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| couples therapy for communication: Communication in Marriage Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi, 2017-07-31 How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting - EVEN If You Have a Difficult Spouse; Do you find it difficult communicating with your spouse? Are you tired of arguing and fighting with your spouse whenever you try to communicate? Have you ever wanted to cry in frustration after yet again another fruitless or useless argument with your spouse? Is your spouse not talking to you anymore? You are not alone. Many couples (including us) have had to deal with these communication problems at some point in marriage. And it’s not fun! The yelling, shouting, anger, frustration, rejection, resentment, interrupting, blaming, insults... It can definitely be overwhelming. It could even destroy your ability to not only communicate effectively with your spouse but also enjoy your marriage. The lack of communication in your marriage can even lead to a divorce. But don't worry. No matter what communication problems you struggle with, you can learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse today. Whether you feel you are not being heard, cannot hear your spouse, or want to communicate better with your spouse without fighting or yelling, this book will show you how. For the past 7 years, we have used these proven communication skills to go from arguing and fighting whenever we communicated to communicating effectively without fighting, calling each other names, and being disrespectful. As a result, we now have a better marriage. In this Communication in Marriage book, you will learn: 1. How to communicate effectively with your spouse without fighting. 2. Why trust is essential for effective communication in marriage. 3. Clearly understand why we all communicate differently. 4. How to improve communication in your marriage. 5. How to communicate through conflict, even with a difficult spouse. 6. Our tested, simple and proven step-by-step plan for effective communication in 7 days or less. 7. How to communicate through difficult emotions. 8. How to prevent communication problems with your spouse. 9. Why your past experiences affect the way you communicate with your spouse. This book will show you proven communication skills married couples need to communicate effectively with each other. We have tested and continue to use these effective communication skills in our marriage every single day. And they work! Whether you feel like you cannot communicate with your spouse, or improve communication in your marriage, you can become a better communicator in your marriage by reading this book today. You don't need another fight or argument! You can communicate better with your husband or wife. How would your marriage be different if you had no communication problems? Buy your copy of this communication in marriage book for couples today. ---------------------------- Keywords related to this book: Communication in marriage, communication in marriage book, how to communicate with your spouse, how to communicate with your wife, how to communicate with your husband, how to communicate with your spouse without fighting, communication book for couples, communication skills, communication problems, effective communication skills, communication skills for married couples, marriage books, newlyweds book, books for couples, marriage help books, relationship help books, relationship books, books for couples, books for married couples, |
| couples therapy for communication: A Couple's Guide to Communication John Mordechai Gottman, 1976 This book is designed to help couples with communication and that in turn will help their relationship both socially and sexually. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couples Therapy Workbook Kathleen Mates-Youngman, LMFT, 2014-10-01 Couples Therapy Workbook is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful couple conversations and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies and 10 scripted questions to ask each other - all presented in an easy-to-use mindful style. Set in a weekly format over 30 days but can be tailored to any timeframe. Designed to be used to couples, and also by therapists working with couples (bonus clinician prep included with each conversation). Week 1- Who Are We? Falling in Love, Friendship, Caring, Acceptance, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy, Rituals Week 2 - Who Am I? Childhood, Family Origin, Temperament, Influences, Spirituality, Values, How I Think Week 3- How do we work? Communication, Conflict, Defensiveness, Intimacy, Trust, Fidelity and Boundaries, Parenting, Staying in Sync Week 4 - What do we want? Romance, Joy and Gratitude, respect, Apologies and Forgiveness, Challenges, Relationship Savings Account, Past, Present & Future, Keeping Connected Reviews: “What a unique resource! A treasure-trove of guided conversations to increase intimacy and friendship. Therapists often ask me for good homework assignments. This book does the thinking for you. Keep it on hand and whether its values, sex, conflict or other challenging issues, you'll have a ready-made way to help your clients make immediate progress.” -- Ellyn Bader, Ph.D, Founder/Director The Couples Institute This is a valuable resource for anyone working with couples. Any couple can profit greatly if they are willing to take Kathleen Youngman's challenge to explore these important topics and discuss these wonderful questions. -- Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Authors of best-selling How We Love series “Instead of offering analysis, advice or theory, The Couples Therapy Workbook offers just that, a set of questions to stimulate conversations that help couples deepen their engagement with each other and reconnect. All couples will find this an exceptional guide, and all therapists will find it an effective instrument to supplement the therapeutic process. I highly recommend it and complement the author on her creativity and attention to the core details of a connected relationship.” --Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D.; Authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want. |
