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| couples therapy for cheating: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| couples therapy for cheating: Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life Tracy Schorn, 2016-05-10 Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity -- but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters -- their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more. Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead. |
| couples therapy for cheating: When Good People Have Affairs Mira Kirshenbaum, 2008-05-27 A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --See-if affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| couples therapy for cheating: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Infidelity Paul R. Peluso, 2007-06-15 When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other, it takes a lot of work by both parties involved to salvage the relationship. In today’s therapy-friendly climate, marriage/couples counseling is often a part of that rebuilding process. Many couples seek out professional therapy after an affair is out in the open, but often the act of infidelity is revealed while uncovering and discussing unrelated issues for which the couple is in counseling. And yet, amazingly, as common as this complex and difficult topic arises in therapy, there is relatively little professional literature devoted to understanding and treating infidelity. In this volume, Paul Peluso has assembled a truly impressive list of contributors from a range of disciplines and backgrounds, including marital therapy, family therapy, evolutionary psychology, marriage research, and cyberstudies, with the aim of filling this void. |
| couples therapy for cheating: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Cheating in a Nutshell Wayne Mitchell, Tamara Mitchell, 2019-09-08 Cheated on…Battered by emotion…You don't know where to turn. You feel betrayed, devastated, embarrassed, angry, and completely heartbroken. You ask yourself, How can I stop infidelity from ruining my life? How do I cope with this nightmare? You don't realize there is a roadmap that explains what you are going through. That roadmap is Cheating in a Nutshell. Knowledge is Power and Understanding is Liberating. Whatever shade of infidelity you're dealing with, it is powerfully painful – and the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. Understanding your pain will change your way of thinking almost immediately. This book is for you if: --You just learned your partner cheated on you --You have been staying with a cheating partner --You were betrayed in a past relationship and seek a deeper understanding of your feelings In Cheating in a Nutshell, Wayne and Tamara Mitchell explain the source of your pain. There is a way out of this darkness, and the first step is to understand the structure of this awful experience. The focus is on the betrayed, not the cheater, and if you've been cheated on, I agree with other reviewers: This is the best book, the only one you need. – Reader Review It's never too late to understand why you feel as you do. Read Cheating in a Nutshell. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The New Monogamy Tammy Nelson, 2013-01-02 Everyone has their own concept of what “monogamy” means—and most people assume their partners and spouses are on the same page. Couples may assume that they are monogamous, but never discuss exactly what the monogamy agreement means to them. What happens when this implicit agreement is broken? After infidelity, relationships can become strained as both partners lose trust and faith in each other. The New Monogamy offers a way out of these difficulties for couples struggling to stay together after infidelity. Couples make these implicit assumptions and agreements explicit so that each partner knows exactly what is expected of them in the future and what they can expect from their partner. Author Tammy Nelson helps couples regain trust, romance, and intimacy after infidelity by redefining the monogamy contract. The new monogamy contract is an explicit relationship agreement created after the affair that allows each partner to openly, honestly, and safely share their desires, expectations, and limitations. This agreement does not create an open marriage, but rather, an open conversation wherein each partner can have a say in setting the ground rules for their relationship. The book first helps couples rebuild trust after the affair, then engages in a series of Imago dialogues based on questions about what each partner really wants in the relationship, not what you think you should want or what a partner wants you to want. The New Monogamy includes questionnaires, checklists, and candid questions for partners to ask that help welcome complete honesty and trust back into the relationship. Then, the book helps couples make an erotic recovery from infidelity by addressing erotic problems that may surface and offers advice for helping couples return to desiring and trusting one another. After an affair, it’s impossible to go back to the way the relationship was before, but this book offers the chance for a new beginning. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Healing from Infidelity Michele Weiner-Davis, 2017 Little compares to the devastation people feel upon discovering their spouse has been unfaithful. Shocked, devastated and overwhelmed, couples often hit stalemates as they struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never-ending arguments about the betrayal. Based on over three decades of experience helping couples recover from betrayal and save their marriages, Weiner-Davis offers a step-by-step program to help readers: - Deal with traumatic feelings after the discovery - Respond to questions about the affair - Talk about intense emotions without arguing - End the affair - Offer apologies that are sincere and healing - Overcome flashbacks and painful memories - Rebuild trust and accountability - Make their marriage stronger than before the affair - Find forgiveness - Reconnect sexually This book is filled with case vignettes of couples whose lives were shattered by betrayal but have eventually recovered and thrived.--Publisher's description. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Wired for Love Stan Tatkin, 2024-06-01 Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together. —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges. —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Affair Healing Tim Tedder, 2017-02-06 |
