| couples therapy or break up: Exaholics Lisa Marie Bobby, 2016-02-10 Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should get over it already. But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness. |
| couples therapy or break up: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| couples therapy or break up: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| couples therapy or break up: True Love Dates Debra K. Fileta, 2013-10-08 It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to kiss dating goodbye but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating. |
| couples therapy or break up: Using Relentless Empathy in the Therapeutic Relationship Anabelle Bugatti, 2020-12-30 With a refreshing approach to resistance in therapy, Using Relentless Empathy in the Therapeutic Relationship offers practical tools and tips to help therapists and clinicians across all modalities of counseling work with their most challenging clients. By illustrating the power of empathic responsiveness coupled with attachment science and interventions, the author goes straight to the heart of what’s vital for building strong therapeutic alliances with even the most difficult clients. Using Relentless Empathy in the Therapeutic Relationship presents effective tools that clinicians and therapists can use to move away from pathological diagnostic labels toward engaging with people in their distress. This is a valuable resource to anyone in a helping profession, teaching them to effectively use their most valuable instrument—themselves—by harnessing the power of relentless empathy to shape relationships with not only clients but also the outside world. |
| couples therapy or break up: The Angry Therapist John Kim, 2017-04-18 Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-styledesigner, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls “self-help in a shot glass” is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living. Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong. When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of me too as opposed to you should. He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR. |
| couples therapy or break up: The Hard Questions Susan Piver, 2021-06-22 A revised and expanded edition of the classic relationship book that has helped thousands of couples shape a shared vision for their lives together. With this simple-yet-profound relationship tool, Susan Piver shows couples at any stage of their relationships--whether they are considering engagement, have been married for decades, or just want to deepen their connection--how they can forge and strengthen lasting, intimate bonds. Focusing on key areas such as home, money, work, community, and family, The Hard Questions contains 100 thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, including: • What will our home look like? • What are our professional goals? • How do you feel about sharing our life on social media? • Will we try to have children, and if so, when? The Hard Questions provides couples with guidance and support for having the kind of conversations that will lead them to a deeper understanding of each other and a happy, healthy, and prosperous future together. |
| couples therapy or break up: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| couples therapy or break up: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| couples therapy or break up: I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You Andrew G Marshall, 2010-02-15 How do you fall back in love? This was the underlying problem of one in four couples seeking help from relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall. They described their problem as: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. Noticing how widespread the phenomenon had become, he decided to look more closely. Why were these relationships becoming defined more by companionship than by passion, and why was companionship no longer enough? From his research Andrew has devised his own unique programme. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, share love, take responsibility, give and learn he offers in seven steps a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves, strengthen their bond and recover that lost magic. |
| couples therapy or break up: Conscious Uncoupling Katherine Woodward Thomas, 2015-09-22 And Then They Lived Happily… We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment. Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way. Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring. Katherine Woodward Thomas's groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps: Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist Step 5: Create Your Happy Even After Life This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing. |