| couples therapy for communication: Communication Miracles for Couples Jonathan Robinson, 2012-08-23 New York Times Bestseller! ─ Restore Your Relationship, Enhance Your Marriage Cultivate effective communication and a lasting relationship. Communication Miracles for Couples by psychotherapist, popular professional speaker, and bestselling author Jonathan Robinson has helped hundreds of thousands of couples repair their relationships and their marriages. Continuously in print since 1997, Communication Miracles for Couples has sold over 100,000 copies. Whether you are looking to enhance your relationship or want to resolve existing conflict, successful techniques taught by Jonathan Robinson can help you develop effective communication and a lasting relationship with a spouse or partner. Honeymoon gift, anniversary gift, or just a gift for him or her. Create lasting harmony and keep love alive with Jonathan Robinson's powerful and effective methods for relationship communication. He has reached over 250 million people around the world with his practical methods, and his work has been translated into 47 languages. Learn how to enhance your relationship by learning to communicate with less blame and more understanding. Find a deeper happiness in your relationship: • Feel totally loved • Never argue again • Have your partner really hear you • Repair broken trust If you have read books such as 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work─Anywhere; The 5 Love Languages; Mindful Relationship Habits; Communication in Marriage; or Couple Skills; you will love what Jonathan Robinson’s Communication Miracles for Couples does for your relationship. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couple Power Therapy Peter L. Sheras, Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, 2006 This shifts the paradigm away from the therapist's responsibility for success to the couple's responsibility, from the more negative emphasis of focusing on problems to a more positive goal of creating a fulfilling relationship, and from a quick fix to lifelong development skills.--Jacket. |
| couples therapy for communication: Techniques for the Couple Therapist Gerald R. Weeks, Stephen T. Fife, Colleen M. Peterson, 2016-03-22 Techniques for the Couple Therapist features many of the most prominent psychotherapists today, presenting their most effective couple therapy interventions. This book provides clinicians with a user-friendly quick reference with an array of techniques that can be quickly read and immediately used in session. The book includes over 50 chapters by experts in the field on the fundamental principles and techniques for effective couple therapy. Many of the techniques focus on common couple therapy processes such as enactments, communication, and reframing. Others focus on specific presenting problems, such as trauma, sexual issues, infidelity, intimate partner violence, and high conflict. Students, beginning therapists, and seasoned clinicians will find this pragmatic resource invaluable in their work with couples. |
| couples therapy for communication: Innovative Skills to Increase Cohesion and Communication in Couples Julie Anne Laser-Maira, Nicole Nicotera, 2019-04-16 Couples who enter therapy often view the endeavor as a last-ditch effort before seeking legal services, filing for divorce, and parting ways for good. Given this mentality at the outset, couples therapy is not always successful or enjoyable-for either the client or the therapist. It is also an area of practice that is often given short shrift in training programs that predominantly focus on clinical skills in work with children and adolescents, group work, practice in specific settings, and assessment and treatment of mental disorders. Innovative Skills to Increase Cohesion and Communication in Couples discusses evidence-based clinical techniques and skills that support and nurture couples in their relationship. Each chapter begins with a succinct overview of a technique, evidence that supports it, and ideas for assessment to ensure it is appropriate for the couple. Subsequent sections of each chapter provide clear examples of approaches so that new or seasoned clinicians will have requisite knowledge for effective implementation, required materials, suitable locations for use, and personal preparation. The text serves as an essential resource for clinicians, as well as social work, counseling, and psychology students and professors. |
| couples therapy for communication: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couples Therapy Workbook Theresa MILLER, 2020-11-28 Are you constantly quarreling and fighting with your spouse, feel like you want out, but also don't want to let what you had to go down the drain and are desperately looking to fix your marriage and make your connection even stronger than before? And are you looking for a guide that will help you uncover where you've been failing and what you can do to fix any problems in your marriage or long term relationship, without having to share your problems with anyone? If you've answered YES, keep reading... You Are About To Learn How You Can Turn The Anger, Resentment, Silent Treatment And Tension In Your Relationship Into Lasting Love Through Cultivating Honest Communication, Overcoming The Anxiety Within Your Relationship, And Creating A Strong Emotional Intimacy! All relationships needs nurturing, as without that, love, respect, emotional connection and intimacy will feel like a foreign concept! In fact, you don't have to wait until your marriage is on the rocks to start doing something about it. By virtue that you are here, it is clear you appreciate the importance of working on your relationship continuously to keep the fire burning, reinject trust, and ultimately make your relationship grow and thrive. Perhaps you are here looking for answers to all the questions going through your mind... How do we reconnect and build the spark that we had early on in our relationship? How do we deal with the anxieties that come so often and that threaten the peace and happiness in our relationship? How do we handle conflicts to ensure they don't tear us apart? What should you do more of and what should you reduce or stop doing to grow your relationship? What about the sex - how do we ensure it never becomes a problem in our marriage? If you have these and other related questions, you are in luck, as this book covers all that and much more to ensure you make things work between you, help you mend things in your relationship and restore love. This guide is carefully structured to target several difficulties that most couples face in marriage and how to solve these problems. More precisely, you will learn: How to connect emotionally, why it is vital in every marriage, and practical