| couples therapy for cheating: After the Affair Janis A. Spring, 2008-07-08 After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: Why did it happen? Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? How do we become sexually intimate again? Is forgiveness possible? What constitutes an affair in cyberspace? |
| couples therapy for cheating: True Love Dates Debra K. Fileta, 2013-10-08 It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to kiss dating goodbye but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Marriage Is Not For Chickens Margaret Rutherford, 2018-11-18 When Dr. Margaret sat down to write about her almost 24 year-old marriage, what emerged was the same number of feisty and honest thoughts about what marriage is, and what it definitely is not. Now accompanied by evocative images from around the world by photographers Deborah Strauss and Christine Mathias, her words bring a knowing smile, a nod of the head, and a recognition of hard-earned truth. This slim volume packs a punch and is a perfect gift to honor those who’ve loved each other for years, to guide those who’ve only recently considered commitment…or to keep for yourself. Keywords: Dr. Margaret Rutherford, humor and love marrige books, advice books for newly married couples, marriage books for couples, great gift books for weddings |
| couples therapy for cheating: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| couples therapy for cheating: I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You Andrew G Marshall, 2010-02-15 How do you fall back in love? This was the underlying problem of one in four couples seeking help from relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall. They described their problem as: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. Noticing how widespread the phenomenon had become, he decided to look more closely. Why were these relationships becoming defined more by companionship than by passion, and why was companionship no longer enough? From his research Andrew has devised his own unique programme. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, share love, take responsibility, give and learn he offers in seven steps a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves, strengthen their bond and recover that lost magic. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Surviving an Affair Willard F. Jr. Harley, Jennifer Harley Chalmers, 1998-11 A practical guide to coping with infidelity, explaining how affairs begin, how to end them, and how to restore the marriage afterwards. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Life Anonymous Kristin M Snowden, Scott Brassart, 2020-12-04 This book is for anyone who wants to get out of a painful internal or interpersonal cycle and seek a better way of living.The 12-Step model for recovery and healing has helped millions of addicts worldwide not only find and maintain sobriety but live healthier, happier, more intimately connected lives. But for some reason, this formula has never taken root beyond the recovering addict community. Until now. Kristin M. Snowden, a non-addict and therapist, and Scott Brassart, a long-recovering addict and author, have both worked and benefitted from the 12 Steps. And they have both wondered why-when it is so clear to them that the 12 Steps can help any person (addicted or not)-this proven program for healthy change is not more widely utilized. That is why Life Anonymous was written, with Kristin and Scott using their personal and professional journeys to show how every person can use the 12 Steps to ignite profound change. You don't need to be an addict and you don't need extreme or obvious symptoms such as debilitating depression or anxiety to get something meaningful from this book. You don't even need to be in relationship with an addict. The simple truth is that people in deep struggle can appear to be quite high functioning. The 12 Steps are about identifying what is not working in our lives and making changes to better both ourselves and our relationships. Ultimately, healthy connection with self and others is what it's all about.Whoever you are, whatever your situation, your life can be better. Much better. And the 12 Step process described in these pages can help you make that happen. |
| couples therapy for cheating: We Do Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, 2018-12-01 “If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run.” An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a “we”—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? “All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships,” writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. “You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.” In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundationIt’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occurUnderstand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and moreNumerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflectionsDozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and securityHandling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomesBuild a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Chatting Or Cheating Sheri Meyers, 2012-03 Whether the reader suspects his or her partner of cheating, or is the one who's been engaging in a secret affair, Meyers describes the process of discovery, confrontation, confession, and healing that can save a relationship and make it even better. |
