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| couples therapy saved my relationship: How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps Lee H Baucom Ph D, Lee H. Baucom, 2013-10 This book presents Lee Baucom's system for saving your marriage in three easy steps: connecting with your spouse, changing yourself, and creating a new path. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Talk Yourself Better Ariane Sherine, 2018-10-25 'Brilliant - makes a baffling world comprehensible' - Jeremy Vine 'It's everything you didn't know about therapy or were afraid to ask, but by no means the daunting read you might imagine. Sherine, an award-winning comedian and writer for TV and radio, has persuaded such people as Stephen Fry, David Baddiel and Dolly Alderton to write warts-and-all pieces for the book about their struggles with mental health' - The Times So you've decided you want to try therapy. But which type of therapy is best for you? Do you know your CBT from your DBT, your cognitive analytic therapy from your psychoanalysis? Talk Yourself Better cuts through the confusion when it comes to choosing a therapist. Exploring all the different kinds of therapy available, Ariane Sherine offers an entertaining insight into each type, including interviews with celebrities, writers and therapists themselves to help make taking that first step a whole lot easier. · Funny and clear Q&A sections guide you through the differences between therapies · Real life stories give an honest account of the pros and cons of each form of therapy · Therapist interviews give an insight into why a counsellor would champion their chosen form of practice · Features contributions from household names such as Stephen Fry, Charlie Brooker, Dolly Alderton and David Baddiel. This is an essential overview of the bewildering range of options available to you when you want to solve a psychological or emotional problem. Friendly and accessible, Talk Yourself Better stresses the importance of talk therapy in improving your mental health. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Divorce Busting Michele Weiner Davis, 1993-02 A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Buddha's Bedroom Cheryl Fraser, 2019-01-02 Dr. Cheryl Fraser presents enlivening mindfulness exercises, techniques from couples and sex therapy, and the wisdom of Buddhist teachings to help you spark the passion and thrill you've been seeking in your relationship. With this book, couples can break free from the monotony of familiar routines and bring a little nirvana back to the bedroom for a more exciting, loving, and fulfilling connection. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Marriage That Works Chip Ingram, 2019-02-05 When it comes to marriage these days, anything goes. No wonder you can find a book on marriage from every perspective--or no perspective. How can you experience a great marriage that lasts? What works? This book answers that question by shining a light on the biblical design for marriage. In a world of sexual and relational confusion, isn't it time to consult the One who created marriage? Author and pastor Chip Ingram, with his characteristic compassion, transparency, and engaging storytelling, discusses - what marriage really is - the biblical model - a man's unique role in marriage - a woman's unique role in marriage - the bigger picture of why God created marriage A marriage that works, says Ingram, is more wonderful than you thought possible and harder than you imagined--but worth the work. Couples will learn the power of making a covenant with their spouse and fulfilling their design in an atmosphere of respect, resulting in the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical oneness they long to have with each other. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts Judith Wallerstein, 2019-08-09 When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: It Takes One to Tango Winifred M. Reilly, 2017-04-04 With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times). Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Dance of Anger Harriet Lerner, 2014-03-25 The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. Anger is a signal and one worth listening to, writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott, 2015-10-27 OVER ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD! With this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than a book--it's an experience, especially when you use the his/her workbooks filled with more than 40 fun exercises. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you'll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, which has been translated into more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world. Why? Because it will help you . . . Uncover the misbeliefs of marriage Learn to communicate with instant understanding Discover the secret to resolving conflict Master the skills of money management Get your sex life off to a great start A compelling video, featuring real-life couples, is available, and with this updated edition, Les and Leslie unveil the game-changing SYMBIS Assessment. Now you can discover how to leverage your personalities for a love that lasts a lifetime. Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage--before (and after) it starts. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Should I Stay Or Go? Lee Raffel, 1999 Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS). CS is a compassionate process that is designed to build respect and foster advocacy between spouses. The book explains the CS guidelines, including the 12 fundamental issues that must be resolved for a workable, orderly separation. It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors Laura Doyle, 2015 Every marriage has its rough patches. If you're wondering how to repair yours, step away from the therapist, put down the magazine, and pick up this book. If you want to build a long, happy, fulfilling marriage, why not learn from the women who've done it? Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble. After five years, her husband had become distant. He seemed checked out of their relationship, preferring watching TV to making love. There were frequent fights that ended with tense silences and even threats of divorce. Marriage counseling actually made their problems worse. Each session seemed to reinforce the feeling that she and her husband were just too far apart. Desperate to avoid divorcing the man she loved, Laura tried something different. Rather than consulting with experts or professionals, she simply started talking to women who'd been happily married for more than fifteen years. What she discovered shocked her. Everything she had heard in marriage counseling was wrong. Laura realized that there are some basic truths to relationships that can help women maintain loving, intimate marriages, such as: The happiness of your relationship is up to you! Women hold the keys to a happy relationship 95 percent of the time (and will learn what to do the other 5 percent). What men want most of all is to be treated with respect. Treat your man with respect (even if you aren't feeling it), and he will treat you with love and care. Your man wants to know he has your trust. Give it to him, and he'll realize you are special, because you will be! After seeing her own marriage transform, Laura set out to help other women do the same. In this book, you'll learn Laura's Six Intimacy Skills, which have been used by over 50,000 women who have transformed their previously unhappy marriages into blissful unions. Stop reading articles about how important it is to schedule date night, and learn how to transform your relationship into one bursting with energy, intimacy, and love. First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors will put you on the path to having the marriage you want with the man you love-- |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: How We Love, Expanded Edition Milan Yerkovich, Kay Yerkovich, 2009-01-20 Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met? Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: * identify your personal love style * understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse * break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck * find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms * create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love? Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Exaholics Lisa Marie Bobby, 2016-02-10 Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should get over it already. But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: I Don't Want to Talk About It Terrence Real, 1999-03-11 A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: This Is How Your Marriage Ends Matthew Fray, 2022-03-22 A thoughtful, down-to-earth, contemporary guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives. Good people can be bad at relationships. One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a call with a phone-in-therapist who told him to “journal his feelings,” Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the eighteen-year-old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was an asshole and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, This Is How Your Marriage Ends exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. In fact, it is sometimes the assumption that we are acting on good intentions that causes us to alienate our partners and foment mistrust. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the practical insights of The 5 Love Languages, This is How Your Marriage Ends helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives, and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. It is must-read for every partner no matter what stage–beginning, middle, or even end—of your relationship. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Dance of Intimacy Harriet Lerner, 1990 In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The Divorce Remedy Michele Weiner Davis, 2002-09-04 Provides advice for couples contemplating divorce who still hope to save their marriages, and suggests ways to deal with infidelity, depression, a midlife crisis, sexual problems, and other common issues. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: It's Not Always Depression Hilary Jacobs Hendel, 2018-02-06 Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are. Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Group Christie Tate, 2020-10-27 A REESE’S BOOK CLUB PICK * NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER The refreshingly original and “startlingly hopeful” (Lisa Taddeo) debut memoir of an over-achieving young lawyer who reluctantly agrees to group therapy and gets psychologically and emotionally naked in a room of six complete strangers—and finds human connection, and herself. Christie Tate had just been named the top student in her law school class and finally had her eating disorder under control. Why then was she driving through Chicago fantasizing about her own death? Why was she envisioning putting an end to the isolation and sadness that still plagued her despite her achievements? Enter Dr. Rosen, a therapist who calmly assures her that if she joins one of his psychotherapy groups, he can transform her life. All she has to do is show up and be honest. About everything—her eating habits, childhood, sexual history, etc. Christie is skeptical, insisting that that she is defective, beyond cure. But Dr. Rosen issues a nine-word prescription that will change everything: “You don’t need a cure. You need a witness.” So begins her entry into the strange, terrifying, and ultimately life-changing world of group therapy. Christie is initially put off by Dr. Rosen’s outlandish directives, but as her defenses break down and she comes to trust Dr. Rosen and to depend on the sessions and the prescribed nightly phone calls with various group members, she begins to understand what it means to connect. “Often hilarious, and ultimately very touching” (People), Group is “a wild ride” (The Boston Globe), and with Christie as our guide, we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Running on Empty No More Jonice Webb, 2017-11-07 “Opens doors to richer, more connected relationships by naming the elephant in the room ‘Childhood Emotional Neglect’” (Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD, authors of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want). Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. “Filled with examples of well-meaning people struggling in their relationships, Jonice Webb not only illustrates what’s missing between adults and their parents, husbands, and their wives, and parents and their children; she also explains exactly what to do about it.” —Terry Real, internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author, Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times “You will find practical solutions for everyday life to heal yourself and your relationships. This is a terrific new resource that I will be recommending to many clients now and in the future!” —Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Sync Your Relationship, Save Your Marriage Peter Fraenkel, Ph.D., 2011-03-15 Award-winning couples therapist Peter Fraenkel argues that most relationship problems can be traced to partners being out of sync on the powerful but mostly hidden dimension of time. Differences in daily rhythms, personal pace, punctuality, time perspective, and priorities about how time is allocated can all lead to couple conflict. Yet the fascinating fact is that these polarizing time differences play a potent role in attracting lovers in the first place. In this trailblazing new book, he draws on his original research to show how a clearer understanding of these forces can improve the health of your relationship and even rescue a failing one. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids Jancee Dunn, 2017-03-21 Get this for your pregnant friends, or yourself (People): a hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice. Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate Featured in People Picks A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the Year How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an explosive situation. Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy Alan S. Gurman, 2012-11-26 An ideal supplemental text, this instructive casebook presents in-depth illustrations of treatment based on the most important couple therapy models. An array of leading clinicians offer a window onto how they work with clients grappling with mild and more serious clinical concerns, including conflicts surrounding intimacy, sex, power, and communication; parenting issues; and mental illness. Featuring couples of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations, the cases shed light on both what works and what doesn't work when treating intimate partners. Each candid case presentation includes engaging comments and discussion questions from the editor. See also Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, Fourth Edition, also edited by Alan S. Gurman, which provides an authoritative overview of theory and practice. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Mindful Loving Henry Grayson, 2004-03-08 In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Henry Grayson shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones. Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for over thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, which stem from our thoughts and beliefs and mistaken ideas about our own identities, Grayson creates a whole new framework—one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet—in which to view intimacy. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Couples Therapy Workbook Kathleen Mates-Youngman, LMFT, 2014-10-01 Couples Therapy Workbook is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful couple conversations and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies and 10 scripted questions to ask each other - all presented in an easy-to-use mindful style. Set in a weekly format over 30 days but can be tailored to any timeframe. Designed to be used to couples, and also by therapists working with couples (bonus clinician prep included with each conversation). Week 1- Who Are We? Falling in Love, Friendship, Caring, Acceptance, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy, Rituals Week 2 - Who Am I? Childhood, Family Origin, Temperament, Influences, Spirituality, Values, How I Think Week 3- How do we work? Communication, Conflict, Defensiveness, Intimacy, Trust, Fidelity and Boundaries, Parenting, Staying in Sync Week 4 - What do we want? Romance, Joy and Gratitude, respect, Apologies and Forgiveness, Challenges, Relationship Savings Account, Past, Present & Future, Keeping Connected Reviews: “What a unique resource! A treasure-trove of guided conversations to increase intimacy and friendship. Therapists often ask me for good homework assignments. This book does the thinking for you. Keep it on hand and whether its values, sex, conflict or other challenging issues, you'll have a ready-made way to help your clients make immediate progress.” -- Ellyn Bader, Ph.D, Founder/Director The Couples Institute This is a valuable resource for anyone working with couples. Any couple can profit greatly if they are willing to take Kathleen Youngman's challenge to explore these important topics and discuss these wonderful questions. -- Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Authors of best-selling How We Love series “Instead of offering analysis, advice or theory, The Couples Therapy Workbook offers just that, a set of questions to stimulate conversations that help couples deepen their engagement with each other and reconnect. All couples will find this an exceptional guide, and all therapists will find it an effective instrument to supplement the therapeutic process. I highly recommend it and complement the author on her creativity and attention to the core details of a connected relationship.” --Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D.; Authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad Mira Kirshenbaum, 1998 We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2007-10-30 One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. |
| couples therapy saved my relationship: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
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