ways to boost it Exactly how to build honest communication in your relationship, why it important to do so, and the effects of poor communication skills on the relationship How to improve communication skills in a relationship and make your dialogues more honest an open Appreciation and gratitude and their role in building a strong relationship How to negotiate and sometimes compromise in your relationship and why it is important How to handle your relationship with friends after marriage The five love languages and how to express them The role of sex in marriage And much more... If you put the knowledge you acquire from this book into action, your marriage will definitely blossom and grow into the life long and beautiful union that it was meant to be. Even if it feels as if calling it quits is the only way out, this book will give you the hope you need to give your marriage another chance! So, what are you waiting for? Make your marriage healthy and beautiful like it was the first time you met! Scroll up and click Buy Now With 1-Click or Buy Now to get started! |
| couples therapy for communication: How to Not Die Alone Logan Ury, 2021-02-02 A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. |
| couples therapy for communication: The 72 Hour Rule Margot Brown, 2011 The 72 Hour Rule focuses on helping adult individuals and couples to communicate more effectively. This book helps the reader identify their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Then, the reader is guided through a series of topics, and real-time stories and exercises that will help them achieve successful communication with their partner. This book provides easy-to-use step-by-step exercises to help couples improve their relationship. This book examines substance abuse, violence, mental illness, unemployment, family dynamics, and affairs as topics of discussion, and is a breakthrough for all partners who avoid couples therapy or who have had a previous negative counseling experience. This book is based on both research and experience. Read this book as a couple together; integrate new communication tools into your relationship. The 72 Hour Rule is a simple and effective guideline to a more caring and connected partnership. |
| couples therapy for communication: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy for communication: Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change, Second Edition Andrew Christensen, Brian D. Doss, Neil S. Jacobson, 2020-09-15 The definitive therapist manual for Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)—one of the most empirically supported approaches to couple therapy. Andrew Christensen, codeveloper (along with the late Neil Jacobson) of Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, and Brian Doss provide an essential manual for their evidence-based practice. The authors offer guidance on formulation, assessment, and feedback of couples’ distress from an IBCT perspective. They also detail techniques to achieve acceptance and deliberate change. In this updated edition of the work, readers learn about innovations to the IBCT approach in the 20+ years since the publication of the original edition—including refinements of core therapeutic techniques. Additionally, this edition provides new guidance on working with diverse couples, complex clinical issues, and integrating technology into a course of treatment. |
| couples therapy for communication: Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love Marcia Naomi Berger, 2014-01-15 Most couples — because they watch so many of their peers divorce and are themselves the products of failed marriages — don't have many successful long-term-relationship role models. Parenting and communication issues are perennial, while some challenges, like increasingly 24-7 work lives and economic hardships, mark the current decade. Despite all this, psychotherapist and clinical social worker Marcia Naomi Berger asserts that most couples can make love last — they just need to learn how. Berger answers this need with a deceptively simple prescription: have an interruption-free thirty-minute (or even shorter) meeting each week and follow an agenda that includes the kind of appreciation and planning for fun that foster intimacy and pave the way for collaborative conflict resolution. Berger has refined these techniques while working with hundreds of couples — with results that are both practical and profound. |
| couples therapy for communication: Behavioral Couples Therapy for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Timothy J. O'Farrell, William Fals-Stewart, 2012-03-12 This eminently practical guide presents an empirically supported approach for treating people with substance abuse problems and their spouses or domestic partners. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) explicitly focuses on both substance use and relationship issues, and is readily compatible with 12-step approaches. In a convenient large-size format, the book provides all the materials needed to introduce BCT; implement a recovery contract to support abstinence; work with clients to increase positive activities, improve communication, and reduce relapse risks; and deal with special treatment challenges. Appendices include a session-by-session treatment manual and 70 reproducible checklists, forms, and client education posters. |
| couples therapy for communication: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Mark Gungor, 2009-03-03 By using his unique blend of humor and tell-it-like-it-is honesty, he helps couples get along and have fun doing it. |
| couples therapy for communication: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| couples therapy for communication: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy for communication: Assessment in Couple Therapy Lee Williams, 2021-12-27 This innovative text offers a simple but comprehensive framework for couple assessment that integrates research and information on couples from a wide range of models. Using the 7 Cs as a basis for guiding assessment, chapters move through key areas of couple functioning including communication, conflict resolution, culture, commitment, caring and sex, contract, and character. An additional chapter on children also offers insights into assessment of couples who parent. Offering a broad and accessible framework that can be applied to a variety of theoretical perspectives, the book highlights how the 7 Cs can be used to inform both assessment and treatment of couples. Numerous case examples are interwoven throughout the text to demonstrate how therapists may utilize this approach to work with a diverse client base. Written in an accessible style, Assessment in Couple Therapy is an essential tool for students of marriage and family therapy and beginning therapists, as well as seasoned mental health professionals working with couples in a range of settings. |