| couples therapy or break up: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| couples therapy or break up: After the Breakup: a Self-Love Journal Lindsey Dortch Brock, 2021-10-05 Move beyond your breakup and bounce back stronger with self-love exercises A breakup can be devastating--no matter what side you're on--but with a little inspiration and introspection, you can heal and become the best version of yourself. This guided love journal will help you boost your self-esteem, tap into your inner strength, and reflect on root causes and behavior patterns after a breakup. You'll find prompts and exercises for each step of recovery--from coping immediately after the breakup to preparing for a healthier, happier next relationship and avoiding the dreaded backslide. Go beyond other self-help journals with: A breakup guide for all--This journal is designed for anyone experiencing a breakup, no matter your background or relationship type. Relatable entries--Discover 150 prompts, exercises, quotes, and anecdotes that help address key points on the healing journey, like identifying areas of self-improvement and compartmentalizing feelings. A stage-by-stage structure--Follow the guided format through every step of the process--from processing feelings to getting back out there. Put yourself first, process your breakup, and build healthier relationships with this self-love journal. |
| couples therapy or break up: Breakup Bootcamp Amy Chan, 2020-12-01 “A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw.” —THE OBSERVER A self-affirming, holistic guide for everyone—single or married, divorced or dating—to transforming heartbreak into healing by the founder of the innovative and revolutionary Renew Breakup Bootcamp Amy Chan hit rock bottom when she discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. Although she was angry and broken-hearted, Chan soon came to realize that the breakup was the shakeup she needed to redirect her life. Instead of descending into darkness, she used the pain of the breakup as a bridge to self-actualization. She devoted herself to learning various healing modalities from the ancient to the scientific, and dived into the psychology of love. It worked. Fast forward years later, Amy completely transformed her life, her relationships and founded a breakup bootcamp helping countless women heal their hearts. In Breakup Bootcamp, Amy Chan directs her experience as a relationship columnist and as the creator of Renew Breakup Bootcamp into a practical, thoughtful guide to turning broken hearts into an opportunity to break out of complacency and destructive habits. Dubbed the Chief Heart Hacker, Amy Chan grounds her practical advice and tried and tested methods rooted in cutting-edge psychology and research, helping first her bootcamp attendees and now her readers most effectively heal and reclaim their self-love. Breakup Bootcamp comes at the perfect time, when many are feeling the intensity of being in or out of a relationship, lonely or suffocated, and flirting with old toxic relationships they’ve outgrown. Relatable, life-changing, and backed by sound scientific research, Breakup Bootcamp can help anyone turn their greatest heartbreak into a powerful tool for growth. |
| couples therapy or break up: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| couples therapy or break up: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies Brent Bradley, James Furrow, 2013-07-15 A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world's most successful approach to couple therapy One of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships. An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors' case files Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist |
| couples therapy or break up: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| couples therapy or break up: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2007-10-30 One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. |
| couples therapy or break up: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| couples therapy or break up: Magnetic Partners Stephen Betchen, 2010-05-18 Do you and your partner argue about the same things over and over again? Are you often confused about why your partner is so angry with you? Are things getting worse and worse even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to make them better? In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples’ therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their lives—an unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing up—which he calls a master conflict. The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apart—many of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both. From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflicts—such as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivity—and for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to: • Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems • Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner • Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart • Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partners is an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience. Partners |
| couples therapy or break up: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations Elinor Greenberg, 2016-09-12 Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations demystifies the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. It offers clear and practical advice on how to differentiate and treat clients who have made Borderline, Narcissistic, or Schizoid adaptations. Elinor Greenberg begins with an overview of the topic of personality disorders, reframes these disorders as adaptations, and then explains the treatment interventions that work best for each type of adaptation. Later chapters describe how to do specific interventions that deal with commonly encountered treatment issues such as: such as: How to undo a Narcissistic shame-based self-hating depression, How to judge a Schizoid client's sense of interpersonal safety from their dreams, and How to help Borderline clients reach their goals. Each type of intervention is explained in detail, ample clinical examples are given, as is how and when to utilize the method in the client's treatment. Both beginning therapists and experienced clinicians alike will find this book a useful resource that will expand their understanding and effectiveness with this often challenging group of clients. |
