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| couples therapy abusive relationships: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 Up to 65% of couples who seek therapy for marital problems have had at least one prior violent episode. Unfortunately, therapists often miss this critical information because they do not effectively assess for it. This book presents a safety-focused approach to assessment and treatment of couples who choose to remain together after one or both partners have been violent. Treatment options for intimate partner violence have evolved alongside the growing awareness and broader definitions of domestic violence. Since 1997 the authors have conducted Domestic Violence Focused Couples Treatment (DVFCT), collected data, and refined their program. The authors outline their assessment and screening process and share case illustrations to demonstrate when conjoint treatment can be a safe and viable option. Readers get an overview of the 18-session course of DVFCT and tips for adapting it for multi-couple groups or for a single couple. The major tenets of solution-focused therapy, such as underscoring even the smallest of successes, are emphasized throughout, as are the following special features: -safety planning -mindfulness techniques for anger awareness and reduction -negotiated time-out procedures -drug and alcohol use modules -psychoeducational tools and materials on violence Therapists will learn how to assess intimate partner violence and help couples eliminate all forms of violence and begin on a positive path toward their vision of a healthy relationship. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi, 2011-11-01 From the bestselling author of Why Does He Do That? comes a relationship book that will help you make the decision of whether or not your troubled relationship is worth saving. Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward. If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to: • Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working • Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems • Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority • Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner • Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving • Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: From Charm to Harm: Amy Lewis Bear, 2014-02-18 The lack of language to identify emotional abuse and its aftermath among couples is a major barrier to recognition and treatment. From Charm to Harm breaks down this barrier by providing simple words and definitions that name and explain harmful interactions between intimate partners. Many of these interactions, although emotionally toxic, are hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. From Charm to Harm will empower you to recognize and describe the psychological destruction wrought by an intimate partner who claims to love you. It will provide you with ways to protect yourself and your loved ones in current and future relationships. Determine if your mate is emotionally abusive, the effects on you, and how you may be enabling the abuse. Find out how and why charm turns to harm when one partner has a deep-seated need to control the other partner. Discover why people abuse their lovers, why their lovers allow it, how it happens, and its aftermath. Learn how easy it is to get caught up in the oppressive cycle of emotional abuse and how you might be contributing to your own suffering. Learn how to stand up to an abusive partner, get treatment for both partners, and make the choice to leave or stay in the relationship. From Charm to Harm will help you stop the cycle of emotional abuse and claim your right to be loved and respected by your mate. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Behavioral Couples Therapy for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Timothy J. O'Farrell, William Fals-Stewart, 2012-03-12 This eminently practical guide presents an empirically supported approach for treating people with substance abuse problems and their spouses or domestic partners. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) explicitly focuses on both substance use and relationship issues, and is readily compatible with 12-step approaches. In a convenient large-size format, the book provides all the materials needed to introduce BCT; implement a recovery contract to support abstinence; work with clients to increase positive activities, improve communication, and reduce relapse risks; and deal with special treatment challenges. Appendices include a session-by-session treatment manual and 70 reproducible checklists, forms, and client education posters. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Life-Saving Divorce Gretchen Baskerville, 2020-02 You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In The Life-Saving Divorce You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Stop Hurting the Woman You Love Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, 2010-06-28 A first-ever how-to book to help abusive men change their behavior by changing their thinking. End the cycle of abuse - for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Treating the Abusive Partner Christopher Mark Murphy, Christopher I. Eckhardt, 2005-09-09 Detailing the first one-on-one cognitive-behavioral treatment approach for this highly challenging population, this resource provides a straightforward rationale and clear guidelines for implementing the authors' flexible four-phase model. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship Beverly Engel, 2002-11-29 Engel doesn't just describe-she shows us the way out. -Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for theemotionally abusive relationship In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offersstep-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping bothvictims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful andtraumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individualsand for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotionalabuse. -Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotionalabuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showingeach party what emotional abuse is, how it affects therelationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamicrelationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp thetools for change and really use them. -Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and owner of BPDCentral.com The number of people who become involved with partners who abusethem emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves isphenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form ofabuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world'sleading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to doabout it. Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that youmight be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both youand your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book isfor you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how toidentify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of yourbehavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps toheal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow youand your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst ineach other and stop the abuse. By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to helpthemselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stopabusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expertguidance and support you need. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage Leslie Vernick, 2013-09-17 Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft, 2003-09-02 In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: A Therapist's Guide to Growing Free Wendy Susan Deaton, Michael Hertica, 2014-01-14 Help victims and survivors break the cycle of abuse! Trying to get victims and survivors of domestic abuse to recognize their own victimization can be a frustrating experience. They often become so frightened, isolated, and self-doubting that they make excuses for the abuser. Combining psychological insight with practical safety information, this book helps therapists guide their clients into understanding--and ending--the vicious cycle of wooing, tension, violence, and remorse. A Therapist's Guide to Growing Free provides a comprehensive outline of the issues, tasks, and goals involved in the treatment of victims and survivors. Its chapter-by-chapter breakdown of how violent relationships function and how to end them safely can help you guide a traumatized woman through her therapeutic journey. The guide's companion volume, Growing Free: A Manual for Survivors of Domestic Violence is the perfect handout for clients in individual therapy, group therapy, and battered women's shelters. Reading stories like their own may provide the shock of recognition they need to be able to understand--and eventually to end--the cycle of violence that characterizes all levels of domestic abuse. It outlines a series of steps they can take to ensure their emotional and physical safety. Its stories of women in abusive relationships and discussions of the cycle of abuse are direct and easy to read without ever being condescending. A Therapist's Guide to Growing Free provides the insight and therapeutic models needed for effective intervention and treatment, including: psychological effects and belief systems of victims and survivors discussions and illustrations of the cycle of violence the effects of domestic violence on children and adolescents the therapeutic challenges of couple/conjoint therapy handling crisis intervention suggestions for conducting group and therapeutic therapy for victim and batterer A Therapist's Guide to Growing Free and its companion volume provide both therapists and clients with a practical, action-oriented approach to the problem of domestic violence. It is ideal training and reference material for counselors at women's shelters, emergency room personnel, law-enforcement officers, and other professionals involved in the rescue, support, defense, and treatment of victims and survivors. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy Jay L. Lebow, 2012-07-05 The latest theory, research, and practice information for family therapy The last twenty years have seen an explosion of new, innovative, and empirically supported therapeutic approaches for treating families. Mental health professionals working with families today apply a wide range of approaches to a variety of situations and clients using techniques based on their clinically and empirically proven effectiveness, their focus on specific individual and relational disorders, their applicability in various contexts, and their prominence in the field. In this accessible and comprehensive text, each chapter covers specific problems, the theoretical and practical elements of the treatment approach, recommended intervention strategies, special considerations, supporting research, and clinical examples. The contributors provide step-by-step guidelines for implementing the approaches described and discuss particular issues that arise in different couple, family, and cultural contexts. Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy covers treatment strategies for the most common problems encountered in family therapy, including: Domestic violence Adolescent defiance, anxiety, and depression Trauma-induced problems Stepfamily conflicts ADHD disruption Substance abuse in adults and adolescents Couple conflict and divorce Chronic illness A detailed reference for today's best treatment strategies, the Handbook of Clinical Family Therapy brings together the top practitioners and scholars to produce an innovative and user-friendly guide for clinicians and students alike. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The 72 Hour Rule Margot Brown, 2011 The 72 Hour Rule focuses on helping adult individuals and couples to communicate more effectively. This book helps the reader identify their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Then, the reader is guided through a series of topics, and real-time stories and exercises that will help them achieve successful communication with their partner. This book provides easy-to-use step-by-step exercises to help couples improve their relationship. This book examines substance abuse, violence, mental illness, unemployment, family dynamics, and affairs as topics of discussion, and is a breakthrough for all partners who avoid couples therapy or who have had a previous negative counseling experience. This book is based on both research and experience. Read this book as a couple together; integrate new communication tools into your relationship. The 72 Hour Rule is a simple and effective guideline to a more caring and connected partnership. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors Susan M. Johnson, 2011-11-03 This book provides a theoretical framework and a practical model of intervention for distressed couples whose relationships are affected by the echoes of trauma. Combining attachment theory, trauma research, and emotionally focused therapeutic techniques, Susan M. Johnson guides the clinician in modifying the interactional patterns that maintain traumatic stress and fostering positive, healing relationships among survivors and their partners. In-depth case material brings to life the process of assessment and treatment with couples coping with the impact of different kinds of trauma, including childhood abuse, serious illness, and combat experiences. The concluding chapter features valuable advice on therapist self-care. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Handbook of Clinical Issues in Couple Therapy Joseph L. Wetchler, 2011-03-01 Now updated in its second edition, Handbook of Clinical Issues in Couple Therapy provides a comprehensive overview of emerging issues that impact couple therapy. Unlike other guides that concentrate more on theoretical approaches, this invaluable resource contains the latest research and perspectives that every clinician needs when dealing with the challenging issues often found in practice. Carefully referenced, it explores a range of issues that include intimate partner violence, posttraumatic stress disorder and its effect on couple relationships, divorce therapy, remarriage and cohabitation issues, cultural issues, and couple therapist training. This insightful edited volume is suitable for a wide spectrum of readers, including couple and family therapists, counselors, psychologists, social workers, pastoral counselors, educators, and graduate students. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Solution Building in Couples Therapy Elliott Connie, MA, LPC, 2012-09-14 This brief volume presents the basic premises of solution building, liberally enriched with examples. This is a remarkable book, the first of its kind, radical in its message, written about couples but also suitable for all manner of referrals.--Choice: Current Reviews for Academic Libraries ìElliott Connie has written a remarkable book. Read it and you will be taken on a journey. If you are new to the world of solution focused brief therapy, beware! This book could capture your heartÖAs Elliott says from the very beginning, solution focused brief therapy is simple, so simple it is really hard to learn. And from this book, if you set out to do so, you could teach yourself how to become a competent solution focused brief therapist. It is all here, laid out clearly, packed with examples from the real world of therapy, repeated and repeated like onion skins, each repetition releasing its own flavour, a variation on a theme, a new understanding of something already known.î Chris Iveson, MA BRIEF London, UK Working with couples presents psychotherapists and counselors with a unique set of challenges, such that many therapists prefer not to work with couples or attempt to avoid it entirely. In the first book written about solution focused therapy (SFT) with couples, author Elliott Connie describes how his use of SFT made working with couples a pleasure rather than a burden. The solution focused approach is one that facilitates cooperation between partners in the creation of an agreed-upon future, rather than merely focusing on the problems that have come to define the relationship. Beginning with a clear explanation of the assumptions and tenets required for the practice of SFT, this book presents a step-by-step breakdown of exactly how to conduct solution building sessions with couples. Each chapter focuses on a different part of the therapeutic process and includes sample dialogues, techniques, and vignettes drawn from the authorís own extensive practice. Readers will feel as though they themselves are going through the therapeutic process with the couples and observing the impact of each step of the process. Numerous exercises and common solution focused questions help readers integrate this new material into their repertoire for immediate use. Key Features: Provides a unique view of couples therapy in action using the solution focused approach Includes actual questions to ask clients, sample dialogues, and sample homework assignments Features examples drawn from actual cases, illustrating techniques used in practice with real couples Presents scales to measure progress and supporting research for the application of solution-focused therapy to couples counseling |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Love Without Hurt Steven Stosny, 2008-01-01 An essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship Are you the victim of a chronic anger, verbal or emotional abuse? Do you constantly second-guess your thoughts and behavior to avoid being hurt or put down by your husband or boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship, you can end the abuse and rebuild a loving, compassionate environment for you and your family. In Love Without Hurt, psychotherapist Dr. Steven Stosny explains the many forms of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships so you can identify abuse and why it's so important to take action to change your relationship-especially because, if you have children, they have become innocent victims of the same abuse. Drawing from the revolutionary techniques of his CompassionPower boot camp, this practical program shows you self-healing techniques to help you recover from the pain and abuse, as well as methods for your partner to rewire his anger, resentment, and abusive behavior. Love Without Hurt is an essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Psychological Maltreatment of Children Nelson J. Binggeli, Stuart N. Hart, Marla R. Brassard, 2001-07-19 Psychological Maltreatment of Children is a brief introduction to the emotional abuse of children and youth metnal health professionals, child welfare specialists, and other professionals involved with research, education, practice, and policy de Copyright © Libri GmbH. All rights reserved. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Marital Therapy Neil S. Jacobson, Gayla Margolin, 1979 First Published in 1986. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Beyond Messy Relationships Judy K. Herman, 2019-06-04 Discover your true self and find hope beyond your messy relationships! As a mental health therapist, Judy prepares to see her next client. As a wife, she falls apart in the midst of her husband’s psychosis. His inpatient psychiatrist says, “This is going to be a hard case”. Judy’s first marriage of 29 years ended in divorce after toxic patterns of chronic bitterness. Facing the shame of her past and mothering four children, she recognizes divine invitations toward her authentic self. After four years into a new marriage with her beloved dance partner, Judy suddenly faces frightful realities. Can Judy’s second marriage recover from damage caused by his psychosis? Beyond Messy Relationships is not only an intense and dramatic memoir. It’s a mix of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration that helps readers make sense of their deep feelings. In Beyond Messy Relationships, readers: Discover they’re not alone as they resonate with the messy relationships of a licensed professional counselor Learn a simple formula of A.I.R. to experience freedom beyond the messes Connect the dots from their past to their present Overcome shame so they can experience the freedom they long for Within Beyond Messy Relationships, readers find hope through the formula of breathing in fresh A.I.R.: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks and recognize divine invitations beyond the messes. Finding your authentic self is worth the journey. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Emotion-focused Couples Therapy Leslie S. Greenberg, Rhonda N. Goldman, 2008 In Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy: The Dynamics of Emotion, Love, and Power, authors Leslie S. Greenberg and Rhonda N. Goldman explore the foundations of emotionally focused therapy for couples. They expand its framework to focus more intently on the development of the self and the relationship system through the promotion of self-soothing and other-soothing; to deal with unmet needs both from the client's adulthood and childhood; and to work more explicitly with emotions, specifically fear, anxiety, shame, power, joy, and love. The authors discuss the affect regulation involved in three major motivational systems central to couples therapy - attachment, identity, and attraction and clarify emotions and motivations in the dominance dimension of couples' interactions.Written with practitioners and graduate students in mind, the authors use a rich variety of case material to demonstrate how working with emotions can facilitate change in couples and, by extension, in all situations where people may be in emotional conflict with others. Greenberg and Goldman provide the tools needed to identify specific emotions and show the reader how to work with them to resolve conflict and promote bonding in couples therapy. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling Jon Carlson, Shannon B. Dermer, 2016-09-15 The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family and Couples Counseling is a new, all-encompassing, landmark work for researchers seeking to broaden their knowledge of this vast and diffuse field. Marriage and family counseling programs are established at institutions worldwide, yet there is no current work focused specifically on family therapy. While other works have discussed various methodologies, cases, niche aspects of the field and some broader views of counseling in general, this authoritative Encyclopedia provides readers with a fully comprehensive and accessible reference to aid in understanding the full scope and diversity of theories, approaches, and techniques and how they address various life events within the unique dynamics of families, couples, and related interpersonal relationships. Key topics include: Assessment Communication Coping Diversity Interventions and Techniques Life Events/Transitions Sexuality Work/Life Issues, and more Key features include: More than 500 signed articles written by key figures in the field span four comprehensive volumes Front matter includes a Reader’s Guide that groups related entries thematically Back matter includes a history of the development of the field, a Resource Guide to key associations, websites, and journals, a selected Bibliography of classic publications, and a detailed Index All entries conclude with Further Readings and Cross References to related entries to aid the reader in their research journey |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Attachment Processes in Couple and Family Therapy Susan M. Johnson, Valerie E. Whiffen, 2005-12-15 This practical book presents cutting-edge approaches to couple and family therapy that use attachment theory as the basis for new clinical understandings. Fresh and provocative insights are provided on the nature of interactions between adult partners and among parents and children; the role of attachment in distressed and satisfying relationships; and the ways attachment-oriented interventions can address individual problems as well as marital conflict and difficult family transitions. With contributions from leading clinicians and researchers, the volume offers both general strategies and specific techniques for helping clients build stronger, more supportive relational bonds. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Emotionally Destructive Relationship Leslie Vernick, 2007-08-15 Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to: Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt Confront and speak truth when the timing is right Determine when to keep trying, when to get out Get safe and stay safe Build an identity in Christ This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: When Love Goes Wrong Ann R. Jones, 1993-04-14 Millions of women each year find themselves in relationships with controlling or abusive partners and don't know what to do, or even what's wrong. A woman may feel anxious, inadequate, intimidated -- and as if she is walking on tiptoe. And she may find herself trying harder and harder to make things right without ever being successful. Ann Jones and Susan Schechter bring together their more than fifteen years of experience working with women in abusive relationships to offer an eyeopening new analysis of controlling partners and a wealth of empowering information for women who want to change their lives for the better. Full of moving first-person stories, When Love Goes Wrong shows women what their options are in or out of the relationship, provides concrete guidance on finding safety and support for themselves and their children, and includes a comprehensive list of agencies offering information or assistance. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence Edward S. Kubany, Mari A. McCaig, Janet R. Laconsay, 2004 If you've freed yourself from an abusive relationship but still suffer from its effects, this program of trauma recovery techniques can help you take back your peace of mind. Based on a clinically proven set of techniques called cognitive trauma therapy (CTT), the exercises in this workbook will help you address feelings of guilt, anger, depression, anxiety, and stress. You'll learn how to break down the negative thoughts that might be cycling in your mind and how to replace them with positive, constructive affirmations. Later in the program, you'll be guided through controlled exposure to abuse reminders, which will enable you to face the fears you might otherwise spend a lifetime avoiding. The program begins and ends with techniques for becoming your own best advocate -- an informed, confident person with all the strength you need to create the secure, fulfilling life you deserve. Book jacket. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma Heather B. MacIntosh, 2019-04-09 Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma provides therapists with comprehensive and practical guidance for integrating DCTCT into their work with traumatized couples. The book includes an evidence-based framework which emphasizes the importance of containing conflict and helps clients to build emotional regulation and mentalizing skills. The framework is an invaluable asset to all clinicians working with couples dealing with the ravaging impacts of complex trauma, who may not be able to benefit from traditional forms of couple therapy due to challenges in regulating emotions, mentalizing and other aspects of the complex trauma response that limit capacity to engage in relationships and couple therapy. The chapters guide you through the four key stages of DCTCT: Psychoeducation, Building Capacity, Dyadic Processing, and Consolidation. Each stage has accompanying activities and narratives in which to engage traumatized couples and includes a variety of case transcripts to illustrate the approach. Throughout the manual the author provides the reader with: insights from real-world scenarios based on her extensive clinical experience; worksheets that can be used as part of the therapeutic process; systematic analyses of the therapeutic process from the therapist’s point of view; comprehensive recommendations for further reading so that you can develop your expertise in any area of DCTCT. Never losing sight of the fact that the therapist plays an essential role as a coach and mentor for those undertaking couple therapy, this manual is a valuable tool for any clinician working to engage traumatized couples and equip them with the skills they need to develop and maintain a strong and vibrant couple relationship. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Cambridge Handbook of Applied Psychological Ethics Mark M. Leach, Elizabeth Reynolds Welfel, 2018-03-15 The Cambridge Handbook of Applied Psychological Ethics is a valuable resource for psychologists and graduate students hoping to further develop their ethical decision making beyond more introductory ethics texts. The book offers real-world ethical vignettes and considerations. Chapters cover a wide range of practice settings, populations, and topics, and are written by scholars in these settings. Chapters focus on the application of ethics to the ethical dilemmas in which mental health and other psychology professionals sometimes find themselves. Each chapter introduces a setting and gives readers a brief understanding of some of the potential ethical issues at hand, before delving deeper into the multiple ethical issues that must be addressed and the ethical principles and standards involved. No other book on the market captures the breadth of ethical issues found in daily practice and focuses entirely on applied ethics in psychology. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships John Welwood, 2005-12-27 A nationally known couples therapist reveals the single root cause of all relationship problems—and offers revolutionary advice on what to do about it While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. If love is so great and powerful, why are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal ‘wound of the heart’ that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This core wound shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. It shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace these imperfections—within ourselves and within our relationships—as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world. |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| couples therapy abusive relationships: The Teen Relationship Workbook Kerry Moles, 2001 This workbook is for therapists, counselors, and other professionals working with young people to prevent or end relationship abuse. Designed to teach teens to recognize the warning signs in relationship abuse and develop skills for healthy relationships. |
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