| couples therapy for communication: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Couples Avigail Lev, Matthew McKay, 2017-03-01 Relationships take work. In this much-anticipated book, best-selling author Matthew McKay and psychologist Avigail Lev present the ten most common relationship schemas, and provide an evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) treatment protocol for professionals to help clients overcome the barriers that hold them back in their relationships. Romantic relationships are a huge challenge for many of us, as evidenced by our high divorce rates. But what is it that causes so much pain and discord in many relationships? In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Couples, Matthew McKay and Avigail Lev provide the first ACT-based treatment protocol for couples that identifies the ten most common relationship schemas—and the coping behaviors they drive—to help you guide clients through their pain and toward solutions that reflect the needs and values of the couple. Rather than working to stop relationship schemas from being triggered or to reduce schema pain, you’ll be able to help your clients observe and name what triggers their rigid coping behaviors when their schemas are activated. And by learning new skills when they’re triggered, your clients will be able to replace avoidant and coping behaviors with values-based action for the betterment of the relationship. By making your clients’ avoidant behavior the target of treatment— as opposed to their thoughts and beliefs—this skills-based guide provides the tools you need to help your clients change how they respond to their partner. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
| couples therapy for communication: The Relationship Skills Workbook Julia Colwell, Ph.D., 2014-10-01 Course objectives: Recognize relationship as an emotional healer; identify triggers, move through them, and come back into ease and alivenessDiscover how intimacy in relationship requires curiosity, wonder, and the ability to find the truth of one's experience deep in one's bodyDiscuss how to speak the unarguable truth; utilizing the eight step moving emotions process—moving from stuckness into emotional flowDefine three toxic habits within relationships and their antidotes—transforming our own behavior, as well as those around us through positive attentionSummarize how to move out of power struggles within relationships and into agreements which allow everyone to get everything they wantDiscuss how to live within the relationship you really want moving between contractiona and expansiveness—welcoming appreciations, creativity, play, aliveness, as well as love for self and otherUtilize checklists, tools, and journaling exercises as a way to engage, reflect and explore relationship skills and self-growth What are the ingredients of a successful and enduring relationship? Love, passion, and commitment are all vital—yet without certain basic skills, even the most devoted partners can find themselves descending into arguments, power struggles, and disillusionment. With The Relationship Skills Workbook, Dr. Julia Colwell presents a practical guide for building a conscious partnership based on cooperation and trust—offering relationship-saving techniques and on-the-spot conflict resolution tools for disarming the explosive clashes that most commonly break couples apart. In this friendly and easy-to-use resource, Dr. Colwell teaches you essential tools for: Crisis and conflict first aid—communication strategies and emotional mastery techniques to stop arguing and start connectingGetting unstuck from power struggles—how to shift from deadlock to mutual responsibility and supportEnding the blame game—letting go of accusation and resentment to create win-win agreementsSupporting each other's growth and success—how to retain your personal autonomy while fully committing to your partner's happinessMoving from reactivity to creative solutions—techniques to keep your brain's flight-or-fight instinct from undermining your heart's desiresSustaining love, passion, and romance—how you can choose to create a magnificent relationship together Relationships, while seemingly complicated, don't have to be so mysterious, Dr. Colwell says. What I've learned from my decades of personal and professional experiences is that a few elegantly simple concepts and skills can help any couple through the most difficult spots—and help us transform conflict into intimacy, passion, and ever-deepening love. |
| couples therapy for communication: Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships John Welwood, 2005-12-27 A nationally known couples therapist reveals the single root cause of all relationship problems—and offers revolutionary advice on what to do about it While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. If love is so great and powerful, why are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal ‘wound of the heart’ that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This core wound shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. It shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace these imperfections—within ourselves and within our relationships—as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world. |
| couples therapy for communication: Happy Together Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP, James O. Pawelski PhD, 2018-01-16 How do you get to “happily ever after”? In fairy tales, lasting love just happens. But in real life, healthy habits are what build happiness over the long haul. Happy Together, written by positive psychology experts and husband-and-wife team Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James O. Pawelski, is the first book on using the principles of positive psychology to create thriving romantic relationships. Combining extensive scientific research and real-life examples, this book will help you find and feed the good in yourself and your partner. You will learn to develop key habits for building and sustaining long-term love by: • Promoting a healthy passion • Prioritizing positive emotions • Mindfully savoring experiences together • Seeking out strengths in each other Through easy-to-follow methods and fun exercises, you’ll learn to strengthen your partnership, whether you’re looking to start a relationship off on the right foot, weather difficult times, reignite passion, or transform a good marriage into a great one. |