| couples therapy or break up: Baby Bomb Kara Hoppe, Stan Tatkin, 2021-07-01 Before you succeed at parenting, you need to succeed as a couple! Baby Bomb is the resource you need when a new baby turns your life—and your romantic relationship—upside down. A baby is a blessing—and also a completely life-altering event. If you’re like many new parents, nothing could have fully prepared you for the exhaustion of late-night feedings, the explosive diapers, the evaporation of your free time, the pure joy, and the moments of pure terror. In the midst of these hazy, early months, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. And when you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to put your romantic relationship on the back burner. But, more and more, research shows that in order to be the best parents you can be, you and your partner need to make sure that your needs—as a couple—are also met. Written by a psychologist and relationship expert, Baby Bomb offers powerful tools based in psychology and neurobiology to help you and your partner co-parent and co-partner as a solid and supportive team—while also cultivating mad love for each other! You’ll find more than just “tips” for better parenting and partnering; you’ll discover how a secure-functioning relationship is essential for raising happy, healthy kids. This isn’t a book with advice about how to have a romantic candlelit dinner while your baby is screaming in the other room. It’s a road map for getting on the same page about your expectations as parents, about your needs as humans, and about how to maintain a strong and lasting relationship in the face of, well, a baby bomb. |
| couples therapy or break up: Can This Marriage Be Saved? Paul Popenoe, 2008-11 Can This Marriage Be Saved? by Paul Popenoe Other Books by Paul Popenoe MODERN MARRIAGE: A HANDBOOK FOR MEN MARRIAGE BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT DIVORCE - 17 WAYS TO AVOID IT Introduction: Marriage Counseling at the American Institute of Family Relations When the American Institute of Family Relations opened its doors in Los Angeles, California, on February 4, 1930, we were incorporated as a nonprofit organization dedicated to employing the resources of modern science to strengthen marriage and family life. At that time there was much talk about the rising divorce rate, but almost no concerted effort was made to check it. Our undertaking, with skilled services available to everybody at minimum cost, was the first of its kind in the world. In the beginning we had a group of four nationally known psychological consultants and eight medical consultants on whom to call whenever necessary. I myself did all of the marriage counseling with the sole aid of a retired psychiatric social worker, who also acted as the receptionist in our offices. To a large section of the general public in that day the purpose of marriage counseling was a mystery. Our first client, a woman, appeared at my desk with a poorly dressed, dejected man who she announced was penniless. Despite this liability, she wanted to marry him. She had been informed that our chief function was to promote successful marriages, and she suggested it was my responsibility to lend her companion enough money so they could marry and start a new home. Unfortunately, my assistant and I were unable to meet this challenge thus we failed on our very first case! Another client of those early days was an orange grower to whom I gave a personality test. He listened with interest as I explained the results and said, That's just about right. Then he asked, Do you believe in numerology? Not at all, I replied. It hasn't the slightest scientific standing. Well, he rejoined, I consulted a numerologist before coming here, and he told me exactly what you have just told me only he didn't charge me so much for it! Still another client reported to me that his wife complained he did not support the family adequately, but that their money troubles were really all her fault. She controlled the finances and would not let him have enough capital to carry on his business and make a living. What is your business? I asked, and he replied after a momentary pause, I play the races. Most of our clients, of course, were burdened by far more serious worries. At that time Los Angeles had no Family Service, and people appealed to us with a wide range of questions they could not get answered elsewhere. A breakdown of our first 1000 cases shows that we gave assistance in premarital and child welfare problems, and advised on matters of education, law, heredity, and sex. Only 245 of our first 1000 cases were concerned with marital maladjustment amp field which now represents the major part of our work. |
| couples therapy or break up: Buddha's Bedroom Cheryl Fraser, 2019-01-02 Dr. Cheryl Fraser presents enlivening mindfulness exercises, techniques from couples and sex therapy, and the wisdom of Buddhist teachings to help you spark the passion and thrill you've been seeking in your relationship. With this book, couples can break free from the monotony of familiar routines and bring a little nirvana back to the bedroom for a more exciting, loving, and fulfilling connection. |
