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| couples therapy for trust issues: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| couples therapy for trust issues: I Love You But I Don't Trust You Mira Kirshenbaum, 2012-02-07 A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple’s therapist. Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples John M. Gottman, 2011-05-09 An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Jealousy Cure Robert L. Leahy, 2018-03-01 The Jealousy Cure unlocks the positive power of jealousy for happy relationships. —Foreword Reviews Solid counsel for those whose relationships are plagued by jealousy and the individuals it targets. —Library Journal starred review Could jealousy be a positive thing? In this groundbreaking book, Robert L. Leahy—author of the hugely popular self-help guide, The Worry Cure—invites you to gain a greater understanding of your jealous feelings, keep jealousy from hijacking your life, and create healthier relationships. We’ve all heard tales of the overly jealous spouse or significant other. Maybe we’ve even been that jealous person, though we may not want to admit it. It’s hard to imagine anyone sailing through life without either having feelings of jealousy or being the target of someone’s jealousy. But what if jealousy isn’t just a neurotic weakness? What if it signals that your relationship matters to you? In short—what if jealousy serves a purpose? In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a more nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful. You will learn that confronting jealousy in your relationship does not have to be a catastrophe, but can redirect you and your partner to build more trust, acceptance, and connection. We often feel jealous because we fear losing the things or people that matter to us the most. With this insightful guide, you’ll discover how jealousy can both help and hurt your relationship, and learn proven-effective skills to keep jealousy in its place. This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation— an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Couples Therapy Workbook Kathleen Mates-Youngman, LMFT, 2014-10-01 Couples Therapy Workbook is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful couple conversations and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies and 10 scripted questions to ask each other - all presented in an easy-to-use mindful style. Set in a weekly format over 30 days but can be tailored to any timeframe. Designed to be used to couples, and also by therapists working with couples (bonus clinician prep included with each conversation). Week 1- Who Are We? Falling in Love, Friendship, Caring, Acceptance, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy, Rituals Week 2 - Who Am I? Childhood, Family Origin, Temperament, Influences, Spirituality, Values, How I Think Week 3- How do we work? Communication, Conflict, Defensiveness, Intimacy, Trust, Fidelity and Boundaries, Parenting, Staying in Sync Week 4 - What do we want? Romance, Joy and Gratitude, respect, Apologies and Forgiveness, Challenges, Relationship Savings Account, Past, Present & Future, Keeping Connected Reviews: “What a unique resource! A treasure-trove of guided conversations to increase intimacy and friendship. Therapists often ask me for good homework assignments. This book does the thinking for you. Keep it on hand and whether its values, sex, conflict or other challenging issues, you'll have a ready-made way to help your clients make immediate progress.” -- Ellyn Bader, Ph.D, Founder/Director The Couples Institute This is a valuable resource for anyone working with couples. Any couple can profit greatly if they are willing to take Kathleen Youngman's challenge to explore these important topics and discuss these wonderful questions. -- Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Authors of best-selling How We Love series “Instead of offering analysis, advice or theory, The Couples Therapy Workbook offers just that, a set of questions to stimulate conversations that help couples deepen their engagement with each other and reconnect. All couples will find this an exceptional guide, and all therapists will find it an effective instrument to supplement the therapeutic process. I highly recommend it and complement the author on her creativity and attention to the core details of a connected relationship.” --Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D.; Authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Reigniting the Spark Bruce Chalmer, 2020-02-29 Learn how to have better sex with your partner and build a lasting, satisfying relationship in this guide by a seasoned couples therapist. Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s Reigniting the Spark shows couples how to build a lasting relationship full of passion and fulfillment. You’ll find out how to improve your communication, have better sex, and avoid pointless arguments. Dr. Chalmer combines his expertise in science with thirty years of experience as a couples therapist to show how you can restore intimacy and overcome any relationship problem to create and maintain a lively, loving, lasting relationship. He offers a unique perspective on the role of faith—not necessarily religious—in relationships. Whatever your faith background, religious or secular, Dr. Chalmer’s approach to faith as a key to unlocking intimacy will inform and inspire you. This book explores the most common issues that sap the happiness out of a relationship and shows you exactly what to do to turn it around. Written in a relatable and easy-to-understand style, Reigniting the Spark will help you better understand yourself and your partner so you can both be more satisfied. Whether you’re reading alone or with a partner, this book will teach you: How to build and restore intimacy, trust, and a deep connection in your relationship How to identify triggering issues like trauma that could be sapping the joy out of your relationship, and exactly what to do about it A list of bad reasons people get married—and one good one How to go from plain old sex, to good sex, to sacred sex How to be your best self when your partner has been unfaithful How to know when to break up, and when to work through the inevitable growing pains in your relationship Reigniting the Spark is for any couple who’s ready to create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Perfect for fans of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Jon Gottman and Nan Silver, Kosher Sex by Shmuley Boteach, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendricks and Helen LaKelly Hunt. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: True Love Dates Debra K. Fileta, 2013-10-08 It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to kiss dating goodbye but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: It Takes One to Tango Winifred M. Reilly, 2017-04-04 With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times). Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change, Second Edition Andrew Christensen, Brian D. Doss, Neil S. Jacobson, 2020-09-15 The definitive therapist manual for Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)—one of the most empirically supported approaches to couple therapy. Andrew Christensen, codeveloper (along with the late Neil Jacobson) of Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, and Brian Doss provide an essential manual for their evidence-based practice. The authors offer guidance on formulation, assessment, and feedback of couples’ distress from an IBCT perspective. They also detail techniques to achieve acceptance and deliberate change. In this updated edition of the work, readers learn about innovations to the IBCT approach in the 20+ years since the publication of the original edition—including refinements of core therapeutic techniques. Additionally, this edition provides new guidance on working with diverse couples, complex clinical issues, and integrating technology into a course of treatment. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Behavioral Couples Therapy for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Timothy J. O'Farrell, William Fals-Stewart, 2012-03-12 This eminently practical guide presents an empirically supported approach for treating people with substance abuse problems and their spouses or domestic partners. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) explicitly focuses on both substance use and relationship issues, and is readily compatible with 12-step approaches. In a convenient large-size format, the book provides all the materials needed to introduce BCT; implement a recovery contract to support abstinence; work with clients to increase positive activities, improve communication, and reduce relapse risks; and deal with special treatment challenges. Appendices include a session-by-session treatment manual and 70 reproducible checklists, forms, and client education posters. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: You 1 Anxiety 0 Jodi Aman, 2017-03-17 In You 1, Anxiety 0, Jodi Aman highlights the ways anxiety manipulates and entraps us, and offers valuable tools you can use to see through anxiety's mind tricks and break free from the prison of fear, stress and doubt. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Reconcilable Differences Andrew Christensen, Neil S. Jacobson, 1999-10-06 Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who just doesn't get it will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behavior that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Mask of Masculinity Lewis Howes, 2017-10-31 ‘This is one of the most important topics today that seemingly no one is talking about: how men can take care of their emotional health in a 21st century that demands it. Crucial reading for any young or struggling man.’ - Mark Manson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck At 30 years old, Lewis Howes was outwardly thriving but unfulfilled inside. He was a successful athlete and businessman, achieving goals beyond his wildest dreams, but he felt empty, angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough. His whole identity had been built on misguided beliefs about what masculinity was. Howes began a personal journey to find inner peace and to uncover the many masks that men – young and old – wear. In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes: · The ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; · The cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and · The destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight. He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It's not easy, but if you want to love, be loved and live a great life, then it's an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make. This book is a must-read for every man – and for every woman who loves a man. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Remarriage Manual Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, 2020-02-18 The 10 Keys to a Successful Remarriage Winner of the 2022 Independent Publisher Book Award in Gold for Self Help Winner of American Book Fest’s 2020 Best Book Award in “Self-Help: Relationships” Based on the author’s personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, The Remarriage Manual offers 10 essential keys to a successful remarriage: Build a Culture of Appreciation, Respect, and Tolerance. Negativity is toxic. Personal growth and love are possible when you can express appreciation through positive words and actions. Make Your Remarriage a Top Priority. Never underestimate the power of intentional time with your partner to increase physical and emotional intimacy. Ditch the Baggage from Your First Marriage. Learn ways to be more reflective and less reactive to triggers that hit raw spots or vulnerabilities stemming from prior relationships. Don’t Keep Secrets about Money. Remarried couples face complicated financial issues such as unequal assets, child support, alimony, and education costs for children and stepchildren. Honesty and full disclosure about finances are essential. Don’t Let Mistrust Stop You from Being Vulnerable and Emotionally Intimate. Learn that vulnerability and trust go hand in hand and the steps you can take to be authentic and intimate with your partner so you can achieve long-lasting love. Get Sexy and Fall in Love All Over Again. Given the stressors of a second marriage, it can be particularly challenging to stay sexually intimate. Yet moments of connection, such as touching, talking, or making love, are all part of the glue that holds a second marriage together. Don’t Make a Big Deal about Nothing . . . but Do Deal with Important Issues. Differences in beliefs, expectations, and conversational styles can cause you to blow things out of proportion and tune each other out. Effective communication will help you overcome these types of misunderstandings. Manage the Flames of Conflict. You can’t avoid disagreements entirely. What you can do, however, is learn how to manage them successfully to avoid the “blame game” so that they can nourish rather than drain your remarriage. Embrace Your Role as a Stepparent and Create Positive Stepfamily Memories. There is no such thing as instant love in a stepfamily. When biological parents are involved, the relationships can get even trickier. Learn to adjust to your role as a stepparent—the chances of a second marriage succeeding go way up when both partners adopt an attitude of “we’re in this together.” Say You’re Sorry and Mean It. Studies show that apologizing to your partner for hurting their feelings and granting forgiveness are crucial to the success of a second marriage. It’s essential that remarried couples learn the value of sincere apologies and forgiveness. Drawing on the experiences of dozens of couples and remarriage scenarios, Terry Gaspard shows you how to bring each key home and set up your relationship for lasting success. Whether you are thinking of remarrying and concerned about going the distance or are already remarried and struggling, The Remarriage Manual provides the expert advice, practical tools, hope, and inspiration you need to prevent challenges from becoming deal breakers. The 10 keys provided here will help put you and your spouse on solid footing; keep the flame between you burning bright; and build a deeply trusting, loving, and sustainable connection for the long haul. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Handbook of Conflict Resolution Morton Deutsch, Peter T. Coleman, Eric C. Marcus, 2006-09-18 The Handbook of Conflict Resolution, Second Edition is written for both the seasoned professional and the student who wants to deepen their understanding of the processes involved in conflicts and their knowledge of how to manage them constructively. It provides the theoretical underpinnings that throw light on the fundamental social psychological processes involved in understanding and managing conflicts at all levels—interpersonal, intergroup, organizational, and international. The Handbook covers a broad range of topics including information on cooperation and competition, justice, trust development and repair, resolving intractable conflict, and working with culture and conflict. Comprehensive in scope, this new edition includes chapters that deal with language, emotion, gender, and personal implicit theories as they relate to conflict. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: You Can Go Home Again Monica McGoldrick, 1997-06-03 In this revelatory book, esteemed family therapist Monica McGoldrick explores why families behave as they do, using genograms (family trees) to illustrate family patterns. Mapped out over a three-generation span, repeated estrangements, alliances, even divorces and suicides, prove more than coincidental. McGoldrick uses the genograms of famous families - including the Kennedys, Hepburns, Beethovens and Brontes - the discuss the influence of birth order and sibling rivalry, family myths and secrets, cultural differences, couple relationships and the pivotal role of loss. Relevant questions to ask appear at the end of each chapter, helping the reader become researcher, uncovering information previously withheld, misunderstood or overlooked. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: How to Not Die Alone Logan Ury, 2021-02-02 A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Marriage That Works Chip Ingram, 2019-02-05 When it comes to marriage these days, anything goes. No wonder you can find a book on marriage from every perspective--or no perspective. How can you experience a great marriage that lasts? What works? This book answers that question by shining a light on the biblical design for marriage. In a world of sexual and relational confusion, isn't it time to consult the One who created marriage? Author and pastor Chip Ingram, with his characteristic compassion, transparency, and engaging storytelling, discusses - what marriage really is - the biblical model - a man's unique role in marriage - a woman's unique role in marriage - the bigger picture of why God created marriage A marriage that works, says Ingram, is more wonderful than you thought possible and harder than you imagined--but worth the work. Couples will learn the power of making a covenant with their spouse and fulfilling their design in an atmosphere of respect, resulting in the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical oneness they long to have with each other. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Couples Therapy Linda Berg Cross, 2013-12-16 Harness the power of an integrative approach to couples counseling! Why do marriages fail? The behaviorist or cognitive therapist explains that unhappy couples have self-defeating ways of thinking about their spouses and themselves. The sociologically oriented counselor points to the impact of social trends and dramatic changes in child-rearing and social expectations. A therapist oriented toward psychodynamics or systems theory sees the destructive patterns of childhood replayed in the marriage, with spouses taking on rigid roles. The pastoral or humanist counselor believes that partners who cannot experience self-fulfillment through commitment and trust will feel less love and grow more and more disconnected. Couples Therapy, Second Edition, brings together all these points of view to make a unified whole. This integrative approach proposes a new model of successful marriage based on four cornerstones: resiliency, social support, adaptability, and self-fulfillment. Weaving together theory and research, Couples Therapy, Second Edition, explores how common issues can lead to trouble in relationships. It suggests specific interventions so therapists can teach clients to deal with such problem areas as anger management, domestic violence, depression, anxiety, parenting conflicts, in-laws, work pressures, and sexual dissatisfaction. Couples Therapy, Second Edition, offers a sound theoretical framework as well as practical ideas. Through clinical vignettes and up-to-date research, it makes the common conflicts and developmental stages of marriage so understandable that it can be profitably read by clients as well as counselors. Its invaluable resources for the couples therapist include: end-of-chapter professional development questions therapeutic exercises answers to frequently asked professional and ethical questions intervention suggestions for the therapist self-assessment questionnaires book and video recommendations on each chapter topic Written in clear, readable prose, Couples Therapy, Second Edition, offers practical help for the experienced clinician as well as theoretical overviews for the counselor in training. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2007-10-30 One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Tell Me No Lies Peter T. Pearson, Ellyn Bader, Judith D. Schwartz, 2001-12-14 Lying-For Better or Worse Everybody lies. Friends lie to friends. Children lie to their parents. Politicians lie to constituents. And, inevitably, husbands and wives lie to each other. Lies between lovers have tremendous potential to both nurture and destroy a relationship. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies-even seemingly harmless lies-can wield in your marriage. Tell Me No Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in marriage and reveals the many reasons behind the lies we tell our partners (and ourselves). Learn the four marital stages: * The Honeymoon * Emerging Differences * Freedom * Together as Two Discover how to recognize how lying can lead to serious trouble at each stage. The signs include: * The Dark Side of the Honeymoon, when couples refuse to acknowledge any problems * The Stalemate, when couples fight and brutalize each other with exaggerated truths * Freedom Unhinged, when independence outweighs togetherness and marital anarchy ensues. Offering a new way of thinking about truth and deception, this book will help you understand the dynamics of your marriage in the context of the marital stages. If you can identify your marital stage, you can overcome the barriers to honesty and move on to a happier and more fulfilling marriage! |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| couples therapy for trust issues: CrossTalk Michael R. Emlet, 2009-11-10 Your friend just left his wife. You catch your child posting something inappropriate on the Internet. Someone in your small group is depressed. A relative was just diagnosed with an incurable disease. When those you know experience trouble, you want to offer real hope and help from God's Word. Using case studies and concrete examples, Michael ... |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Life Anonymous Kristin M Snowden, Scott Brassart, 2020-12-04 This book is for anyone who wants to get out of a painful internal or interpersonal cycle and seek a better way of living.The 12-Step model for recovery and healing has helped millions of addicts worldwide not only find and maintain sobriety but live healthier, happier, more intimately connected lives. But for some reason, this formula has never taken root beyond the recovering addict community. Until now. Kristin M. Snowden, a non-addict and therapist, and Scott Brassart, a long-recovering addict and author, have both worked and benefitted from the 12 Steps. And they have both wondered why-when it is so clear to them that the 12 Steps can help any person (addicted or not)-this proven program for healthy change is not more widely utilized. That is why Life Anonymous was written, with Kristin and Scott using their personal and professional journeys to show how every person can use the 12 Steps to ignite profound change. You don't need to be an addict and you don't need extreme or obvious symptoms such as debilitating depression or anxiety to get something meaningful from this book. You don't even need to be in relationship with an addict. The simple truth is that people in deep struggle can appear to be quite high functioning. The 12 Steps are about identifying what is not working in our lives and making changes to better both ourselves and our relationships. Ultimately, healthy connection with self and others is what it's all about.Whoever you are, whatever your situation, your life can be better. Much better. And the 12 Step process described in these pages can help you make that happen. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: How to Build trust In a Relationship Claire Robin, Trust is apparently the backbone of every reasonable relationship. For a relationship to last and be beneficial, two people must come together and have a reasonable level of trust in the intentions, decisions, and commitment to one another. There comes a point in a relationship when you realize you trust someone enough to let them keep their secrets. This book is consisting of strategies for building such an extreme level of trust in your relationship. You will discover how close you’ve been to building a healthy relationship all this while. You will immediately start experiencing the benefit of building such an amount of trust even as you apply the strategies revealed in this book in real-life situations. You will also learn: - The concept of secrecy in a committed relationship - How to tackle trust issues in your partner/spouse - Ways to get rid of doubts about your partner - Make your partner trust you as much as you trust them - How to make them stop lying to you/make them admit - Cultivate honesty in your relationship Tags: trust relationship failed, rebuild trust in a relationship, trust in a relationship quotes, trust in the relationship, relationship goals, relationship advice, relationship counselling, relationship with a narcissist, relationship insecurity, relationship management, relationship boundaries, relationship problems, definition of toxic relationship, toxic relationship meaning, take your last relationship, marriage intimacy therapy, marriage counseling rebuilding trust, trusting your spouse, how to regain trust in a relationship after lying, trusting your partner in dating, bringing back trust in relationship, effective communication and broken trust |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Hold on to Your N.U.T.s* Wayne M. Levine, 2007 Being a man is a full-time job, especially when you?re married or in a relationship. Hold on to Your N.U.T.s can help build a life that fulfills both you and your partner by showing you how to confirm the ideas and causes you support?your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms. The N.U.T.s become the framework for how you conduct your relationships, whether you?re committed to spending more one-on-one time with your kids or not hiding out at the office to avoid problems with your wife. By laying down guidelines of what's right and wrong, what you like and dislike, you will learn to silence the little boy inside and become a strong, self-assured man who is focused on creating the best life possible for you and your companion. |
| couples therapy for trust issues: The Ellipsis Manual Chase Hughes, 2017-02-14 Originally written as a manual for intelligence field operations... -You'll stop believing in free will.- -LISA SCHMIDT, HUFFINGTON POST One look at the table of contents will give you an 'oh my God' moment. -The Ellipsis Manual is the kind of book that used to be locked away...deep in a vault underground...far away from the prying eyes of those who could misuse its power. With chapter titles like 'Methods of physically hacking the brain' and 'Shutting off human willpower, ' what you're about to learn could make even the most well-trained CIA operative blush... And that's what leads me to say that if you're going to pick up your copy of The Ellipsis Manual today, you've got to make a firm commitment not to go to the dark side with this material. Because once you go through these pages, you'll be able to: -See through the masks people wear - exposing fears and insecurities no one else can see -Instantly detect when a partner, boss, or even a friend is lying to you -Covertly influence anyone, any time (with NO chance of being caught) -Hijack peoples' deepest thoughts, feelings, and favorite gestures...and leverage them to your advantage Implant whatever ideas and beliefs you want into the minds of people you want to persuade, control, or seduce ...and a WHOLE lot more. And once you have these powers, trust me-the temptation to misuse them will certainly be strong. Fight the urge. Stay true to your principles. And use what you're about to learn to help yourself and others-for your own good, as well as theirs.- - Author and persuasion expert MICHAEL WITCOFF -One of the most frighteningly powerful books imaginable. It shows how to make a real life Manchurian Candidate complete with alternate personalities and amnesia. A process I didn't feel was possible till now.- DAVID BARRON a.k.a. DANTALION JONES - 8-time bestselling author including Mind Control 101 -If there was a manual on how to be James Bond, this is it.- -TIM O'KEEFE -Chase Hughes is like Robert Cialdini on steroids.- -ZACH HANDA |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy for trust issues: Stand & Watch It Burn Lexie Lea, 2022-02-24 When Elizabeth Maddox is thrown into the corporate world after losing her father she soon realizes the hardest thing about betrayal is that it doesn't always come from your enemies. Secrets are uncovered as she dives deeper into her father's death and immerses herself as the new CEO at Centurion Inc. Her first day on the job reveals the biggest betrayal of all: magic exists. Unsure of who to trust, Elizabeth finds herself developing an unlikely friendship that may just help her finally get some answers. The question is: can they be trusted? She soon learns that each betrayal...begins with trust. |
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