| couples therapy for communication: How To Say It for Couples Paul W. Coleman, 2002 A family therapist offers communication tools that can help lead the most difficult conversations with loved ones. |
| couples therapy for communication: Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad Mira Kirshenbaum, 1998 We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. |
| couples therapy for communication: The Power of Two Workbook Susan Heitler, Abigail Heitler Hirsch, 2003 This step-by-step guide is for couples who want to enhance their communication skills and maximize their relationshipís potential for mutual support and growth. Troubled spouses will discover how to hear without becoming defensive, clean up after verbal toxic spills, and convert moments of anger into opportunities for growth. |
| couples therapy for communication: Talking and Listening Together Sherod Miller, 1992 |
| couples therapy for communication: Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs Gina Senarighi PhD, CPC, 2020-07-28 Learn to communicate effectively, meaningfully, and lovingly with your partner--even in tense situations. Conflict is part of every relationship, even the healthiest ones. The key to a long-lasting relationship isn't avoiding fights, but rather seeing them as opportunities to work together. In her book, Gottman-certified relationship coach Dr. Gina Senarighi gives us the tools and strategies we need to communicate effectively, rebuild trust, and repair past hurts. Love More, Fight Less features: 30 COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND ACTIVITIES for building self-awareness, identifying and interrupting emotional reactivity, eliminating judgment, separating thoughts from feelings, and more 29 COMMON PITFALLS IN RELATIONSHIPS around issues of intimacy, career, finances, family and home matters, and friendships with other people--and how to navigate them STEP-BY-STEP GUIDANCE AND EXPERT INSIGHT to help you transform your relationship's conflict patterns by integrating effective communication skills This relationship workbook is for couples who want to learn new skills and build a solid foundation for working through conflicts and moving forward in ways that strengthen their bonds. |
| couples therapy for communication: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| couples therapy for communication: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couples Therapy Linda Berg Cross, 2013-12-16 Harness the power of an integrative approach to couples counseling! Why do marriages fail? The behaviorist or cognitive therapist explains that unhappy couples have self-defeating ways of thinking about their spouses and themselves. The sociologically oriented counselor points to the impact of social trends and dramatic changes in child-rearing and social expectations. A therapist oriented toward psychodynamics or systems theory sees the destructive patterns of childhood replayed in the marriage, with spouses taking on rigid roles. The pastoral or humanist counselor believes that partners who cannot experience self-fulfillment through commitment and trust will feel less love and grow more and more disconnected. Couples Therapy, Second Edition, brings together all these points of view to make a unified whole. This integrative approach proposes a new model of successful marriage based on four cornerstones: resiliency, social support, adaptability, and self-fulfillment. Weaving together theory and research, Couples Therapy, Second Edition, explores how common issues can lead to trouble in relationships. It suggests specific interventions so therapists can teach clients to deal with such problem areas as anger management, domestic violence, depression, anxiety, parenting conflicts, in-laws, work pressures, and sexual dissatisfaction. Couples Therapy, Second Edition, offers a sound theoretical framework as well as practical ideas. Through clinical vignettes and up-to-date research, it makes the common conflicts and developmental stages of marriage so understandable that it can be profitably read by clients as well as counselors. Its invaluable resources for the couples therapist include: end-of-chapter professional development questions therapeutic exercises answers to frequently asked professional and ethical questions intervention suggestions for the therapist self-assessment questionnaires book and video recommendations on each chapter topic Written in clear, readable prose, Couples Therapy, Second Edition, offers practical help for the experienced clinician as well as theoretical overviews for the counselor in training. |
| couples therapy for communication: Communication Workbook for Couples Christian Silverman, 2020-10-22 If You Want Your Spouse To Stop Arguing All The Time And Understand What You Really Mean... Read This Book Together! Do conversations with your spouse often go in the wrong direction? Do you keep hurting each other with uncontrollable emotional outbursts? Do you wish there was a way to fix your misunderstandings for good? Good communication is the key to any successful relationship - and definitely the foundation of a happy marriage. However, once the honeymoon phase is over, most of us notice that our communication skills need improvement. All of a sudden, every conversation has the potential to escalate into a full-blown argument, and every attempt to solve your conflicts only creates more conflicts. But what if it didn't have to be this way? This book will help you save your relationship by using dialectical behavioral therapy, a scientifically proven method used in marriage counseling. Here's what you'll find in this book: Simple therapeutic techniques to get your marriage back on track The right questions to ask each other if you want to save your marriage Strategies for boosting your conflict resolution skills A comprehensive guide to difficult conversations And much more! As you go through the questions in the book, you'll have some very honest and emotional discussions with your partner. Even though these conversations may feel scary at first, they'll help you see the real cause of your misunderstandings - and work together to eliminate it. Are you ready to take the first step towards saving your marriage? Buy Now and Get Your Copy Now! |