| couples therapy or break up: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| couples therapy or break up: Understanding and Lifting Depression Without Drugs Joe Griffin, Ivan Tyrrell, 2005 |
| couples therapy or break up: Counseling Before Marriage Everett L. Worthington, 1990 Everett Worthington's study on counseling before marriage is part of the Resources for Christian Counseling series, a series that combines the best of current psychological insight with rigorous adherence to Scripture. |
| couples therapy or break up: Dating Radar Bill Eddy, Megan Hunter, 2017-08-22 Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar, it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing: 1. Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger 2. Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you) 3. Where your own blind spots might be Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late! If hindsight is 20/20, dating radar is x-ray vision. Bill Eddy is an award-winning author and president of High Conflict Institute.Megan Hunter is a publisher, author, speaker and the founder of Unhooked Media. |
| couples therapy or break up: Common Dilemmas in Couple Therapy Judith P. Leavitt, 2010-06-10 Common Dilemmas in Couple Therapy addresses four common problems that couples therapists face everyday in their offices – problems that leave therapists exhausted, drained, challenged, alive, racing, and on edge. These dilemmas encompass not only the difficult challenges therapists face everyday, but also the passions and profound disappointments of human intimate partnerships. The purpose of this book is not only to explore and give case illustrations of these dilemmas, but also to give therapists strategies to use and help them understand and handle their own profound experiences while doing this work. |
| couples therapy or break up: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| couples therapy or break up: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: The Workbook Lori Gottlieb, 2021-11-09 Part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself - to let go of the limiting stories you've told yourself about who you are so that you can live your life, and not the stories you've been telling yourself about your life. Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone When Maybe You Should Talk to Someone was released into the world, it became an instant New York Times bestseller and international phenomenon, with readers across the globe finding their truth in the powerful stories Lori Gottlieb shared from inside her therapy room. As millions highlighted and underlined page after page, a movement took shape and they asked for more: Can you take these lessons and create for us a guide as transformative as the book itself? Lori decided to do just that. In this empowering, one-of-a-kind workbook, Lori offers a step-by-step process for becoming the author of your own life by giving it a thorough edit. Using eye-opening concepts, thought-provoking exercises, compelling writing prompts, and real examples from the patients in the original book, Lori has created an easy-to-follow guide through the journey of becoming our own editors, examining aspects of our narratives that hold us back, and discovering the ways in which changing our stories can change our lives. An experience, a meditation, and a practical toolkit combined into one, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: The Workbook is the companion readers have been asking for: a revolutionary method for understanding which stories to keep and which to revise so that we can create our own personal masterpieces. By the end of this unknowing, you will be surprised, inspired, and most of all, liberated. |
| couples therapy or break up: Stand & Watch It Burn Lexie Lea, 2022-02-24 When Elizabeth Maddox is thrown into the corporate world after losing her father she soon realizes the hardest thing about betrayal is that it doesn't always come from your enemies. Secrets are uncovered as she dives deeper into her father's death and immerses herself as the new CEO at Centurion Inc. Her first day on the job reveals the biggest betrayal of all: magic exists. Unsure of who to trust, Elizabeth finds herself developing an unlikely friendship that may just help her finally get some answers. The question is: can they be trusted? She soon learns that each betrayal...begins with trust. |
| couples therapy or break up: Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce William Joseph Doherty, Steven Michael Harris, 2017 This book presents a five-session protocol for distressed couples to learn about what has happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems, with the goal of clarifying a direction for their marriage |
