked out of their relationship, preferring watching TV to making love. There were frequent fights that ended with tense silences and even threats of divorce. Marriage counseling actually made their problems worse. Each session seemed to reinforce the feeling that she and her husband were just too far apart. Desperate to avoid divorcing the man she loved, Laura tried something different. Rather than consulting with experts or professionals, she simply started talking to women who'd been happily married for more than fifteen years. What she discovered shocked her. Everything she had heard in marriage counseling was wrong. Laura realized that there are some basic truths to relationships that can help women maintain loving, intimate marriages, such as: The happiness of your relationship is up to you! Women hold the keys to a happy relationship 95 percent of the time (and will learn what to do the other 5 percent). What men want most of all is to be treated with respect. Treat your man with respect (even if you aren't feeling it), and he will treat you with love and care. Your man wants to know he has your trust. Give it to him, and he'll realize you are special, because you will be! After seeing her own marriage transform, Laura set out to help other women do the same. In this book, you'll learn Laura's Six Intimacy Skills, which have been used by over 50,000 women who have transformed their previously unhappy marriages into blissful unions. Stop reading articles about how important it is to schedule date night, and learn how to transform your relationship into one bursting with energy, intimacy, and love. First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors will put you on the path to having the marriage you want with the man you love-- |
| couples therapy not working: From Conflict To Resolution Susan Heitler, 1993 In a dramatic theoretical breakthrough, psychologist Susan M. Heitler unties various schools of therapy with a powerful insight. Emotional healing depends on movement from conflict to resolution, as the title suggests. |
| couples therapy not working: If Only I Had Known...: Avoiding Common Mistakes in Couples Therapy Susanne Methven, Mark Odell, Gerald R. Weeks, 2013-01-28 Creating tactics for getting it right the first time. The co-authors draw on over thirty years of experience to show young therapists how and how not to conduct psychotherapy. Each chapter begins with a vignette illustrating a common mistake, then describes the error in detail, explains why therapists make the mistake and offers tactics for avoiding it. |
| couples therapy not working: The Dance of Intimacy Harriet Lerner, 1990 In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter. |
| couples therapy not working: Couples in Conflict Ronald W. Richardson, 2010-10 Couples in Conflict describes the nature of the emotional processes leading to difficulties and how a minister/ counselor can be a resource to help couples in conflict. The minister/counselor will be able to help them improve their lives personally, as well as their relationship and family life. By extension, couples will also develop skills that will improve their work life and their life in community. The book provides practical and specific approaches to helping these couples and the issues that a minister must deal with in order to be useful to them. |
| couples therapy not working: Solving Problems In Couples And Family Therapy Robert Sherman, Paul Oresky, Yvonne Rountree, 2013-05-13 Aimed primarily at clinicians who are required to find ways to interrupt patterns of destructive behaviour in couples and families, this text provides a compilation of multi-disciplinary techniques and flexible strategies to accomplish 14 major therapeutic tasks. |
| couples therapy not working: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy not working: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts Judith Wallerstein, 2019-08-09 When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health |
| couples therapy not working: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| couples therapy not working: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| couples therapy not working: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy not working: Techniques for the Couple Therapist Gerald R. Weeks, Stephen T. Fife, Colleen M. Peterson, 2016-03-22 Techniques for the Couple Therapist features many of the most prominent psychotherapists today, presenting their most effective couple therapy interventions. This book provides clinicians with a user-friendly quick reference with an array of techniques that can be quickly read and immediately used in session. The book includes over 50 chapters by experts in the field on the fundamental principles and techniques for effective couple therapy. Many of the techniques focus on common couple therapy processes such as enactments, communication, and reframing. Others focus on specific presenting problems, such as trauma, sexual issues, infidelity, intimate partner violence, and high conflict. Students, beginning therapists, and seasoned clinicians will find this pragmatic resource invaluable in their work with couples. |
| couples therapy not working: Infidelity Paul R. Peluso, 2007-06-15 When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other, it takes a lot of work by both parties involved to salvage the relationship. In today’s therapy-friendly climate, marriage/couples counseling is often a part of that rebuilding process. Many couples seek out professional therapy after an affair is out in the open, but often the act of infidelity is revealed while uncovering and discussing unrelated issues for which the couple is in counseling. And yet, amazingly, as common as this complex and difficult topic arises in therapy, there is relatively little professional literature devoted to understanding and treating infidelity. In this volume, Paul Peluso has assembled a truly impressive list of contributors from a range of disciplines and backgrounds, including marital therapy, family therapy, evolutionary psychology, marriage research, and cyberstudies, with the aim of filling this void. |