| couples therapy for communication: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| couples therapy for communication: The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling Jon Carlson, Shannon B. Dermer, 2016-09-15 The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family and Couples Counseling is a new, all-encompassing, landmark work for researchers seeking to broaden their knowledge of this vast and diffuse field. Marriage and family counseling programs are established at institutions worldwide, yet there is no current work focused specifically on family therapy. While other works have discussed various methodologies, cases, niche aspects of the field and some broader views of counseling in general, this authoritative Encyclopedia provides readers with a fully comprehensive and accessible reference to aid in understanding the full scope and diversity of theories, approaches, and techniques and how they address various life events within the unique dynamics of families, couples, and related interpersonal relationships. Key topics include: Assessment Communication Coping Diversity Interventions and Techniques Life Events/Transitions Sexuality Work/Life Issues, and more Key features include: More than 500 signed articles written by key figures in the field span four comprehensive volumes Front matter includes a Reader’s Guide that groups related entries thematically Back matter includes a history of the development of the field, a Resource Guide to key associations, websites, and journals, a selected Bibliography of classic publications, and a detailed Index All entries conclude with Further Readings and Cross References to related entries to aid the reader in their research journey |
| couples therapy for communication: Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy Alan S. Gurman, 2012-11-26 An ideal supplemental text, this instructive casebook presents in-depth illustrations of treatment based on the most important couple therapy models. An array of leading clinicians offer a window onto how they work with clients grappling with mild and more serious clinical concerns, including conflicts surrounding intimacy, sex, power, and communication; parenting issues; and mental illness. Featuring couples of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations, the cases shed light on both what works and what doesn't work when treating intimate partners. Each candid case presentation includes engaging comments and discussion questions from the editor. See also Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, Fourth Edition, also edited by Alan S. Gurman, which provides an authoritative overview of theory and practice. |
| couples therapy for communication: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy for communication: Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship Linda Nusbaum, 2014-02-11 Popular Marriage & Family Therapist Linda Nusbaum brings her experience to the written word as she explores ways that couples can apply simple skills to get the fullest out of their relationships. |
| couples therapy for communication: Couple Power Therapy Peter L. Sheras, Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, 2006 This shifts the paradigm away from the therapist's responsibility for success to the couple's responsibility, from the more negative emphasis of focusing on problems to a more positive goal of creating a fulfilling relationship, and from a quick fix to lifelong development skills.--Jacket. |
| couples therapy for communication: The CBT Couples Toolbox John Ludgate, 2018 |
17 Communicaton Exercises for Couples Therapy — Talkspace
Nov 24, 2021 · Couples therapy exercises for communication allow partners to learn how to talk and listen to one another. This is just one of the many benefits of couples therapy. This …
9 Therapist-Recommend Couples Communication Exercises
Apr 26, 2020 · Want to communicate better with your partner? Therapists share their most effective couples communication exercises here to help you build your skills as a couple.
10 Steps to Effective Couples Communication - Psychology Today
Oct 10, 2023 · One of the most frequently focused on area in couples therapy is communication skills. Regardless of your age or the length of your relationship, being able to engage in …
19 Couples Therapy Exercises That Actually Work
Nov 17, 2024 · Explore 19 couples therapy exercises to strengthen your relationship, improve communication, and build trust. Perfect for couples looking to reconnect and grow together.
10 Couples Therapy Techniques for Better Communication
Dec 19, 2023 · Couples therapy enhances communication by providing a safe space for open dialogue. Therapists help identify communication patterns, teach effective listening skills, and …
21 Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy
Oct 29, 2024 · Couples therapy offers many useful communication exercises for couples to improve how partners talk and listen to each other. Couples communication exercises can …
25 Best Couples Therapy Techniques to Try - Healthline
May 16, 2025 · Online couples therapy can help establish good lines of communication and prepare your relationship for the future. Teletherapy is a useful option for long-distance …
Couples Counseling 101: Steps to Improve Communication
Dr Gottman’s research shows masterful relationships turn towards their partners on average 20x more versus couples in distress. Passive 2. Aggressive 3. Passive Aggressive 4. Assertive. …
7 Therapist-Recommended Communication Exercises for Couples
Feb 2, 2024 · Thankfully, these communication exercises for couples can help you strengthen your communication skills, increasing the likelihood that conversations will go smoother and …
19 Couples Therapy Exercises For Better Communication
Typically, the following communication exercises and trust-building exercises are methods you’ll learn in couples coaching. These healthy communication exercises will help you enhance your …
Couples therapy communication skills: 7 Powerful Keys for …
Apr 24, 2025 · Couples therapy communication skills are evidence-based techniques that help partners express needs, listen effectively, manage conflict, and deepen emotional connection. …
14 Powerful Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy
Discover 14 expert-recommended communication exercises for couples therapy to deepen your bond, enhance intimacy, and build lasting connections.