| couples therapy for cheating: When You're the One Who Cheats Tammy Nelson, 2019-02-11 A must read for anyone who's been thinking about having an affair. Includes real-life narratives of people who have cheated. Provides insights for those who are single and cheating with a married person. Offers therapists, clergy, and counselors a look into the cheater's motivation. |
| couples therapy for cheating: You Can Go Home Again Monica McGoldrick, 1997-06-03 In this revelatory book, esteemed family therapist Monica McGoldrick explores why families behave as they do, using genograms (family trees) to illustrate family patterns. Mapped out over a three-generation span, repeated estrangements, alliances, even divorces and suicides, prove more than coincidental. McGoldrick uses the genograms of famous families - including the Kennedys, Hepburns, Beethovens and Brontes - the discuss the influence of birth order and sibling rivalry, family myths and secrets, cultural differences, couple relationships and the pivotal role of loss. Relevant questions to ask appear at the end of each chapter, helping the reader become researcher, uncovering information previously withheld, misunderstood or overlooked. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy for cheating: Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Joe Kort, 2014-09-11 Jennifer can’t believe it. Just married and pregnant, she discovers that her husband has been meeting Brad for sex. When confronted, Tom doesn’t deny it, but he insists it’s just “a thing” and he isn’t gay. Elsewhere, John’s wife, Karen, discovers that her husband likes to watch gay porn. John doesn’t understand his wife’s reaction. Why does she care what he watches if he’s not unfaithful? In couple’s therapy, Karen and Jennifer raise the same questions: Does this mean my husband is gay? Can my marriage survive? These and other stories illustrate the difficulties inherent when a wife or girlfriend finds out her man has had or wants to have sexual contact with other men. But many times, the man is not gay or even bisexual. Of course, some men with gay sexual interests are gay men in a process of self-discovery; they are “coming out.” These desires may only reflect a different side of a man’s sexuality or some response to childhood trauma or experiences they have not fully processed. Here Joe Kort and Alexander P. Morgan make the distinction between gay men and “straight men with gay interests” clearer to women who want to know how they can overcome these revelations. The authors explain the many reasons why straight men may be drawn to gay sex; how to tell whether a man is gay, straight, or bisexual; and what the various options are for these couples, who can often go on to have very fulfilling marriages. Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? is intended to help couples understand how male sexuality can express itself in ways that may be difficult to understand. Many marriages have been hurriedly terminated when couples (and their therapists) have lacked the information they needed to understand their current situations. This book provides the clarity, describes the choices, and (in many cases) offers hope for relationships and marriages that have been brushed off as doomed. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Getting Past the Affair Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon, 2007-01-06 This book has been replaced by Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4748-7. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity Scott Haltzman, 2013-06 Along with changes in the workplace and the explosive growth of electronic communications, there has been a skyrocketing rate of infidelity. This title teaches both the victim and the perpetrator of infidelity how to acknowledge their feelings, reduce their sense of despair, and begin the difficult task of rebuilding a strong relationship. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Reigniting the Spark Bruce Chalmer, 2020-02-29 Learn how to have better sex with your partner and build a lasting, satisfying relationship in this guide by a seasoned couples therapist. Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s Reigniting the Spark shows couples how to build a lasting relationship full of passion and fulfillment. You’ll find out how to improve your communication, have better sex, and avoid pointless arguments. Dr. Chalmer combines his expertise in science with thirty years of experience as a couples therapist to show how you can restore intimacy and overcome any relationship problem to create and maintain a lively, loving, lasting relationship. He offers a unique perspective on the role of faith—not necessarily religious—in relationships. Whatever your faith background, religious or secular, Dr. Chalmer’s approach to faith as a key to unlocking intimacy will inform and inspire you. This book explores the most common issues that sap the happiness out of a relationship and shows you exactly what to do to turn it around. Written in a relatable and easy-to-understand style, Reigniting the Spark will help you better understand yourself and your partner so you can both be more satisfied. Whether you’re reading alone or with a partner, this book will teach you: How to build and restore intimacy, trust, and a deep connection in your relationship How to identify triggering issues like trauma that could be sapping the joy out of your relationship, and exactly what to do about it A list of bad reasons people get married—and one good one How to go from plain old sex, to good sex, to sacred sex How to be your best self when your partner has been unfaithful How to know when to break up, and when to work through the inevitable growing pains in your relationship Reigniting the Spark is for any couple who’s ready to create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Perfect for fans of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Jon Gottman and Nan Silver, Kosher Sex by Shmuley Boteach, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendricks and Helen LaKelly Hunt. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy Jay L. Lebow, 2012-07-05 The latest theory, research, and practice information for family therapy The last twenty years have seen an explosion of new, innovative, and empirically supported therapeutic approaches for treating families. Mental health professionals working with families today apply a wide range of approaches to a variety of situations and clients using techniques based on their clinically and empirically proven effectiveness, their focus on specific individual and relational disorders, their applicability in various contexts, and their prominence in the field. In this accessible and comprehensive text, each chapter covers specific problems, the theoretical and practical elements of the treatment approach, recommended intervention strategies, special considerations, supporting research, and clinical examples. The contributors provide step-by-step guidelines for implementing the approaches described and discuss particular issues that arise in different couple, family, and cultural contexts. Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy covers treatment strategies for the most common problems encountered in family therapy, including: Domestic violence Adolescent defiance, anxiety, and depression Trauma-induced problems Stepfamily conflicts ADHD disruption Substance abuse in adults and adolescents Couple conflict and divorce Chronic illness A detailed reference for today's best treatment strategies, the Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy brings together the top practitioners and scholars to produce an innovative and user-friendly guide for clinicians and students alike. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The Couple's Guide to Intimacy Bill Bercaw, 2010 As psychologists specializing in treating sex addiction, our jobs require us to work closely with people whose lives have fallen apart. Not all couples choose to rebuild, and that is always a very personal decision. This book is for those who do, and then often find themselves wondering, How can we have a healthy sex life after sex addiction? We have answered this question by developing Sexual Reintegration Therapy(SRT). If you have a vision for a better relationship, SRT gives you the plan. Even if you cannot see clearly how your wounded relationship can be healed, SRT will offer you that hope. SRT consists of a progressive series of clearly defined experiences (that we have been using successfully with our clients for years) that will help you address core intimacy issues that need upgrading. The lack of a structured program to promote healthy sexuality after sexual addiction has been a major source of frustration for many couples. It is also why so many of our professional colleagues, including Dr. Patrick Carnes, have been urging us to publish this book. A man who was nearing the end of the SRT program with his wife summed up his experience this way: This program has been more helpful to us than anything else we've tried. We knew what we wanted- we just needed a plan that could get us there. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Credence Penelope Douglas, 2024-02-13 Three of them, one of her, and a remote cabin in the woods. Let the hot, winter nights ensue in this steamy dark romance from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas, now with bonus material. Tiernan de Haas doesn't care about anything anymore. The only child of a film producer and his starlet wife, she's grown up with wealth and privilege but not love or guidance. And when her parents suddenly pass away, she knows she should be devastated. But she's always been alone, hasn't she? Jake Van der Berg, her father's stepbrother and her only living relative, assumes guardianship of Tiernan. Sent to live in the mountains of Colorado with Jake and his two sons, Noah and Kaleb, Tiernan quickly learns that these men now have a say in what she chooses to care and not care about anymore. As the men take Tiernan under their wing, she slowly finds her place among them. Because lines blur and rules become easy to break when no one else is watching. One of them has her. The other one wants her. But he's going to keep her. |
| couples therapy for cheating: The Art of Falling in Love Joe Beam, 2013 Describes the lovepath, the author's process for finding and maintaining true love. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Deader Than a Dodo Gene Huston, 2021-10-07 Lonesome George, the last Pinta Island tortoise on earth, hates a lot of things; people, goats, even his own existence. After forty years alone at the Charles Darwin Research Station, he longs for his extinction to finally come. But when his time arrives, it's not at all what he expects. George is awakened one night in a garden to find himself being asked by nine already extinct animals to lead them on a mission to save mankind. How can one tortoise save the world? Why is he the only one who can lead these animals? What happens if they don't succeed? Despite George's best efforts, one creature is captured, one succumbs to fear, and one creature meets a tragic end. If the dodo and the others fail, they simply return to the splendor of the Garden. For George, his place in the Garden is not assured, which leaves him facing the possibility of being deader than a dodo. