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| couples therapy emotional abuse: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: From Charm to Harm: Amy Lewis Bear, 2014-02-18 The lack of language to identify emotional abuse and its aftermath among couples is a major barrier to recognition and treatment. From Charm to Harm breaks down this barrier by providing simple words and definitions that name and explain harmful interactions between intimate partners. Many of these interactions, although emotionally toxic, are hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. From Charm to Harm will empower you to recognize and describe the psychological destruction wrought by an intimate partner who claims to love you. It will provide you with ways to protect yourself and your loved ones in current and future relationships. Determine if your mate is emotionally abusive, the effects on you, and how you may be enabling the abuse. Find out how and why charm turns to harm when one partner has a deep-seated need to control the other partner. Discover why people abuse their lovers, why their lovers allow it, how it happens, and its aftermath. Learn how easy it is to get caught up in the oppressive cycle of emotional abuse and how you might be contributing to your own suffering. Learn how to stand up to an abusive partner, get treatment for both partners, and make the choice to leave or stay in the relationship. From Charm to Harm will help you stop the cycle of emotional abuse and claim your right to be loved and respected by your mate. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft, 2003-09-02 In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi, 2011-11-01 From the bestselling author of Why Does He Do That? comes a relationship book that will help you make the decision of whether or not your troubled relationship is worth saving. Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward. If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to: • Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working • Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems • Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority • Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner • Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving • Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage Leslie Vernick, 2013-09-17 Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Life-Saving Divorce Gretchen Baskerville, 2020-02 You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In The Life-Saving Divorce You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship Beverly Engel, 2002-11-29 Engel doesn't just describe-she shows us the way out. -Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for theemotionally abusive relationship In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offersstep-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping bothvictims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful andtraumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individualsand for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotionalabuse. -Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotionalabuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showingeach party what emotional abuse is, how it affects therelationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamicrelationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp thetools for change and really use them. -Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and owner of BPDCentral.com The number of people who become involved with partners who abusethem emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves isphenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form ofabuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world'sleading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to doabout it. Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that youmight be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both youand your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book isfor you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how toidentify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of yourbehavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps toheal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow youand your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst ineach other and stop the abuse. By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to helpthemselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stopabusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expertguidance and support you need. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 Up to 65% of couples who seek therapy for marital problems have had at least one prior violent episode. Unfortunately, therapists often miss this critical information because they do not effectively assess for it. This book presents a safety-focused approach to assessment and treatment of couples who choose to remain together after one or both partners have been violent. Treatment options for intimate partner violence have evolved alongside the growing awareness and broader definitions of domestic violence. Since 1997 the authors have conducted Domestic Violence Focused Couples Treatment (DVFCT), collected data, and refined their program. The authors outline their assessment and screening process and share case illustrations to demonstrate when conjoint treatment can be a safe and viable option. Readers get an overview of the 18-session course of DVFCT and tips for adapting it for multi-couple groups or for a single couple. The major tenets of solution-focused therapy, such as underscoring even the smallest of successes, are emphasized throughout, as are the following special features: -safety planning -mindfulness techniques for anger awareness and reduction -negotiated time-out procedures -drug and alcohol use modules -psychoeducational tools and materials on violence Therapists will learn how to assess intimate partner violence and help couples eliminate all forms of violence and begin on a positive path toward their vision of a healthy relationship. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors Susan M. Johnson, 2011-11-03 This book provides a theoretical framework and a practical model of intervention for distressed couples whose relationships are affected by the echoes of trauma. Combining attachment theory, trauma research, and emotionally focused therapeutic techniques, Susan M. Johnson guides the clinician in modifying the interactional patterns that maintain traumatic stress and fostering positive, healing relationships among survivors and their partners. In-depth case material brings to life the process of assessment and treatment with couples coping with the impact of different kinds of trauma, including childhood abuse, serious illness, and combat experiences. The concluding chapter features valuable advice on therapist self-care. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Center For Peace Anne Blythe, 2019-06-09 Many men don't understand that their thinking processes create abusive behaviors. These behaviors cause anxiety and fear for their wives. This journal is for clients of Center For Peace in their journey to become emotionally, psychologically, physically, and sexually safe for their wives and children. For more information visit cenfp.org |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Love Without Hurt Steven Stosny, 2008-01-01 An essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship Are you the victim of a chronic anger, verbal or emotional abuse? Do you constantly second-guess your thoughts and behavior to avoid being hurt or put down by your husband or boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship, you can end the abuse and rebuild a loving, compassionate environment for you and your family. In Love Without Hurt, psychotherapist Dr. Steven Stosny explains the many forms of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships so you can identify abuse and why it's so important to take action to change your relationship-especially because, if you have children, they have become innocent victims of the same abuse. Drawing from the revolutionary techniques of his CompassionPower boot camp, this practical program shows you self-healing techniques to help you recover from the pain and abuse, as well as methods for your partner to rewire his anger, resentment, and abusive behavior. Love Without Hurt is an essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Behavioral Couples Therapy for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Timothy J. O'Farrell, William Fals-Stewart, 2012-03-12 This eminently practical guide presents an empirically supported approach for treating people with substance abuse problems and their spouses or domestic partners. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) explicitly focuses on both substance use and relationship issues, and is readily compatible with 12-step approaches. In a convenient large-size format, the book provides all the materials needed to introduce BCT; implement a recovery contract to support abstinence; work with clients to increase positive activities, improve communication, and reduce relapse risks; and deal with special treatment challenges. Appendices include a session-by-session treatment manual and 70 reproducible checklists, forms, and client education posters. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Emotionally Destructive Relationship Leslie Vernick, 2007-08-15 Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to: Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt Confront and speak truth when the timing is right Determine when to keep trying, when to get out Get safe and stay safe Build an identity in Christ This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples Leslie S. Greenberg, Susan M. Johnson, 1988-10-07 This influential volume provides a comprehensive introduction to emotionally focused therapy (EFT): its theoretical foundations, techniques, and clinical practice. EFT is a structured approach to couple therapy that integrates intrapsychic and interpersonal perspectives to help couples create new, more satisfying interactional patterns. Since the original publication of this book, EFT has been implemented and tested with growing numbers of couples in a wide range of settings. The authors, who codeveloped the approach, illuminate the power of emotional experience in relationships and in the process of therapeutic change. The book is richly illustrated with case examples and session transcripts. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Feelings and Faith Brian S. Borgman, 2009-04-01 Weaves together biblical exposition and practical application to demonstrate how emotions relate to the Christian life. Emotions are a vital part of what it means to be a human being made in the image of God and redeemed in Jesus Christ. But often our emotions confuse and mislead us. So what is the proper place for emotions in a Christian's walk of faith? In Feelings and Faith Brian Borgman draws from his extensive biblical knowledge and his pastoral experience to help readers understand both divine and human emotions. After laying a biblical foundation he moves on to practical application, focusing on how Christians can put to death ungodly emotional displays and also cultivate godly emotions. This biblically informed, practical volume is helpful for pastors, counselors, and serious-minded Christians who wish to develop a full-orbed faith that encompasses their emotional life. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Emotion-focused Couples Therapy Leslie S. Greenberg, Rhonda N. Goldman, 2008 In Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy: The Dynamics of Emotion, Love, and Power, authors Leslie S. Greenberg and Rhonda N. Goldman explore the foundations of emotionally focused therapy for couples. They expand its framework to focus more intently on the development of the self and the relationship system through the promotion of self-soothing and other-soothing; to deal with unmet needs both from the client's adulthood and childhood; and to work more explicitly with emotions, specifically fear, anxiety, shame, power, joy, and love. The authors discuss the affect regulation involved in three major motivational systems central to couples therapy - attachment, identity, and attraction and clarify emotions and motivations in the dominance dimension of couples' interactions.Written with practitioners and graduate students in mind, the authors use a rich variety of case material to demonstrate how working with emotions can facilitate change in couples and, by extension, in all situations where people may be in emotional conflict with others. Greenberg and Goldman provide the tools needed to identify specific emotions and show the reader how to work with them to resolve conflict and promote bonding in couples therapy. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Stop Hurting the Woman You Love Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, 2010-06-28 A first-ever how-to book to help abusive men change their behavior by changing their thinking. End the cycle of abuse - for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy Carmen Knudson-Martin, Melissa A. Wells, Sarah K. Samman, 2015-02-02 This path-breaking volume introduces Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy for clinical work with troubled couples. Practice-focused and engaging, it integrates real-world knowledge of the intersections of gender, culture, power, and identity in relationships with empirical findings on the neurobiology of attraction. Case examples detail the process of therapists in the moment as they develop both their clinical skills and their understanding of the social contexts fueling couples' difficulties. Applications of the method, which can be used with same-sex couples as well as heterosexual ones, are shown in addressing infidelity, tapping into partners' spirituality, and modeling and encouraging mutual respect and support. Among the topics covered: Undoing gendered power in heterosexual couple relationships. Interpersonal neurobiology, couples, and the societal context. How gender discourses hijack couple therapy—and how it can be avoided. How SERT therapists develop interventions that address the larger context. Building a circle of care in same-sex couple relationships. Couple therapy with adult survivors of child abuse: gender, power, and trust. Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy opens out practical new possibilities for marriage and family therapists, clinical psychologists, social workers, and counselors seeking ideas for more meaningful couples work. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about it Patricia Love, Steven Stosny, 2007-01-01 Offers practical suggestions for how to enhance a marriage, explains behaviors that can break up a marriage, and argues that talking about a relationship will not bring partners closer together. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma Heather B. MacIntosh, 2019-04-09 Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma provides therapists with comprehensive and practical guidance for integrating DCTCT into their work with traumatized couples. The book includes an evidence-based framework which emphasizes the importance of containing conflict and helps clients to build emotional regulation and mentalizing skills. The framework is an invaluable asset to all clinicians working with couples dealing with the ravaging impacts of complex trauma, who may not be able to benefit from traditional forms of couple therapy due to challenges in regulating emotions, mentalizing and other aspects of the complex trauma response that limit capacity to engage in relationships and couple therapy. The chapters guide you through the four key stages of DCTCT: Psychoeducation, Building Capacity, Dyadic Processing, and Consolidation. Each stage has accompanying activities and narratives in which to engage traumatized couples and includes a variety of case transcripts to illustrate the approach. Throughout the manual the author provides the reader with: insights from real-world scenarios based on her extensive clinical experience; worksheets that can be used as part of the therapeutic process; systematic analyses of the therapeutic process from the therapist’s point of view; comprehensive recommendations for further reading so that you can develop your expertise in any area of DCTCT. Never losing sight of the fact that the therapist plays an essential role as a coach and mentor for those undertaking couple therapy, this manual is a valuable tool for any clinician working to engage traumatized couples and equip them with the skills they need to develop and maintain a strong and vibrant couple relationship. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Psychological Maltreatment of Children Nelson J. Binggeli, Stuart N. Hart, Marla R. Brassard, 2001-07-19 Psychological Maltreatment of Children is a brief introduction to the emotional abuse of children and youth metnal health professionals, child welfare specialists, and other professionals involved with research, education, practice, and policy de Copyright © Libri GmbH. All rights reserved. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Women with Controlling Partners Carol A Lambert, 2016-12-01 A controlling or abusive partner can break even the strongest person—unless you know what to look for. Written by an expert in intimate partner abuse and based on her highly successful recovery program for women with controlling partners, this book will give you the strength, courage, and strategies you need to acknowledge the problem and stand up for yourself once and for all—whether you stay or leave the relationship. If you have a controlling partner, you aren’t alone. Millions of women suffer psychological abuse at the hands of a spouse or intimate partner during some point in their lives, not fully seeing or knowing what is happening to them. Research shows that psychological abuse affects women’s overall well-being more than physical abuse, is a bigger contributor to inducing fear, and can be a precursor to violence. To make matters worse, having a controlling partner often results in hidden injuries like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, and low self-efficacy—feeling like you can’t make a difference in your life. So, where can you turn for help? Based on over a decade of clinical and domestic abuse research, Women with Controlling Partners will help you identify the coercive constraints that can be predictive of intimate partner abuse, recognize the harmful effects of psychological abuse on your mental and physical health, and gain the personal strength and power to break free. Using the author’s three-stage recovery model, you’ll be empowered to move out of denial, deconstruct what holds you psychologically captive, and take back your life. Abuse can be devastating, and having a controlling partner can make you feel crazy—and as if you’re the one responsible. But you’re not crazy, and you’re not to blame! With this important, one-of-a-kind recovery process, you’ll finally find the clarity of mind, courage, and strength to protect yourself from the hurtful control that damages your mental and physical health, and move toward a safer and happier life. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling Jon Carlson, Shannon B. Dermer, 2016-09-15 The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family and Couples Counseling is a new, all-encompassing, landmark work for researchers seeking to broaden their knowledge of this vast and diffuse field. Marriage and family counseling programs are established at institutions worldwide, yet there is no current work focused specifically on family therapy. While other works have discussed various methodologies, cases, niche aspects of the field and some broader views of counseling in general, this authoritative Encyclopedia provides readers with a fully comprehensive and accessible reference to aid in understanding the full scope and diversity of theories, approaches, and techniques and how they address various life events within the unique dynamics of families, couples, and related interpersonal relationships. Key topics include: Assessment Communication Coping Diversity Interventions and Techniques Life Events/Transitions Sexuality Work/Life Issues, and more Key features include: More than 500 signed articles written by key figures in the field span four comprehensive volumes Front matter includes a Reader’s Guide that groups related entries thematically Back matter includes a history of the development of the field, a Resource Guide to key associations, websites, and journals, a selected Bibliography of classic publications, and a detailed Index All entries conclude with Further Readings and Cross References to related entries to aid the reader in their research journey |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Not To People Like Us Susan Weitzman, 2008-08-01 This important book brings the ignored population of abused upper-income women to light, revealing for the first time the depth and severity of upscale abuse How is it possible for a highly educated woman with a career and resources of her own to stay in a marriage with an abusive husband? How can a man be considered a pillar of his community, run a successful business and regularly give his wife a black eye? That we can even ask these startling questions proves how convinced we are that domestic abuse is restricted to the lower classes. In Not to People Like Us psychotherapist Susan Weitzman dramatically challenges this assumption. It is the first book to explore a previously overlooked population of emotionally and physically battered wives-the upper-educated and upper-income women, who rarely report abuse and remain trapped by their own silence. Weitzman draws on an in-depth study to document the shocking nature and incidence of abuse among the wives of professors, physicians and CEOs-many of them professionals and executives themselves. With keen insight and profound sensitivity, she reveals the unique path taken by the upscale wife-the early warning signs, the dilemmas and decisions, the dangerous desire to cover up and maintain appearances. The first book to condemn the legal and social service system for failing to recognize domestic violence among upper-income families, Not to People Like Us offers crucial information to help women find their way out of abusive relationships and toward safety and independence. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Beyond Messy Relationships Judy K. Herman, 2019-06-04 Discover your true self and find hope beyond your messy relationships! As a mental health therapist, Judy prepares to see her next client. As a wife, she falls apart in the midst of her husband’s psychosis. His inpatient psychiatrist says, “This is going to be a hard case”. Judy’s first marriage of 29 years ended in divorce after toxic patterns of chronic bitterness. Facing the shame of her past and mothering four children, she recognizes divine invitations toward her authentic self. After four years into a new marriage with her beloved dance partner, Judy suddenly faces frightful realities. Can Judy’s second marriage recover from damage caused by his psychosis? Beyond Messy Relationships is not only an intense and dramatic memoir. It’s a mix of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration that helps readers make sense of their deep feelings. In Beyond Messy Relationships, readers: Discover they’re not alone as they resonate with the messy relationships of a licensed professional counselor Learn a simple formula of A.I.R. to experience freedom beyond the messes Connect the dots from their past to their present Overcome shame so they can experience the freedom they long for Within Beyond Messy Relationships, readers find hope through the formula of breathing in fresh A.I.R.: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks and recognize divine invitations beyond the messes. Finding your authentic self is worth the journey. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships John Welwood, 2005-12-27 A nationally known couples therapist reveals the single root cause of all relationship problems—and offers revolutionary advice on what to do about it While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. If love is so great and powerful, why are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal ‘wound of the heart’ that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This core wound shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. It shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace these imperfections—within ourselves and within our relationships—as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? Avery Neal, 2018-03-27 Free yourself from toxic relationships with “the new gold standard in abuse recovery” from the founder of the Women’s Therapy Clinic (Jackson MacKenzie, author of Whole Again). Foreword by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office ARE YOU A VICTIM OF SUBTLE ABUSE? Are you always the one apologizing? Constantly questioning and blaming yourself? Do you often feel confused, frustrated, and angry? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Nearly half of all women—and men—in the United States experience psychological abuse without realizing it. Manipulation, deception, and disrespect leave no physical scars, but they can be just as traumatic as physical abuse. In this groundbreaking book, Avery Neal, founder of the Women’s Therapy Clinic, helps you recognize the warning signs of subtle abuse. As you learn to identify patterns that have never made sense before, you are better equipped to make changes. From letting go of fear to setting boundaries, whether you’re gathering the courage to finally leave or learning how to guard against a chronically abusive pattern, If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? will help you enjoy a happy, healthy, fulfilling life, free of shame or blame. “This book can open eyes for people who may have lost pieces of themselves along the way. Great examples and exercises. It is a companion from start to finish.” —Dr. Jay Carter, author of Nasty People “No-nonsense insights and practical ways to regain control of and empower your life.” —Dr. George Simon, international bestselling author of In Sheep’s Clothing |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Overwhelmed Brain Paul Colaianni, 2016-11-17 Expert advice on personal growth and decision-making for deeper thinkers who want more than affirmations and clichés—from the host of the titular podcast. Your stress, anxiety and negative thoughts are huge obstacles to happiness. You must learn to make healthy decisions and place your needs first. This book, The Overwhelmed Brain, provides proven methodologies for smarter, actionable ways to: Be true to yourself Build positive relationships Overcome stress and anxiety Stop self-sabotage Make smart decisions Rise above your fears With tips, anecdotes, exercises and expert advice from popular life coach and podcaster Paul Colaianni, The Overwhelmed Brain will empower you to take control over your emotional well-being and act on your dreams, goals and values. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: When Love Goes Wrong Ann R. Jones, 1993-04-14 Millions of women each year find themselves in relationships with controlling or abusive partners and don't know what to do, or even what's wrong. A woman may feel anxious, inadequate, intimidated -- and as if she is walking on tiptoe. And she may find herself trying harder and harder to make things right without ever being successful. Ann Jones and Susan Schechter bring together their more than fifteen years of experience working with women in abusive relationships to offer an eyeopening new analysis of controlling partners and a wealth of empowering information for women who want to change their lives for the better. Full of moving first-person stories, When Love Goes Wrong shows women what their options are in or out of the relationship, provides concrete guidance on finding safety and support for themselves and their children, and includes a comprehensive list of agencies offering information or assistance. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Emotional Incest Syndrome Dr. Patricia Love, 2011-07-06 From Dr. Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Courage to Love... When Your Marriage Hurts Gerald Foley, 1992 In a social climate that actually encourages divorce rather than reconciliation, Courage to Love... offers help and hope instead. Building on the experience of Retrouvaille, a successful church-sponsored ministry that is rapidly gaining notice and taking root across North America, it focuses on relationship building. It invites couples to reconciliation, to rebuilding trust, to learning skills necessary for healthy communication, and to growing spirituality through the lived reality of married life. Courage To Love... emphasizes ways to counter cultural trends that are detrimental to permanent marriage and a strong family life while covering such crucial topics as self-awareness, conflict resolution, forgiveness, the stages of a relationship, and intimacy. Each chapter concludes with reflection and sharing questions that encourage dialogue and discussion between spouses. -- from back cover. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE Amanda Hope, 2021-05-06 Marriage is sacred. But what happens when “sacred” becomes “scared”? If you are in an abusive marriage, must you stay or go? People have so many reasons to stay in marriage, but so do those who chose not to stay in that kind of marriage. Despite being in a toxic marriage, it’s understandable that individuals decide to stay married not to be part of the statistics. However, it’s a harsh reality that some relationships come to a point when it becomes irreparable. There’s no other way but to walk away. EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE is a comprehensive guide for individuals going through this point of no return in their marriage. Abuse comes in many forms, and knowing each is crucial. Some people turn a blind eye to the signs; others are in denial, while others can’t see the hard truth because of their partner’s manipulation or other reasons. The book emphasizes the immediate need to see marriage clearly and knowing if your wedding is emotionally destructive. There are secrets to thriving marriages and relationships in general. Still, one also needs to identify patterns and factors that destroy its essence, causing damages to each other’s being. This guide also stresses the role of God in every relationship, where and when to start changes, and self-assessment. It’s right to try and save a relationship, but one needs to understand that, sometimes, testing can be destructive, too. Learn about other things that matter as well, such as: ✅ Building your core ✅ Preparing for sensible confrontation ✅ Learning to speak up and stand up in love and against destruction ✅ Acceptance when there are no changes ✅ Restoring relationships Every marriage is worth saving, but if a point comes when all efforts are accorded in vain... you know it’s time to let go. Can you be whole and start over again? Yes, you certainly can! Never lose your self-worth, read EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE, and get the right help. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Verbally Abusive Relationship Patricia Evans, 2010-01-18 |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage Natalie Hoffman, 2018 One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. Those women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.This book isn't for the parents who raised them. It's not for the pastors who condemn them. It's not for the friends who don't understand them. And it's not for the partner who dehumanizes them. This book is for the woman in the pew who somehow, by God's divine intervention, finds it in her hand and has to catch her breath because she suddenly feels like she's free falling.I wrote this book just for you. Let's dig in. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies Brent Bradley, James Furrow, 2013-07-15 A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world's most successful approach to couple therapy One of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships. An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors' case files Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist |
| couples therapy emotional abuse: MIXED NUTS Rick Cormier, 2016-04-21 Highly irreverent, but filled with wisdom and infused with deep caring, Mixed Nuts is a memoir of a life working in psychotherapy. Some people assume that all therapists are new-agey hand-holders who just listen and nod like bobbleheads, then suggest an astrology reading, a gluten-free diet, and your choice of complimentary love flower or polished healing stone on your way out the door. That's not me. My job is to help fix what's broken. Speaking to the layperson and the practitioner alike, even Rick's signature humor can't hide his deep understanding of mental illness, his desire to help heal it quickly and effectively, and his pragmatic and often creative approach to treatment. |
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