| couples therapy not working: This Is How Your Marriage Ends Matthew Fray, 2022-03-22 A thoughtful, down-to-earth, contemporary guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives. Good people can be bad at relationships. One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a call with a phone-in-therapist who told him to “journal his feelings,” Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the eighteen-year-old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was an asshole and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, This Is How Your Marriage Ends exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. In fact, it is sometimes the assumption that we are acting on good intentions that causes us to alienate our partners and foment mistrust. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the practical insights of The 5 Love Languages, This is How Your Marriage Ends helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives, and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. It is must-read for every partner no matter what stage–beginning, middle, or even end—of your relationship. |
| couples therapy not working: Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling Patricia A. Robey, Robert E. Wubbolding, Jon Carlson, 2012 Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling explores the most common and difficult issues that people in the helping professions face when using cognitive-behavior therapy with couples and provides concrete solutions for addressing them effectively. |
| couples therapy not working: The Divorce Remedy Michele Weiner Davis, 2002-09-04 Provides advice for couples contemplating divorce who still hope to save their marriages, and suggests ways to deal with infidelity, depression, a midlife crisis, sexual problems, and other common issues. |
| couples therapy not working: Reconcilable Differences Andrew Christensen, Neil S. Jacobson, 1999-10-06 Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who just doesn't get it will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behavior that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships. |
| couples therapy not working: Beyond Messy Relationships Judy K. Herman, 2019-06-04 Discover your true self and find hope beyond your messy relationships! As a mental health therapist, Judy prepares to see her next client. As a wife, she falls apart in the midst of her husband’s psychosis. His inpatient psychiatrist says, “This is going to be a hard case”. Judy’s first marriage of 29 years ended in divorce after toxic patterns of chronic bitterness. Facing the shame of her past and mothering four children, she recognizes divine invitations toward her authentic self. After four years into a new marriage with her beloved dance partner, Judy suddenly faces frightful realities. Can Judy’s second marriage recover from damage caused by his psychosis? Beyond Messy Relationships is not only an intense and dramatic memoir. It’s a mix of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration that helps readers make sense of their deep feelings. In Beyond Messy Relationships, readers: Discover they’re not alone as they resonate with the messy relationships of a licensed professional counselor Learn a simple formula of A.I.R. to experience freedom beyond the messes Connect the dots from their past to their present Overcome shame so they can experience the freedom they long for Within Beyond Messy Relationships, readers find hope through the formula of breathing in fresh A.I.R.: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks and recognize divine invitations beyond the messes. Finding your authentic self is worth the journey. |
| couples therapy not working: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| couples therapy not working: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| couples therapy not working: Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad Mira Kirshenbaum, 1998 We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. |
| couples therapy not working: Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples Leslie S. Greenberg, Susan M. Johnson, 1988-10-07 This influential volume provides a comprehensive introduction to emotionally focused therapy (EFT): its theoretical foundations, techniques, and clinical practice. EFT is a structured approach to couple therapy that integrates intrapsychic and interpersonal perspectives to help couples create new, more satisfying interactional patterns. Since the original publication of this book, EFT has been implemented and tested with growing numbers of couples in a wide range of settings. The authors, who codeveloped the approach, illuminate the power of emotional experience in relationships and in the process of therapeutic change. The book is richly illustrated with case examples and session transcripts. |
| couples therapy not working: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy not working: Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy Alan S. Gurman, 2012-11-26 An ideal supplemental text, this instructive casebook presents in-depth illustrations of treatment based on the most important couple therapy models. An array of leading clinicians offer a window onto how they work with clients grappling with mild and more serious clinical concerns, including conflicts surrounding intimacy, sex, power, and communication; parenting issues; and mental illness. Featuring couples of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations, the cases shed light on both what works and what doesn't work when treating intimate partners. Each candid case presentation includes engaging comments and discussion questions from the editor. See also Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, Fourth Edition, also edited by Alan S. Gurman, which provides an authoritative overview of theory and practice. |
| couples therapy not working: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy not working: It Takes One to Tango Winifred M. Reilly, 2017-04-04 With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times). Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage. |
| couples therapy not working: How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps Lee H Baucom Ph D, Lee H. Baucom, 2013-10 This book presents Lee Baucom's system for saving your marriage in three easy steps: connecting with your spouse, changing yourself, and creating a new path. |