| couples therapy or break up: Hope, Forgiveness, and Positive Psychology in Couple Therapy Everett L. Worthington Jr., Jennifer S. Ripley, 2024-10-22 This guide introduces the Hope-Focused Approach to couple therapy and provides a hands-on, practical resource for clinicians and students to integrate this approach into their practice effectively. Drawing from positive psychology, virtue theory, and forgiveness theory, the book describes how therapists can design a hope-focused treatment to promote intimacy, help couples communicate and resolve disagreements, strengthen emotional bonds, build trust, guide forgiveness, and encourage reconciliation. This book takes the therapist from assessing couples, to designing initial treatment plans, intervening in sessions, and facilitating termination. Focusing on communication training and conflict resolution, Worthington and Ripley share over 100 evidence-based techniques, case studies, and interventions to illustrate how to help couples effectively. Examples incorporate complex issues of race and sexuality, as well as values such as religion and politics. This practical guide arms therapists with a strategy to enrich their practice of couple therapy, equips them with practical techniques, and helps them promote forgiveness and reconciliation when couples seek it. This book is an invaluable resource for beginning counselors, graduate students, and practicing marriage and family therapists. |
| couples therapy or break up: Couple Therapy Molly Ludlam, 2024-08-08 Couple Therapy: The Basics provides a comprehensive introduction to couple therapy. Taking both a general overview and a psychoanalytic focus, it addresses the basic questions that both couples and those interested in becoming couple therapists can expect to ask. Using jargon-light language, this book summarises the range of approaches available to those seeking couple therapy – from behavioural to psychoanalytic. It covers topics such as: what defines a couple, challenges for couple therapists, and outcomes for couple therapy. While introducing the subject to many readers, it also aims to further interest in and understanding of couple therapy, explaining its differences from other therapies. A glossary of key terms is included, as well as appendices with links to research and associated organisations. This book is essential for early career therapists, as well as those undertaking or are interested in couple therapy. |
| couples therapy or break up: Integrative Couple Therapy in Action Arthur C. Nielsen, 2022-04-26 Integrative Couple Therapy in Action offers a comprehensive, user-friendly guide to handling the most common problems and crisis situations seen by couple therapists. Drawing on the latest literature and the author’s experience of over 40 years, Nielsen investigates what makes certain issues, such as sex, or situations, such as extramarital affairs, so stressful for clients and challenging for therapists. Unlike most graduate programs and texts on couple therapy that focus on theory and technique, Integrated Couple Therapy in Action fills in the details. The chapters cover common presenting problems (sex, money, children, and the stresses of time, work, and simply living together) and then discuss catastrophic crisis situations (couples reeling from affairs, contemplating divorce, divorcing, or living in stepfamilies after divorcing). Integrative Couple Therapy in Action provides one-stop shopping for readers of all skill levels interested in understanding the subject matter that bedevils so many couples. |
| couples therapy or break up: Case Studies in Couples Therapy David K. Carson, Montserrat Casado-Kehoe, 2013-06-19 This up-to-date, highly readable, theory-based, and application-oriented book fills a crucial void in literature on couple therapy. Few books in the couple therapy market bridge the gap between theory and practice; texts tend to lean in one direction or the other, either emphasizing theory and research with little practical application, or taking a cookbook approach that describes specific techniques and interventions that are divorced from any conceptual or theoretical base. However, couples therapy requires a high degree of abstract/conceptual thinking, as well as ingenuity, inventiveness and skill on the part of the therapist. Case Studies in Couples Therapy blends the best of all worlds: clinical applications with challenging and diverse couples that have been derived from the most influential theories and models in couples and family therapy, all written by highly experienced and respected voices in the field. In Case Studies in Couples Therapy, readers will grasp the essentials of major theories and approaches in a few pages and then see how concepts and principles are applied in the work of well-known clinicians. The case studies incorporate a wide variety of couples from diverse backgrounds in a number of different life situations. It is simultaneously narrow (including specific processes and interventions applied with real clients) and broad (clearly outlining a broad array of theories and concepts) in scope, and the interventions in it are directly linked to theoretical perspectives in a clear and systematic way. Students and clinicians alike will find the theoretical overview sections of each chapter clear and easy to follow, and each chapter’s thorough descriptions of effective, practical interventions will give readers a strong sense of the connections between theory and practice. |
| couples therapy or break up: Make Up, Don't Break Up Bonnie Eaker Weil, Harville Hendrix, 1997-01-01 One of America's best-known relationship experts reveals the reasons so many relationships fail and shows readers how to side-step the traps and pitfalls that stop relationships and marriages before they start. She also offers advice on how to wake up and shake up a relationship. |
| couples therapy or break up: Handbook of LGBT-affirmative Couple and Family Therapy Jerry J. Bigner, Joseph L. Wetchler, 2012 Handbook of LGBT-Affirmative Couple and Family Therapy provides a comprehensive and specific overview, spanning thirty chapters, of the diverse and complex issues involved in LGBT couple and family therapy. |