5 Best Couples Therapy Techniques (That Improve Communication)
Sep 25, 2024 · Couples therapy is an intentional process where partners come together with a therapist to work through their relationship challenges. At its core, therapy is about creating a …
Relationship Worksheets - Therapist Aid
Taking a step back and looking at a relationship’s strengths and weaknesses is a powerful exercise that encourages communication and teamwork. The Relationship Check-In is a brief …
Couples Therapy & Communication Techniques for Stronger …
Apr 9, 2025 · This guide explores practical communication techniques, backed by insights from Colorado couples and family therapy, to help you foster more profound understanding and …
Couples Counseling Tips for Better Communication - BUCK BLACK THERAPY
Navigating the Complexities of Love and Connection. Relationships can be both incredibly rewarding and incredibly challenging. As a therapist specializing in couples counseling, I often …
Effective Communication Strategies in Couples Therapy: How to …
Oct 2, 2024 · In couples therapy, partners learn how to actively listen to one another, creating a space where both individuals feel valued, respected, and heard. This form of listening fosters …
10 Couples Therapy Exercises for Communication
Mar 11, 2025 · Couples therapy can serve as a significant tool in improving and strengthening this part of a relationship. I’m going to share a round-up of effective communication exercises you …
20 Communication Exercises For Couples Therapy - Santos …
Oct 31, 2023 · One of the key reasons that couples seek relationship counseling is to improve in the core area of communication. The reality is that communication is connected to intimacy, …
20 at-home communication exercises for couples - Ours
Apr 15, 2024 · We’ve gathered 20 communication exercises for couples that offer ideas for settling disputes, sharing personal experiences, and building trust with your partner. Couples who …
Effective Communication Strategies for Couples: A Therapist’s …
Apr 1, 2024 · Successful communication doesn’t come from perfection or poetry. It comes from having a deliberate process and applying it with persistence. The following are a “Deliberate …
The Distinctions Between Couples Mediation and Couples Therapy
3 days ago · As the fields of couples mediation and couples therapy continue to evolve, there is an increasing overlap between the two. While both professions aim to support couples in …
This 6-Step Listening Technique Can Save Your Relationship
Jun 3, 2025 · Active listening is a powerful communication tool for deepening emotional intimacy in your relationship. One reason it’s especially helpful for couples is that it can be broken down …
Relationship Advice for Lesbian Couples — Talkspace
Jun 3, 2025 · 12. Nurture your relationship with couples therapy. Couples therapy tailored to LGBTQIA+ relationships can provide you with valuable tools. It helps you navigate common …
Is the Show 'Couples Therapy' Real? All About Its TikTok Viral Clips
16 hours ago · Here's everything to know about the show 'Couples Therapy,' including if it's real, what it's like working with Dr. Orna Guralnik and where to watch.
Unlocking Intimacy: What is Sex Therapy and How Can It Help?
May 30, 2025 · Discover the benefits of sex therapy, a form of counseling that addresses intimacy issues, low libido, and relationship problems. Learn how sex therapists help individuals and …
People in the happiest relationships never do these 4 things, says ...
Jun 5, 2025 · "All couples fight, it's a given," says Kelley J. Brower. But don't make these toxic communication mistakes — here's what to do instead.
'Couples Therapy' review: TV's best unscripted show returns
May 21, 2025 · Therapist Orna Guralnik in "Couples Therapy." (Paramount+ with Showtime) Another couple, Boris and Jessica, have been together about half as long, but the tension …
17 Communicaton Exercises for Couples Therapy — Talkspace
Nov 24, 2021 · Couples therapy exercises for communication allow partners to learn how to talk and listen to one another. This is just one of the many benefits of couples therapy. This …
9 Therapist-Recommend Couples Communication Exercises
Apr 26, 2020 · Want to communicate better with your partner? Therapists share their most effective couples communication exercises here to help you build your skills as a couple.
10 Steps to Effective Couples Communication - Psychology Today
Oct 10, 2023 · One of the most frequently focused on area in couples therapy is communication skills. Regardless of your age or the length of your relationship, being able to engage in …
19 Couples Therapy Exercises That Actually Work
Nov 17, 2024 · Explore 19 couples therapy exercises to strengthen your relationship, improve communication, and build trust. Perfect for couples looking to reconnect and grow together.