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy for cheating: Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity Katherine Milewski Hertlein, Fred P Piercy, Joseph L. Wetchler, 2013-03-07 Help your clients’ relationships survive infidelity! In the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, a panel of seasoned experts reflects on issues central to affairs, and on how to help couples heal and learn from them. First, editors Fred P. Piercy, Katherine M. Hertlein, and Joseph L. Wetchler provide an essential overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. They discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelity—emotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. They review the relatively new role of the Internet in infidelity and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, they discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment. Also in the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity: Susan M. Johnson, the co-developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), discusses affairs through the lens of attachment theory, and shows how EFT provides a way to acknowledge and express pain, remorse, and regret, and to repair this attachment bond. David Moultrup takes a Bowenian approach to infidelity, focusing attention on the underlying dynamics of the emotional system Frank Pittman and Tina Pittman Wagers outline cultural myths about affairs and do their share of debunking Adrian Blow discusses how to help couples directly address their pain—and the challenges of the healing process Brian Case highlights the role of apology and forgiveness in the healing process Frank Stalfa and Catherine Hastings focus on the treatment of “accusatory suffering”—a spouse’s obsessive holding onto and retaliating for an affair long after it has ended, and despite the offending partner’s repeated apologies and attempts at restitution Don-David Lusterman discusses individuals who have suppressed or denied traumatic stress reactions to their partner’s affair, and how to help them Scott Johnson discusses myths about affairs, from who is cheating on whom, to whether men really have more affairs than women, to the blame-filled language of “affairs,” “betrayal,” and “infidelity,” asking us to think more systematically about affairs and to see the dynamics of extra dyadic relationships as more complex and nuanced than they are typically portrayed in the literature Joan Atwood provides an overview of Internet infidelity—the factors influencing one’s involvement in this type of infidelity, and some considerations for therapists Tim Nelson, Fred Piercy, and Doug Sprenkle report on the results of a multi-phase Delphi study that explored what infidelity experts say are the critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity Monica Whitty and Adrian Carr draw upon Klein’s object relations theory and discuss how this might influence the way people rationalize their Internet infidelity Emily Brown outlines the concept of the Split Self Affair—discussing its origins, characteristics, and implications for individuals and couples, and providing detailed information on how to work with these couples in therapy Michael Bettinger presents extra dyadic relationship as a fact, rather than a problem, within many gay male relationships—a discussion that shows how gay male polyamory can work as an alternative to the heterosexual model of emotional and sexual exclusivity in romantic dyadic relationships Katherine Hertlein and Gary Skaggs report on the results of a study that assessed the level of differentiation and one’s engagement in extra dyadic relationships The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity is essential reading for today’s (and tomorrow’s) clinicians who work with couples. Make it a p |
| couples therapy for cheating: Family Therapy Michael P. Nichols, 2013 Family Therapy: Concepts & Methods describes and analyzes the field of family therapy, covering its history, schools, and developments. Numerous case studies throughout the text help students understand the link between history, theory, and practice. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Divorced Girl Smiling Jackie Pilossoph, 2014 Smile! It's not just the end of your marriage, it's the beginning of your second chance!Missy Benson has a two and a half carat diamond engagement ring with color grade H, VS2 clarity and a value of $36,000. It's absolutely gorgeous, practically flawless, and let's be honest, really big!But what the successful Chicago realtor doesn't have anymore is a husband. After 12 years of marriage, her husband, Paul, a handsome, wealthy attorney has devastated her by breaking up their marriage for Priscilla Sommerfeld, a young, personal trainer, who according to Missy's sassy assistant, J.J., looks more like a Las Vegas stripper than a fitness expert.Not sure what to do with her ring, and with no financial issues to worry about, Missy decides to put it up for sale on Craigslist. The price: 99 cents! The catch: She gets to pick the buyer. In essence, she's looking for the perfect guy, but not for herself. Her hope is to regain faith that good men do exist, and that marriages can last forever.Now referring to herself as the divorced girl, Missy interviews dozens of young men who are vying for the huge ring. It's a contest that includes outrageous characters, hilarious and sentimental stories, and two finalists, both of whom Missy adores and who she must choose between. Then there's Parker Missoni, the sexiest contestant by far, who drives her crazy with his brutal honesty, and at the same time stops her heart with his deep brown eyes.Divorced Girl Smiling is the story of a woman's journey to do whatever it takes to heal herself from divorce. It's about acceptance, reflection, taking accountability for mistakes, and appreciating all of life's wonderful gifts. In other words, if you have the guts to put the past behind, admit your mistakes, embrace your future, and give love another chance, you will surely be a divorced girl smiling. |
| couples therapy for cheating: Treating Infidelity Gerald R. Weeks, Nancy Gambescia, Robert E. Jenkins, 2003 Infidelity is one of the leading presenting problems for couples entering counseling. |
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