| couples therapy or break up: Winnicott and 'Good Enough' Couple Therapy Claire Rabin, 2014-04-03 Claire Rabin innovatively applies the Winnicottian theory of the ‘good enough mother’ to couple therapy, redirecting attention to the therapeutic relationship and the therapist’s self-awareness regardless of the methods used. Using this lens, even the therapist’s mistakes become an opportunity for repairing both the therapeutic relationship and the partners’ own personal maturity. The intensity and pressure of couple therapy can make each case a test of the therapist’s competence. The need for neutrality constitutes on-going pressure on the therapist and the proliferation of therapeutic methods can cause confusion about which might be most useful in each situation. Applying theory effectively is easier said than done within the context of the powerful emotions unleashed in sessions, which can result in a catastrophic atmosphere. These factors can make it hard for therapists to utilise their own skills and knowledge within sessions of couple therapy. The book explores how therapists and couples can unintentionally further ‘false selves’ without realising how the very tools of change may counter authenticity. Featuring interviews with an international range of couple therapists and case studies from the author’s own experiences, the key aspects of the ‘good enough’ concept are elaborated. Rabin shows how these ideas can strengthen therapists’ sense of security and safety in using their lived experience and intuition. Winnicott and Good Enough Couple Therapy is the ideal book for clinicians seeking an overarching framework for working with couples or families, as well as those concerned with the importance of the client-helper relationship. |
The Conscious Uncoupling 5 Step Process
Whether someone is going through a breakup now, or still suffering from unresolved grief from a breakup in their past, the 5-steps of Conscious Uncoupling can help clients find emotional …
The Couples Communica0on Workbook - Between Sessions
• couples counseling is most effec=ve when communica=on is open and honest, and when partners take responsibility for their own feelings and behaviors; • sessions are kept completely …
How to Get The Most From Your Couples Therapy
Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones. To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs …
Coping with a breakup self-help resourse - The University of …
Self-care following a breakup is very important. Here are some are some strategies to help you cope after a break up: . Reach out to people who care, and who will listen to your feelings and …
Professional Support and Development FACT SHEET COPING …
relationship break up can prevent similar mistakes with a future relationship. Avoid regular contact with your ex-partner. This can just prolong the pain and delay the healing process. If you …
Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce: Discernment …
take one of three paths: to do couples therapy, to divorce, or to remain on hold for now. Part III addresses several common scenarios encountered by discern-ment counselors: active affairs, …
Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for Common
The aim of ACT: to create a rich, full and meaningful life, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it. A key message: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action …
RECOVERY FROM SEPARATION AND DIVORCE - Recovery …
Restored Lives helps people recover from relationship breakdown. By supporting people and their children through separation or divorce, when a relationship is beyond repair, we help reduce …
Ge ng Over Breaking Up - Between Sessions
ing and transforma on. Whether you're experiencing a recent breakup or are s ll grappling with the lingering effects of a past one, this workbook will guide you through the stages of recovery, …
Coping with Relationship Breakdown - Counselling Connection
People going through a relationship breakdown are more likely to experience mental health problems (especially in the form of anxiety or depression), poor physical health, and reduced …
The Gottman Method for Couples Counseling - Psychology …
The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in …
WHAT IS EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES T HERAP Y (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic treatment approach whose goal is the reconnection between partners. EFT, developed by Susan Johnson and Les Greenberg, is …
Understanding Couples Therapy - Couples Institute
Goals, Objectives, and What Is Included in Good Couples Therapy The major goal of couple’s therapy is to increase your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the patterns of …
Guide to Early EFT Sessions.steppingintoEFT
Help couple unfold their story – perceptions of problems and strengths, pivotal events. Assess the nature of the problem and the relationship. Is it suitable for couple therapy? Are there …
Coping Strategies for Recovering from a Break-Up - Between …
Coping Strategies for Recovering from a Break-Up Objective To identify ways to cope following the end of a romantic relationship. You Should Know When a relationship ends, it can be …
Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy - Clinton Power
Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy . The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy …
ACT For Relationship Issues Russ Harris, 2017 - Actmindfully
Learning new skills to handle difficult thoughts and feelings more effectively Clarifying values: what sort of partner you want to be & what sort of relationship you want to build Taking action: …
how to break up with someone - University of Alberta
break up can be a profoundly difficult transition to negotiate and a painful experience for partners who do not wish the romantic relationship to end. It can be tempting in the moment to offer the …
Ending a Relationship Through Conscious Uncoupling
There is a way to end a romantic relationship with honor, respect, generosity and goodwill, navigating through the breakup in a way that fosters “posttraumatic growth” rather than …
The Workbook for
from the authors, demonstrations with couples, advanced training in the tools in their book, quizzes, checklists, interactive applications, and information about upcoming webinars to …
The Conscious Uncoupling 5 Step Process
Whether someone is going through a breakup now, or still suffering from unresolved grief from a breakup in their past, the 5-steps of Conscious Uncoupling can help clients find emotional …
The Couples Communica0on Workbook - Between Sessions
• couples counseling is most effec=ve when communica=on is open and honest, and when partners take responsibility for their own feelings and behaviors; • sessions are kept …
How to Get The Most From Your Couples Therapy
Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones. To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs …
Coping with a breakup self-help resourse - The University of …
Self-care following a breakup is very important. Here are some are some strategies to help you cope after a break up: . Reach out to people who care, and who will listen to your feelings and …
Professional Support and Development FACT SHEET COPING …
relationship break up can prevent similar mistakes with a future relationship. Avoid regular contact with your ex-partner. This can just prolong the pain and delay the healing process. If you …
Helping Couples on the Brink of Divorce: Discernment …
take one of three paths: to do couples therapy, to divorce, or to remain on hold for now. Part III addresses several common scenarios encountered by discern-ment counselors: active affairs, …
Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for Common
The aim of ACT: to create a rich, full and meaningful life, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it. A key message: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action …
RECOVERY FROM SEPARATION AND DIVORCE - Recovery …
Restored Lives helps people recover from relationship breakdown. By supporting people and their children through separation or divorce, when a relationship is beyond repair, we help reduce …
Ge ng Over Breaking Up - Between Sessions
ing and transforma on. Whether you're experiencing a recent breakup or are s ll grappling with the lingering effects of a past one, this workbook will guide you through the stages of recovery, …
Coping with Relationship Breakdown - Counselling Connection
People going through a relationship breakdown are more likely to experience mental health problems (especially in the form of anxiety or depression), poor physical health, and reduced …
The Gottman Method for Couples Counseling - Psychology …
The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in …
WHAT IS EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES T HERAP Y (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic treatment approach whose goal is the reconnection between partners. EFT, developed by Susan Johnson and Les Greenberg, is …
Understanding Couples Therapy - Couples Institute
Goals, Objectives, and What Is Included in Good Couples Therapy The major goal of couple’s therapy is to increase your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the patterns of …
Guide to Early EFT Sessions.steppingintoEFT
Help couple unfold their story – perceptions of problems and strengths, pivotal events. Assess the nature of the problem and the relationship. Is it suitable for couple therapy? Are there …
Coping Strategies for Recovering from a Break-Up - Between …
Coping Strategies for Recovering from a Break-Up Objective To identify ways to cope following the end of a romantic relationship. You Should Know When a relationship ends, it can be …
Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy - Clinton Power
Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy . The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy …
ACT For Relationship Issues Russ Harris, 2017 - Actmindfully
Learning new skills to handle difficult thoughts and feelings more effectively Clarifying values: what sort of partner you want to be & what sort of relationship you want to build Taking action: …
how to break up with someone - University of Alberta
break up can be a profoundly difficult transition to negotiate and a painful experience for partners who do not wish the romantic relationship to end. It can be tempting in the moment to offer the …
Ending a Relationship Through Conscious Uncoupling
There is a way to end a romantic relationship with honor, respect, generosity and goodwill, navigating through the breakup in a way that fosters “posttraumatic growth” rather than …
The Workbook for
from the authors, demonstrations with couples, advanced training in the tools in their book, quizzes, checklists, interactive applications, and information about upcoming webinars to …