10 Couples Therapy Techniques for Better Communication
Dec 19, 2023 · Couples therapy enhances communication by providing a safe space for open dialogue. Therapists help identify communication patterns, teach effective listening skills, and …
21 Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy
Oct 29, 2024 · Couples therapy offers many useful communication exercises for couples to improve how partners talk and listen to each other. Couples communication exercises can …
25 Best Couples Therapy Techniques to Try - Healthline
May 16, 2025 · Online couples therapy can help establish good lines of communication and prepare your relationship for the future. Teletherapy is a useful option for long-distance …
Couples Counseling 101: Steps to Improve Communication
Dr Gottman’s research shows masterful relationships turn towards their partners on average 20x more versus couples in distress. Passive 2. Aggressive 3. Passive Aggressive 4. Assertive. …
7 Therapist-Recommended Communication Exercises for Couples
Feb 2, 2024 · Thankfully, these communication exercises for couples can help you strengthen your communication skills, increasing the likelihood that conversations will go smoother and …
19 Couples Therapy Exercises For Better Communication
Typically, the following communication exercises and trust-building exercises are methods you’ll learn in couples coaching. These healthy communication exercises will help you enhance your …
Couples therapy communication skills: 7 Powerful Keys for …
Apr 24, 2025 · Couples therapy communication skills are evidence-based techniques that help partners express needs, listen effectively, manage conflict, and deepen emotional connection. …
14 Powerful Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy
Discover 14 expert-recommended communication exercises for couples therapy to deepen your bond, enhance intimacy, and build lasting connections.
5 Best Couples Therapy Techniques (That Improve Communication)
Sep 25, 2024 · Couples therapy is an intentional process where partners come together with a therapist to work through their relationship challenges. At its core, therapy is about creating a …
Relationship Worksheets - Therapist Aid
Taking a step back and looking at a relationship’s strengths and weaknesses is a powerful exercise that encourages communication and teamwork. The Relationship Check-In is a brief …
Couples Therapy & Communication Techniques for Stronger …
Apr 9, 2025 · This guide explores practical communication techniques, backed by insights from Colorado couples and family therapy, to help you foster more profound understanding and …
Couples Counseling Tips for Better Communication - BUCK BLACK THERAPY
Navigating the Complexities of Love and Connection. Relationships can be both incredibly rewarding and incredibly challenging. As a therapist specializing in couples counseling, I often …
Effective Communication Strategies in Couples Therapy: How to …
Oct 2, 2024 · In couples therapy, partners learn how to actively listen to one another, creating a space where both individuals feel valued, respected, and heard. This form of listening fosters …
10 Couples Therapy Exercises for Communication
Mar 11, 2025 · Couples therapy can serve as a significant tool in improving and strengthening this part of a relationship. I’m going to share a round-up of effective communication exercises you …
20 Communication Exercises For Couples Therapy - Santos …
Oct 31, 2023 · One of the key reasons that couples seek relationship counseling is to improve in the core area of communication. The reality is that communication is connected to intimacy, …
20 at-home communication exercises for couples - Ours
Apr 15, 2024 · We’ve gathered 20 communication exercises for couples that offer ideas for settling disputes, sharing personal experiences, and building trust with your partner. Couples …
Effective Communication Strategies for Couples: A Therapist’s …
Apr 1, 2024 · Successful communication doesn’t come from perfection or poetry. It comes from having a deliberate process and applying it with persistence. The following are a “Deliberate …
The Distinctions Between Couples Mediation and Couples Therapy
3 days ago · As the fields of couples mediation and couples therapy continue to evolve, there is an increasing overlap between the two. While both professions aim to support couples in …
This 6-Step Listening Technique Can Save Your Relationship
Jun 3, 2025 · Active listening is a powerful communication tool for deepening emotional intimacy in your relationship. One reason it’s especially helpful for couples is that it can be broken down …
Relationship Advice for Lesbian Couples — Talkspace
Jun 3, 2025 · 12. Nurture your relationship with couples therapy. Couples therapy tailored to LGBTQIA+ relationships can provide you with valuable tools. It helps you navigate common …
Is the Show 'Couples Therapy' Real? All About Its TikTok Viral Clips
16 hours ago · Here's everything to know about the show 'Couples Therapy,' including if it's real, what it's like working with Dr. Orna Guralnik and where to watch.
Unlocking Intimacy: What is Sex Therapy and How Can It Help?
May 30, 2025 · Discover the benefits of sex therapy, a form of counseling that addresses intimacy issues, low libido, and relationship problems. Learn how sex therapists help individuals and …
People in the happiest relationships never do these 4 things, says ...
Jun 5, 2025 · "All couples fight, it's a given," says Kelley J. Brower. But don't make these toxic communication mistakes — here's what to do instead.
'Couples Therapy' review: TV's best unscripted show returns
May 21, 2025 · Therapist Orna Guralnik in "Couples Therapy." (Paramount+ with Showtime) Another couple, Boris and Jessica, have been together about half as long, but the tension …