| couples therapy not working: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| couples therapy not working: Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy Jay Lebow, Anthony Chambers, Douglas C. Breunlin, 2019-10-08 This authoritative reference assembles prominent international experts from psychology, social work, and counseling to summarize the current state of couple and family therapy knowledge in a clear A-Z format. Its sweeping range of entries covers major concepts, theories, models, approaches, intervention strategies, and prominent contributors associated with couple and family therapy. The Encyclopedia provides family and couple context for treating varied problems and disorders, understanding special client populations, and approaching emerging issues in the field, consolidating this wide array of knowledge into a useful resource for clinicians and therapists across clinical settings, theoretical orientations, and specialties. A sampling of topics included in the Encyclopedia: Acceptance versus behavior change in couple and family therapy Collaborative and dialogic therapy with couples and families Integrative treatment for infidelity Live supervision in couple and family therapy Postmodern approaches in the use of genograms Split alliance in couple and family therapy Transgender couples and families The first comprehensive reference work of its kind, the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy incorporates seven decades of innovative developments in the fields of couple and family therapy into one convenient resource. It is a definitive reference for therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and counselors, whether couple and family therapy is their main field or one of many modalities used in practice. |
| couples therapy not working: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
| couples therapy not working: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 Up to 65% of couples who seek therapy for marital problems have had at least one prior violent episode. Unfortunately, therapists often miss this critical information because they do not effectively assess for it. This book presents a safety-focused approach to assessment and treatment of couples who choose to remain together after one or both partners have been violent. Treatment options for intimate partner violence have evolved alongside the growing awareness and broader definitions of domestic violence. Since 1997 the authors have conducted Domestic Violence Focused Couples Treatment (DVFCT), collected data, and refined their program. The authors outline their assessment and screening process and share case illustrations to demonstrate when conjoint treatment can be a safe and viable option. Readers get an overview of the 18-session course of DVFCT and tips for adapting it for multi-couple groups or for a single couple. The major tenets of solution-focused therapy, such as underscoring even the smallest of successes, are emphasized throughout, as are the following special features: -safety planning -mindfulness techniques for anger awareness and reduction -negotiated time-out procedures -drug and alcohol use modules -psychoeducational tools and materials on violence Therapists will learn how to assess intimate partner violence and help couples eliminate all forms of violence and begin on a positive path toward their vision of a healthy relationship. |
| couples therapy not working: I Do! Jim Walkup, 2019-04-16 Strengthen Your Bond, Strengthen Your Marriage Planning a meaningful wedding is important. Planning for a happy and satisfying marriage is critical. Through in-depth, thought-provoking exercises, I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples helps prospective partners grow their love and solidify their partnership as they prepare to walk down the aisle together. From money to intimacy, this marriage workbook helps you dig deep into your relationship over the course of 7 chapters--each focusing on a different part of married life. Gain insight into each other and discover ways to feel closer before you finally and happily say, I do! I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples includes: LOVE, SEX, AND MONEY--Prepare for married life by exploring and sharing your feelings on communication, money, intimacy, children, beliefs and values, family and friends, and work. IN-DEPTH EXERCISES--Learn more about your partner through various exercises, including writing prompts, true/false questionnaires, worksheets, partner discussions, and more. TOOLS TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL--Use this marriage workbook's exercises as springboards for a deeper exploration into your relationship. Deepen your connection and prepare for your marriage with I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples. |
| couples therapy not working: Common Dilemmas in Couple Therapy Judith P. Leavitt, 2010-06-10 Common Dilemmas in Couple Therapy addresses four common problems that couples therapists face everyday in their offices – problems that leave therapists exhausted, drained, challenged, alive, racing, and on edge. These dilemmas encompass not only the difficult challenges therapists face everyday, but also the passions and profound disappointments of human intimate partnerships. The purpose of this book is not only to explore and give case illustrations of these dilemmas, but also to give therapists strategies to use and help them understand and handle their own profound experiences while doing this work. |
| couples therapy not working: Handbook of Couples Therapy Michele Harway, 2005-01-21 The essential guide to successful couples therapy at every stage ofthe lifecycle A variety of therapeutic interventions can help couples developthe tools for a successful relationship. Yet many practitionersbegin seeing couples without extensive training in couples work. Tofill this gap in their therapeutic repertoires, noted couplestherapist Michele Harway brings together other well-known expertsin marriage and family therapy to offer the Handbook of CouplesTherapy, a comprehensive guide to the study and practice of couplestherapy. The book's chapters provide a variety of perspectives alongdevelopmental, theoretical, and situational lines. Recognizing theneed for clinically proven, evidence-based approaches, chaptersprovide detailed coverage of the most effective treatment modes.Couples at different stages of the lifecycle feature prominently inthe text, as do relevant special issues and treatment approachesfor each stage. Subjects covered include: Premarital counseling from the PAIRS perspective (an extensivecurriculum of interventions for premarital couples) The first years of marital commitment Couples with young children Couples with adolescents Therapy with older couples Same sex couples A variety of theoretical approaches, includingCognitive-Behavioral, Object Relational, Narrative, Integrative,and Feminist and Contextual Special issues and situations, including serious illness,physical aggression, addiction, infidelity, and religious/spiritualcommitments or conflicts Providing a diverse set of treatment approaches suited to workingwith a wide range of adult populations, the Handbook of CouplesTherapy is an essential resource for mental healthprofessionals working with couples. |
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